What I've Done
by RMprincess
Summary: Visions are unpredictable; they can bring good or bad. Meeting a Dragon Rider, however, can be similar; dangerous or maybe not. She never asked for any of it.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters; they all belong to Christopher Paolini except characters you don't recognize as Paolini's.

**Author's note: **Ok, first of all, I want you to know I'm writing this for my friend and this is my first try to write in first person, which means the whole story will be told from the point of view of my main character, Amarantha. The story begins somewhere after the first two books, but not exactly at the end of the second book. Let's just say some time passed before Murtagh and Eragon confronted again. My friend's wish for now is to left out Eragon a bit, so I don't think there will be much of him here. Murtagh might be a bit evil, considering all what happened to him. This might be a bit AU but nothing for sure yet.

* * *

I opened my eyes in the middle of the night. The only thing that was illuminating the room was the shiny moon; I could see it clearly through the window. Everything was so quiet that my fast breathing sounded way too loud. I closed my eyes and opened them again but the images in my head didn't go away. This dream seemed too real and I couldn't forget it. I had to do something. I immediately got up from the bed, searching for a dress.

I still remember when I had my first 'real' dream when I was a little girl. I dreamed of my friend's death. It was all even worse when next day it happened. I was crying for days. When I finally told my mother I had this vision or something, she told me never to tell anyone about it. It was a curse.

"People would kill you if they knew, Amarantha" she said "Don't pay any attention to it. There's nothing you can do about it. It's evil thing."

It was true that people from my village wouldn't understand me so I never told this to anyone; not even to my husband. It was my best kept secret and nothing more.

But this dream seemed to be important. My husband came home today, talking about another battle of the Empire and some powerful Dragon Riders. I didn't know much about it. Hell, I didn't even know anything about the king. I just knew he existed and that he was the one of the people you never want to meet. Why would I care about anything else than my family? The king lived far away from us and this didn't affect us at all. Well, some boys were taken away for the army but that wasn't my problem.

I saw the battlefield and I saw a young man on his knees. He looked so sad and…what was it? That strange expression on his face? I would say he felt betrayed. A dark figure stood above him with a shiny sword in his hand, pointed right at the neck of the man on the ground. I wanted to scream and make him stop, but I wasn't really there. There was this strange feeling that made me feel like I had to stop this from happening or everyone will be in danger. This wasn't one of those situations that I called faith; it was something that had to be stopped. I didn't know how to do it or what to do exactly but adrenaline was rushing through my veins. I knew where those two figures were; they were in woods near here even I didn't know how they got there. I just hoped I wasn't wrong about this. There was something else that bothered me; two spots on the sky in my dream. Were they dragons? That would actually explain how they got all the way here even the battle was far away. Maybe it wasn't even connected like I thought but still the feeling was taking over me completely.

When I was finally dressed, I turned around and stood there shocked. What the hell was I thinking? Leaving in the middle of the night for a reason that might not even be right? But this was it; my chance for a bit of adventure in my normal 'perfect' life how my friends would say. I looked at my husband who was sleeping deeply and thought what I should tell him. How could I explain this…this craziness I was about to do? I decided it's better not to tell anything because I had in mind to come back soon, before dawn. I just had to prove to myself that dream was wrong, right? I wasn't really sure about that one. I went to another room where our beautiful daughter was sleeping. I kissed her and she smiled; I hope she wasn't dreaming insane stuff like I did.

"I'll be right back, honey." I whispered to her and sneaked out of the house.

It was very dark outside. No one was on the street by this hour and I was glad it was like that. What would people think of me? It's better that they keep thinking about me as a normal happily married woman, just like other girls from our village; we all had luck to fall in love with our boys and not like some girls who became depressed and alone because no one was good enough for them. I got married two years ago and my daughter and my husband are the most important in my life. But then again, I was stupid enough to do what I was doing. I thought about getting back home when I was in the middle of my way because it seemed scary. It wasn't really smart to go to the woods in the middle of the night, especially for a woman who doesn't even know how to defend herself. And there might be wild animals. Oh crap, why didn't I think about wild animals before? But going back now wouldn't help either.

Suddenly I heard some weird sound coming from somewhere far on the sky. I couldn't really tell what was it but it couldn't have been a thunder. The sky was too clear for it and it was just another nice summer night. I shivered. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe I imagined all this. I couldn't really tell but the sound was creeping me out. Well, at least it helped me not to think about wild animals; I get distracted easily. I ran closer to the place I saw in my dream. I was actually running because I was afraid and I had a feeling that if I reach that place, everything else will go away. Stupid feelings. They always get me in trouble. Awesome.

But as I got closer I realized it was really happening! There were two men fighting on the meadow. It was too dark for me to see their faces but they were moving so fast that I had hard time even looking at them. The strange noise above grew louder and I looked up, noticing two big flying things in the sky. Great, dragons. Real dragons. I forgot how to move from the shock. This was better than my dream. I could feel my heart beating like crazy and my nervous breathing made me panic. What now? They didn't notice me. I just stood there and watched them do some weird things with light…strange colored light. I could swear it was coming from them, attacking them. Was that magic? Dragon Riders used magic, I think I heard someone saying it.

In that moment the image from my dream was right in front of my eyes; it was happening. For a second I was too shocked to react but then, before I could stop myself, I ran to them.

"No!" I screamed and the one who was holding the sword looked at me. His dark piercing eyes made me take a step back. In that moment I realized what I just did; I made the most horrible mistake of all. I tried to stop a Dragon Rider. I wished I could disappear; I was frightened. And it became clear to me…of course, it was too late. My brain was obviously too damaged from visions that I didn't realize I made it easy for the dark one to kill me. Why didn't I think about it before? What could I have possibly done to stop him? He was a Rider and I was…nothing. Even if he wasn't a Rider, he could still take me down. I was sure of it.

"This is not happening." I whispered and the dark one smiled wickedly. Did he hear me? Will he kill me? I didn't know what to do; this was just too much for me. Suddenly he lowered his sword and I realized that another boy…the one I desperately tried to save in my dream…was lying unconscious on the ground. Was he dead? I couldn't tell. Then I saw soldiers coming from another part of the woods to the meadow and they took the boy away with them.

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I was standing there, still like a statue. Fear literally paralyzed me. I couldn't even think clearly. Suddenly I realized there was no one there…I looked around surprised. Did this happen? I was shaking from fear again when I saw the dark one was standing near the trees. Was he watching me? Did he think my confusion is amusing? Was this all just an illusion? Was someone playing with me? Maybe some evil people who use magic made me feel like this. Well, my mother said my visions are evil so maybe I wasn't supposed to be so afraid. But I couldn't calm down.

Then instead of running away from danger like every normal smart human being, I had to walk right into it. I got closer to the dark one. He wasn't looking at me at all; he was staring somewhere in front of him…somewhere far where no one could reach him. I looked better at his face on the moonlight. He was beautiful but I heard once that all Dragon Riders start to look like elves. But he wasn't looking like an elf; he just looked like a good looking human…he was my age, I thought. He was distracting me completely from every other thought I had and I realized I was getting closer and closer to him.

Something caught my attention then; there were tears coming down his face. I was surprised. Was he the good guy? Was my mother right, so I was really trying to help the evil side? This all good-bad thing made me nervous.

"Why are you crying?" I asked quietly and suddenly he turned his head to look at me. He looked surprised to see me there. I think he thought I was gone with others…or I was so invisible that he didn't even notice I came. I sighed. It used to happen that people took no notice of me when I was in front of them, but never strangers. I raised my hand without thinking, trying to wipe away the tears but he caught my hand before I could reach his face. His grip on my arm was so strong that I gasped. The fear was back. Maybe he really was the bad guy. I closed my eyes, hoping it will all go away…hoping that I'll wake up in my bed, next to my loved one.

For a moment it seemed my wishes came true; but it wasn't my husband who was holding me in his arms. It was the stranger; the dark Rider. He held me so close to him that I could feel the warmth of his body and hear the beating of his heart. Or maybe it was my heart beating so loudly. Suddenly I felt his soft lips on mine and I couldn't stop it. I didn't want to stop it. His hands were all over my body and I didn't care. I closed my eyes when he ripped my dress…I let the passion take over me.

* * *

"Hey, wake up. We have to go." I heard his voice and opened my eyes. It looked like the dawn was here. Then I realized my head was on his chest so I got up fast like a snake just bit me.

"Wow, you can talk." I said sarcastically. This was the first time he actually said something to me. Shit, I forgot again the most important part of this; this wasn't just another dream. It was real. Suddenly his words came to me.

"We?" I looked at him in disbelief "What do you mean we?"

"You're coming with me. The king is waiting for us." he said. The look in his eyes seemed so distant and cold.

"No, I'm not coming with you. I have to go home!" I panicked, knowing that my husband will be upset when he sees I disappeared. I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't put him through that terror. Suddenly I remembered last night more clearly. What I did was unforgivable…complete craziness. I knew I couldn't go home. What would I tell him? I did the worst crime ever. I cheated on him. I deserved to die…not to see him ever again…not to see my daughter again. Tears appeared in my eyes. The guilt was overwhelming me.

"It's not bad like that." he suddenly said.

"What?" I looked at him confused. I had no idea what he meant.

"I didn't know you're married." he said "But it doesn't really matter, it was just to anger the king."

"What?" my eyes widened in shock. I don't remember saying anything. How did he know?

"I can read your thoughts." he said like it was a very ordinary thing.

"What?" I was even more shocked. He could read…oh, great! That really sucks. No privacy at all. And what's even worse, he just wanted to anger the king. Oh, that's crazy.

"Just calm down." he actually rolled his eyes. I think I was annoying him somehow. He was impatient. "Come with me."

"No, I can't." I whispered "I just…no."

"Well, you can't go home either." he said and smiled "Or you're going back to your husband and telling him what happened here? I'm sure you would be on your village's black list. He would take your daughter away from you. Maybe they would ask for you death."

"Who are you?" anger was taking over me. I didn't know where all this malice in his voice came from. It was just like he became another person.

"I'm Murtagh." he said "Now come with me. Thorn is waiting for us near."

"Thorn?" I raised an eyebrow. Who the hell was that?

"My dragon." he said.

"Dragons have names?" I asked before I could think better of it.

"Yes." he rolled his eyes. I was obviously annoying him with my ignorance. But then I realized he distracted me from the main point again. I just knew he was right; I couldn't go home. I knew if I went home, I would end up telling everything. I just wasn't good at lying. Keeping my dreams a secret was enough already but there I didn't have to lie or invent things; it was simply not mentioning it and all fine. I was sure I couldn't come up with a good story…and I couldn't have done that…lie to Dorian's eyes. And I couldn't know how he would react…but how can I think he would ever forgive me such a thing. I was a horrible person. I wasn't the woman he fell in love with. And who was this man, this damn Rider, to use me to anger the king? No, I let him. But how could that anger the king? This was driving me crazy; it couldn't be good.

"Ok." I finally said. I didn't know what else to do. Time will help me to come up with something, I hoped. "Let's go."


	2. Chapter 2

We reached the king's castle later that day. I must admit I don't have any idea what happened during the trip because I think I lost consciousness as soon as he took me on the back of a dragon! Maybe it's better I don't know what happened.

I looked around the castle. There was something strange in the air; it was making me shiver. The sky was covered with heavy clouds and grass and trees looked weird. Like they haven't seen the sun for a long, long time.

"Come!" Murtagh grabbed my arm roughly and pulled me with him inside the castle. It was huge and strangely cold and dark. I could swear that stone floor hasn't been cleaned for years! It was disgusting. And the smell…oh, well, how can anyone live like that?

Murtagh was taking me somewhere and I was confused because people, who apparently lived in the castle, looked at us with fear in their eyes. Suddenly, it occurred to me that something might happen to me. I panicked. Will the king hurt me? What will happen to me? There were tons of questions in my head. Murtagh probably heard my thoughts but he didn't say a thing to me.

"Hurry!" he suddenly turned around and yelled at me; tightening his grip on my arm. Why I had to think about it? I prefer when he's not talking to me actually. But I didn't understand why I had to hurry. Are we going to miss something? Impossible.

He took me to the biggest room of the whole castle, throne room. He let go of my arm. Finally. I was sure I'll have a bruise there in the next few hours. For a moment I was just standing in the middle of the room and looking at the shiny expensive things the king had there. I've never seen something like that before. But maybe people who lived in town had things like that. I wouldn't know.

It took me a moment to realize someone was staring at me. I turned to look at the person…I froze; the king was staring at me. Oh, great! I didn't know what to say or what to do. My mind was almost blank. I just panicked. I could feel warmth coming into my cheeks; this was officially the most horrible moment of my life.

"My lord." I blurted and bowed awkwardly. I so didn't know what to do. No one ever told me how to act in these situations. I wasn't supposed to meet the king.

"Amarantha." he said; his voice sounded strangely sweet and nice. But he for sure didn't look like that. His eyes were very dark and his appearance was scaring me. Oh, did he just say my name? I was shocked for a moment but then I remembered he probably read my mind…oh, no! Now he knows how he looks to me! I'm dead.

"I'm glad you are here." he smiled. I stared at him. Yes, it is impolite to stare, especially to stare at the king! But I didn't know what I was doing. I was too confused and shocked to control what I was doing. Wait, did he say _glad_?

"Don't be afraid of me." he said "I won't hurt you."

Was I supposed to say something? I wanted to say something but the words didn't come out. My mind was a mess; I wonder what he saw from all of that.

"Do you know why you are here?" he asked, getting closer to me. I didn't move.

"No, my lord." I answered quietly, looking at the floor. That was a stupid question; he probably knew I didn't know a thing. I guess he wanted to hear me say something.

"You're here because I think you could be helpful here." he said. I bit my lip not to laugh or cry. Me? Helpful? He's got a wrong person then. What could I do? People usually tell me to stay away from whatever they are doing. Just to make sure I don't mess something up.

"I don't know how I could help, my lord." I said. I didn't have a reason to lie.

"You're wrong." he smiled "Your visions…are quite interesting."

My visions? Oh, my curse is interesting to the king? I was sure it was my end; he would find out my visions are evil and kill me.

"You have to do it now." he suddenly said and his eyes shined dangerously.

"What?" I stared at him in disbelief and then it came to me who I was talking to "I…I can't, my lord."

"Oh, that's too bad. But you'll have to." he laughed. This time he didn't sound so nice. Anyway, I had to stop thinking about him because it could just anger him. Oh, how I hated people who can steal your thoughts!

"I…it's just…" I didn't know what to say. Was it possible to control these things? Great, then I probably failed in that too. Tears appeared in my eyes. It was hard to breathe or to say anything; it felt like someone was choking me. But it was just pure fear.

"You're not the only one who managed to predict correctly future events…but you're one of the rare who lets me see everything." the king said "You're just what I need."

There were others like me? I was shocked. Well, not really shocked by the fact there were others but that he wanted me here just because I'm defenseless in front of him. I couldn't hide anything from him. It would be so easy for him to find out everything.

"She can't do it!" suddenly yelled Murtagh who was quietly standing in the shadow most of the time "Let her go!"

"How dare you?" the king looked furious and said something I couldn't understand. Murtagh was suddenly drawn closer to the king and he fell down to his knees. I didn't know how that happened, but I assumed the king was using magic.

"Look at me!" the king yelled at Murtagh who was staring at the floor. Murtagh didn't move and the king got even more furious. I gasped when the king took his sword and pointed it at Murtagh's neck, forcing him to look up.

"Oh, so you decided to spend a night with her instead of coming immediately like I ordered you? And now you even dare to disrespect me!" the king said. Murtagh just smiled.

I was surprised by what was going on. So how did the king know I was there? How did he actually find out about me?

"He saw you, so I saw you too." the king suddenly turned to look at me. I bit my lip nervously. I seriously had to stop thinking! But how to do that? It was impossible…like trying to stop breathing.

"My lord!" I heard myself saying it and immediately regretted it. I just wanted to stop the king from doing something to Murtagh so at least I caught his attention.

"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow, waiting for me to say something.

"My lord, I…I really can't control my visions. They just happen…" my voice sounded so small and shaky.

"Oh, you can! You just have to try!" the king said and I saw his arm move a bit in rage.

"No!" I whispered nervously when I realized the sword cut Murtagh's neck a bit. I really didn't want anything to happen to him. I wasn't sure why, but…I guess I liked him.

"Ah!" the king smiled like he just discovered something exciting. He looked at me, then at Murtagh and then back at me. That was not good.

"Maybe you need a bit of stimulation to start using your brain!" the king laughed and threw away his sword. The sound of steel hitting the floor made me flinch. Then he looked at Murtagh and said something in some weird language. In that moment Murtagh closed his eyes and looked like he was in pain. I didn't know what was going on; I didn't know what to do. I took a deep breath but it just made me more nervous.

"My lord, please! I can't…" I cried. I was desperate. The king stopped and looked at me. I could say he enjoyed this.

"I can see this is not enough scenic for you." the king said coldly "Oh, well, then I'll have to make it better!"

I closed my eyes for a second and opened them again, but the horrible scene didn't go away. The king was whispering something and I screamed when Murtagh was thrown across the room and hit the wall.

"Please, please stop!" I couldn't stop crying. Tears were falling down my cheeks like a river; I could barely see what was going on. I didn't want to see anything but the king just smiled again. It was just surprising to me that so cruel person existed…and that he was the king!

"Oh, I can't stop until you get a vision." the king smiled cruelly. He walked closer to Murtagh who was lying on the floor and used magic again. Murtagh closed his eyes as the blood came out of his mouth.

"No…" it was all I managed to say. Blood. Too much blood. I felt dizzy; I couldn't take it anymore. Darkness overwhelmed me.

* * *

I opened my eyes in panic. What happened? Where was I? Once again I hoped it was just a dream and that I'll see my husband next to me. But I was wrong again. I was in a room I've never seen before.

It was very dark here; there was just one torch lightening the stone walls. I was lying on the bed and I tried to get up but that turned out to be harder than I expected. My whole body ached. Then I saw someone standing next to the bed. I gasped.

"Hey, you're finally awake." Murtagh got closer to me. I stared at him, looking for any kind of proof that what happened was real. But there wasn't anything. No bruises, no blood. I took a deep breath. It was better that there wasn't any blood because I didn't feel like loosing consciousness again.

"What…?" I wasn't even sure what to ask. I was sitting up in the bed and realized the air was so cold that I shivered.

"It happened." it was easier for him to answer my question that it was for me to actually ask it.

"Oh. Are you…?" I looked at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine." he said and his face darkened. I wasn't the only one who preferred not to remember what happened.

"Where is the king?" I asked nervously. I didn't want him close to me again.

"He's in the throne room. As always." Murtagh sighed.

"Oh, good." I said "Did he realize I can't control my visions? Will he let me go?"

"Well, he won't let you go." he actually smiled. I looked at him in shock. Was he mad at me because of what happened?

"Why?" I felt like crying again. My husband, my love…my daughter! Will I ever see them again? What are they thinking about me? Do they think I left them?

"You are free to go, actually. But if you go, your family will die." he said.

"What? Don't you dare to do something to them! I'll kill you!" I yelled furiously. I would never let anyone hurt them. Never.

"Yeah, right." he laughed "You're lucky your daughter didn't inherit your gift."

"How…how do you know?" I was shocked.

"We checked." he said and I froze "Don't worry. They're both fine…Galbatorix needs them to control you. They don't know a thing."

"No." I whispered and tears ran down my cheeks. I couldn't believe the king sent someone to check my family. Someone touched my daughter! They were in danger! They still are and it's all because of me! Especially when I don't do what king wants me to...

"However, you husband thinks you were kidnapped so he won't stop looking for you…" he said "The rest of your village thinks you ran away with your lover."

I could see him smiling as he said that. I glared at him angrily. This wasn't even a bit funny.

"He'll never find you." he suddenly said, answering my hopes that my love will find me and save me.

"How do you know?" I yelled in frustration. If anyone could find me now, it would be him. I was sure of it. He loved me. He's going to save me. I wanted to see him again, kiss him again…before I tell him…

"Do you know how far we are from your village? He doesn't have a clue where you left. Even if he goes to look for you, he'll need years." Murtagh said bitterly "Accept it. No one is going to save you! Not even the ones you trust."

From the way he said it, I could tell he was thinking on something else. I was sure he didn't want to be here either. So who failed to save him from here? I stared at him for a second, thinking.

Dorian, if you are looking for me…I hope you don't find me. You would never forgive me for what I've done. There's nothing I would like more than to see you and Elisabeth, but that can't happen. You would hate me forever…but I will still hope. Forgive me, my love.


	3. Chapter 3

Days were passing by so fast I lost the count. I didn't see the king again, but Murtagh told me that he is waiting for me to have a vision. Apparently, he had some other things to do so he decided to see how I'm doing without pressure.

Life in this castle was horrible. It wasn't just boring; it was freaking me out. I tried to talk to one of the servants and the girl just stared at me like I'm some kind of monster. What was wrong with me?

That day I looked for a decent mirror but I couldn't find it. I entered some small room; it was dark and everything was covered with dust. A lot of dust. No one entered here for ages, I was sure. There was a big shelf full of some old books and, in another corner, almost broken chair and small table.

I noticed something on the floor and went closer to see what it was.

"A mirror?" I said to myself. It surprised me to see a thing like that covered with dust and thrown away like something worthless; it was beautiful and I looked at it better. Suddenly I could see a person in it but that woman wasn't me.

I stared at it for a moment. Who was that? Was that a magic mirror? I looked away from it but the image of that beautiful blond woman stayed in front of my eyes. Finally, I noticed something in the corner next to the shelf. A real mirror!

I stood in front of it in a second, but it only shocked me. That wasn't a mirror! Again magic? It can't be! That woman is not me…oh. I looked closer. Great. It was my reflection!

My skin looked so weirdly pale like never before. Well, I haven't seen the sun here for weeks! That would explain it. My dark brown long hair was a mess; it looked like I haven't combed it for days!

But there was something else that bothered me. My eyes. Well, better said, those purple circles around them. This place was literally killing me! I changed my mind about that servant girl; she wasn't crazy. I really looked like a monster.

I sighed and fixed a bit the ugly grey dress I was wearing. There just wasn't anything else for me to wear since I didn't have my own clothes with me. Servants' clothes was just ugly. I wished I had at least one normal dress.

"We can take care of that." I jumped and turned around in a second, only to see Murtagh standing at the door. I should have known it was him; he did that a lot…appeared out of nowhere and got into my mind.

"Stop doing that!" I said, frustrated and took a deep breath to try to calm down. My heart was beating like crazy.

"Sorry." he smiled and entered the room, looking around "What are you doing here?"

"Mirror." I sighed and pointed at the damn thing.

"Not happy?" he laughed. The guy just loved to be in my mind, what else can I say?

"Huh, you can see me, right?" I glared at him.

"Come on, you look good." he said "If you want a dress, I can get it for you."

"You're a liar." I said coldly and then thought about the dress "You can get me a dress?"

"Sure." he said "Come with me."

We left the room immediately as he took my hand and led me through the halls. I wanted to ask him about the magical mirror but I guess I forgot.

* * *

That night I woke up covered with sweat. My body was shaking and my heart was racing too fast. The dream. Vision. I wasn't sure what it was. Suddenly, tears were streaming down my face. My soft cries were the only thing that could be heard in the middle of the quiet night.

The dream appeared in front of my eyes again. It didn't want to let me go. It was way too real. That woman…from the mirror…she was going somewhere. I guessed she was nervous because I could feel it too. It was a strange feeling.

She smiled when she saw a man standing in the shadow. I had no idea who that was. They kissed and I heard a voice saying: "Lovers, traitors!" Then dark covered my eyes and I couldn't do anything to see what is happening.

I was frightened. I didn't know what this all meant. It looked like a vision, but it didn't look like future. I was confused; something was wrong. I closed my eyes, trying to forget. I dreamed it probably because I betrayed my husband. It had to be just a dream; something my mind made up.

I felt helpless and left the room. I walked down the hall, straight to Murtagh's room. I opened the door as quietly as I could; It looked like he was sleeping. Of course, he was! I'm the only freak who wakes up in the middle of the night, having crazy thoughts!

I got closer to his bed, looking at him. I didn't really know what I was doing. I almost screamed as he jumped out of the bed, grabbed my arm and pointed his sword at me.

"Oh, it's just you." he let go of me and put the sword away. I just stood there for some moments, totally shocked. I wasn't even sure what happened. My mind went blank.

"How did you…?" I was trying to ask "I thought you were sleeping."

"I was." he said "Until you came."

"Oh." I said "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up…I thought I was quiet enough…"

"What were you trying to do? Spy on me while I'm sleeping?" he looked at me curiously.

"No!" I stared at him in disbelief. This was more than embarrassing situation. Not to mention that I completely forgot why I was here "I…I don't know. Give me a second."

"Oh, ok. Did I scare you?" he smiled.

"Umm, yeah." I admitted "But I still don't get it how did you do that! If someone came into my room, I probably wouldn't know…I mean, not unless that person touched me or something…and if someone woke me up, it would take me few minutes to react."

"That's nice to know." he laughed. Great, I was definitely talking too much!

"Huh." I said quietly, trying hard to remember what I wanted actually "Can you do that because you're a Dragon Rider?"

"No." he smiled bitterly "Just an old habit."

"Oh." I blinked. Habit? No way. He must be lying. Nothing could wake me up… Wait, wake me up…oh, right! The dream!

"What dream?" Murtagh asked suspiciously "You had a vision?"

"I don't know." I said "I'm not sure. It looked like it…but maybe it was just a normal dream. But the most vivid dream I've ever had. I dreamed the woman from that mirror…"

"What woman?" he was surprised.

"Umm…" I hesitated. Was I supposed to see that? Ah, whatever. "I saw a magical mirror in that room. Then I dreamed her…"

"You saw a magic mirror?" he looked at me like I was crazy.

"Yeah?" I wasn't sure anymore what was going on. Damn, he managed to confuse me again.

"Why don't you show me?" he suggested.

"Oh, right." I said and we went again to that small room.

"You're crazy." he said when we saw our reflections in that mirror. It looked just like normal mirror. I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. I could swear I saw the woman, but she just vanished.

"Don't you see it in my mind?" I tried to imagine it, but I couldn't concentrate.

"Your dream is blurry. Try to remember how the woman looked like." he said.

"Ok. But I have no idea who she is! I have no idea what this means." I was nervous. This was probably stupid. It was just a dream and Murtagh didn't have to know how I felt about betraying my husband. The picture of the woman appeared in my mind again.

"I know who she is." he frowned "How did you find out about her?"

"I told you I saw…" I was confused. He knew that woman? Was she here somewhere?

"No." he said quietly "She's not here. Did you ever had visions about past?"

"No. I don't remember any…" I said "But will you tell me who she is?"

"My mother." he said and I stared at him in disbelief.

"What?" the dream passed in front of my eyes again "No way!"

"That's impossible." he frowned "That can't be! I know who the man you dreamed is! How did you find out about him?"

"Umm…" I got scared. He was staring at me like I somehow knew everything.

"Tell me!" he yelled and I took a step back. Will he attack me?

"I swear I know nothing about this!" I cried "I had a vision of them like I had of you! I've never seen you before!"

"Then it means something!" he said and looked at me accusingly "You have to know what it means!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? Don't you see it?" It was almost impossible that he doesn't believe me. He was probably shocked as much as I was…actually more; I was the one who didn't know these people. And if I felt like I did…how did he feel?

I looked at him and then he rolled his eyes and went somewhere. I realized what happened; we woke up the king! If he actually slept at all…the king was definitely creeping me out.

* * *

"The king is pleased with your discovery." Murtagh came to my room later that day. I had no idea what he's been doing that day.

"Oh." I didn't know what else to say. So he really did go to see the king and my vision meant something.

"But there is something else I have to tell you…" he actually locked the door with magic and I got nervous.

"What?" I asked "The king doesn't need me anymore?"

"Not that." he said.

"Good." I sighed in relief. I wasn't going to die. That was a positive thing.

"Your husband…" he said and I shivered involuntary.

"What about him?" I almost chocked with tears I felt coming. Why I always had to think first on the worst possibility?

"He's looking for you." said Murtagh "He believes someone from the Empire took you away. I think he's coming here."

"What?" I was shocked "How do you know? Where is he?"

"He probably won't get here in months…if he ever gets here…" said Murtagh "We used magic, how did you think we saw him?"

"Huh." I got angry on Murtagh. He definitely didn't know my husband. How did he dare to doubt Dorian won't get here?!

I knew he'll know where I was. Someone probably heard soldiers were near the village…and he thought they took me with them.

"He won't get here. Trust me." Murtagh almost laughed.

"You don't know him!" I yelled "Besides, I'll be the first one to know if something is going to happen."

"Don't be so sure. You can't even control your visions." he said coldly.

"Wait, where is my daughter?" I panicked "She's not with him, is she?"

"She's fine." said Murtagh "She's with her grandparents."

"He left _my_ daughter with _his_ mother?" I was furious. What was he thinking? That woman wasn't the person I would leave my daughter with.

"Oh, come on! Do you think she would be safer here?" Murtagh smiled "Because I can go to your village and bring her here."

"No! Are you out of your mind?" I yelled. As long as she was safe, nothing else mattered. I stayed here because of her; I didn't want to give the king a reason to hurt her.

"Then stop being stupid!" he said coldly "No one is going to save you! No one!"

"You're making me sick!" I said "I have hope. I know this looks like impossible situation…and I know I maybe won't see my family again and maybe that's better…but part of me still hopes…"

"Do whatever you want." he rolled his eyes "You're too stupid to see what's going on."

"Fine!" I said "But tell me first what is it exactly that I discovered in my vision?"

"Something about me and Eragon." he said "I can't tell you."

"Oh." I said and sat on the bed. I just wanted Murtagh to leave…He looked at me before he unlocked the door.

"Don't tell this to anyone." he said and left. I sighed. Who I would tell? To the servants? Oh, yeah, those people really _love_ me!


	4. Chapter 4

Days, weeks, months, years…how long has it been since I last saw my daughter…I wasn't even sure anymore. My days in Galbatorix's castle seemed like eternity. Even Murtagh wasn't with me often; he had some things to do for the king elsewhere.

I didn't care anymore what was going on in the Empire. War or no war, what difference did it make to me? Life didn't make sense anymore. If you are not with your family, what do you live for?

I knew my anxiety was becoming more and more serious when I woke up in the middle of the night. Typical for visions. Why couldn't they come during the day? I felt so exhausted but joy overwhelmed me. I saw _him._

My love, my dear husband! He was coming here! I could see him looking at the castle in the distance. I didn't know how much longer it will take him to reach this damned place, but it didn't look so hopeless. I wanted to see him!

Murtagh returned from his task the next day. I didn't want to tell him anything and I hoped no one else will notice Dorian is coming. By now everyone forgot about him. And why would they worry about him anyway? He was no threat for them. I was careful not to think about him when Murtagh was around.

One night I woke up in panic. I felt someone's hand under my nightgown. I gasped and opened my eyes. It was Murtagh. Suddenly, he started to kiss me and I didn't know what to do. My mind was telling me to push him away but my body didn't listen to it.

"No!" I finally managed to move away from him a bit.

"Why not?" he looked at me. I didn't say anything and he just continued to kiss me.

"Wait!" I said "There's something I have to tell you."

"What?" he played with my hair.

"I had a vision of my husband. He's coming here soon." I said.

"And?" he asked coldly.

"I can't…" I whispered but when he kissed me again, I kissed him back.

"Don't be afraid. I won't tell him…" he whispered into my ear and then kissed my neck.

"I know but…I'll have to." I couldn't believe I was discussing this with him. I couldn't believe I even had to try to convince myself this is wrong! What was my problem?

"Then tell him…" he whispered "Tell him I forced you. I don't mind."

"No…" I said as he tried to rip my nightgown.

"Do you want me to stop?" he looked at me carefully. What was he trying to get with that question?

"No." I managed to surprise myself with that answer. I already did a mistake so what difference does it make…once, twice…I'm still a horrible person, but a happy person.

In that moment I've made my decision; I'll do whatever makes me happy because no one really knows what's going to happen. Maybe my hopes are wrong, but we'll see…until then…oh, well.

* * *

I woke up next morning, hoping that last night didn't happen. For a second I doubted my decision but then I realized Murtagh was lying next to me and looking at me. He smiled when he saw the shock on my face; I actually thought he'll leave before I wake up.

"Hey." I said "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You talked in your sleep." he smiled.

"What? Damn!" this was definitely one of the worst things that could have happened.

"Don't worry. You didn't say anything obscene." he laughed.

"Oh, that's nice." I rolled my eyes "Now tell me…why you're here anyway? Trying to anger the king again?"

"Maybe." he looked away. Great. He again had a reason for spending a night with me.

"Well, now you hurt my feelings!" I sat up in the bed and crossed my arms "That's not nice."

"You actually got smarter." he said.

"I did?" I raised an eyebrow "How come?"

"You realized your hopes were stupid and you decided to live the life that's in front of you." he said "That's a good thing."

"Wait." I looked at him suspiciously "You came here last night because you wanted me to change my mind about this whole thing?"

"So what? I succeeded." he said "I need you in perfect condition, not depressed or feeling guilty."

"What for?" I asked "I bet it's not because you were worried about me."

"I won't lie to you." he said "I'm hoping you'll get a vision…true vision about the future…an idea how to get us out of here!"

"You mean, how to get _you_ out of here?" I got a bit upset. What was he trying to do? Did he think I'll get a vision if he gets closer to me?

"Well, yeah…but I think it's more likely you'll get a vision if you care…or you're interested in it." he said "It's really stupid you can't control it…but you do actually…just unconsciously."

"Huh? And after last night I'm more interested in you?" I thought he was crazy.

"You are. You decided you won't care so much about your husband anymore." he said "Now you have time for other things."

"Oh, really? I can dream about you all the time?" I got up from the bed and started to put on my dress "I think you should leave."

"Fine." he got up from the bed and I looked at him. Better said, I stared at the scar on his back.

"Wait." I said and got closer to him "I never really paid attention to…that huge scar on your back."

"Good thing you didn't." he said and wanted to turn around but I stopped him. I had a strange feeling. It was like with the mirror; I had to look at it better. I just had to. I placed my hand on it but Murtagh moved away from me so fast that I could see this situation was very uncomfortable for him.

"Sorry." I whispered as he put on his shirt "How did you get it actually?"

He didn't say anything but I felt images coming to my head. I gasped. He didn't want to talk with me about it, but he showed it…just as he remembered it.

"Don't say anything." he said as I opened my mouth to say something, even I didn't know what possibly I could say.

"I…" I tried to say.

"Don't!" he was upset.

"But…" he probably knew what I was about to ask; however, that didn't stop me "Wait, if that man you showed me is your father…and the woman I dreamed is your mother…then how come I dreamed another man kissing her? That's what you didn't want to tell me, isn't it?"

"Just shut up, okay?" he looked at me like he's going to kill me and that was actually more than enough to stop me from talking. He looked at me again before he left the room.

So that was it; his mother had an affair with someone. Maybe I would judge her if I hadn't done it myself. But were her reasons same as mine? Was she looking for a bit of adventure or to fill that loneliness in her heart?

These were my reasons. I've never been alone in my whole life…there was always someone around me who loved me and cared about me. But when I got to this castle, I felt nothing but loneliness…emptiness…unless _he_'s around.

It amazes me how I decided to care less about my husband when he's getting closer here. Suddenly it became less interesting…less interesting than Murtagh. Or did maybe Murtagh succeeded in making me believe no one will come to save me after so long…that they'll kill my husband when he comes here...and that would hurt me even more...was I preparing for his death? Trying to make it easier?

I sighed. I was thinking too much and that wasn't good. I didn't feel like being confused again.

* * *

Two nights later I had a dream or maybe a vision. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen, even considering all my weird dreams.

I saw myself walking through the halls of some strange castle. It was very dark and I followed the light coming from the end of one of the halls. There was something strange in the air, like a veil or mist.

When I reached the light, I found myself standing in one big room. I looked around. It didn't seem familiar to me. It was a really nice room; it had two large bookshelves, bed in the middle, two chairs and a desk in another corner and oh, a mirror! Yeah, that particular mirror.

"_Hello, Amarantha._" someone said behind my back and I turned around in panic. It was her! The woman I dreamed before! Murtagh's mother! I was astonished. She looked even more beautiful than before and she wore a long blue dress full of jewelry and other shiny things.

"_Don't be afraid. I'm Selena._" she said in a sweet voice. I was probably staring at her with my mouth opened because she seemed to be waiting for me to calm down.

"_I'm dreaming._" I said more to myself than to her.

"_You are._" she smiled "_But I have to talk to you…_"

"_You have to talk with _me?" I was surprised. The dream seemed even more real every moment.

"_I want you to stay away from Murtagh._" she said. I bit my lip not to laugh. Was that my conscience talking through the image of that beautiful woman? It had to be some crazy invention of my mind. There was just no normal explanation.

"_Why_?" I asked "_Is it because I'm married? Or is it because what I've done is inexcusable?_"

"_Don't be silly._" she smiled "_It's not about your husband. Who cares about him anyway? It's something else I'm talking about…_"

"_I don't understand._" I said. What was she talking about?

"_When your husband comes to save you…don't tell him anything and leave with him! It's not important what he thinks or do you still love him._" she said urgently "_You have to leave. Galbatorix will let you go if you show him some crazy dream and tell him your visions don't work right. No one will be able to see this dream in your mind…danger…your child. _"

I couldn't hear anymore what she was saying. Her body became transparent and soon everything disappeared. I opened my eyes completely shocked. Danger? My child? Will something happen to my daughter? Is that why I'm supposed to leave?

I had thousands of thoughts in my head when suddenly someone opened the door of my room. I looked in that direction and saw Murtagh.

"Are you alright?" he looked worried "You were screaming."

"What?" I looked at him in disbelief. I didn't remember any screaming. But suddenly I couldn't remember anything that had happened before Murtagh came into my room. I just remembered going to the bed, and that's it.

"You don't know why you were screaming?" he seemed to be even more surprised "Did you have a vision?"

"I…I don't know." I said "I don't remember anything."

"Did you have a nightmare?" he asked.

"I don't think so." I shrugged "Or at least I don't remember it."

"Oh. I thought you were in danger or something…" he said "…but I see you're fine. I just hope Galbatorix didn't hear you."

"Umm, yeah…that wouldn't be good, right?" I thought about the king for a second. He would probably get angry if he knew about this. It bothered me that I didn't remember anything! What happened?

"Well, since you're okay…" he looked at me and wanted to leave.

"Wait." I said "Could you stay with me, please? In case…"

"Yeah, sure." he said, coming closer to me and putting his arms around me. It felt wrong for some reason, but I couldn't really tell what it was. There was this strange feeling in my chest, like something bad is going to happen and it made me nervous.

However, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I'll remember it if it was really something important.

* * *

**Author's note: **Amarantha's relationships could be similar to Selena's but it's more complex than that. It's just not the same situation.


	5. Chapter 5

"For some reason touching your skin makes me nervous." I looked at Murtagh who was lying on the bed next to me. It was early morning and I didn't feel like getting up. I still couldn't remember anything from the last night. Maybe I lost my _gift._

"Then why is your hand on my chest?" he smiled "Why did you ask me to stay?"

"I wanted you to stay." I said "I need you here."

"Do you need something else, princess?" he laughed.

"Princess?" I giggled "That would make me king's daughter…eww!"

"Not necessarily." he said "You could be the princess of some far fantasy land…because that's what I see in your head."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Your idea of perfect life is like a fantasy…unreal, impossible." he said "You're looking for something special…and you've never told that to anyone."

"Oh, well. My grandma used to tell me stories when I was little…one picture stayed in my mind forever." I said "Of course I still remember it but I don't believe it can come true. I'm not a child anymore."

"You're wrong." he smiled "You still hope that story is true. You hope there is a place somewhere which has everything you want."

"Umm, how is it possible you know more about me than I do?" I frowned "You don't know what you're talking about! My mind is probably not working right so you see wrong things!"

"Whatever you say." he said "You could tell me more about yourself so I don't have to read your mind."

"Hey!" I said "Don't read my mind! Just ask!"

"Ok. Do you love your daughter?" he looked into my eyes.

"Yes." I whispered "Why do you ask me that?"

"You don't think much of her…I mean, you do sometimes but only when something reminds you on her." he said.

"The only reason I don't think about her is because I would die of anxiety…" tears came to my eyes "Don't you know how it feels? Just to be away from her and think about it breaks my heart!"

"Well, you're really good at not thinking on her then." he shrugged.

"What are you trying to say?" I got upset "Are you trying to say I don't love her enough?"

"Would you leave her even if you knew she was in danger?" he looked at me "Would you leave her under any circumstances?"

"What?" I was confused "Leave her where? What are you talking about?"

"If you can manage not to think about her…could you live without her after some time? Would you forget her?" he asked.

"No! I could never do that! I will see her again and I'll never let anything happen to her!" I yelled. Something felt familiar about the word danger and my daughter, but why I couldn't remember what was it?

"Fine." he looked away from me.

"You don't have a child so you don't know how it is." I said quietly "A mother would never let anything happen to her child."

"Right." he sighed.

"Now I feel like crying because of you!" I said "Please, don't make this worse for me…I'm here only because something could happen to my daughter if I leave…I do _enjoy_ part of being here so maybe it's not all for her…but still, you can't say I don't love her!"

"What part?" he smiled suddenly "This part right now?"

"Yes." I said as he gently kissed my neck.

"That's not nice actually…for others…" he laughed.

* * *

More days passed by and I didn't feel good. I had dreams at night but when I woke up, I couldn't remember a thing. It was so weird. Murtagh told me I had huge gaps in my memory. I was sure Galbatorix didn't like that.

"He's here." Murtagh came to my room one night; his face expressionless.

"Who's here?" I asked.

"Your husband." he said coldly.

"What?" I was shocked "He's what?"

"He was actually brave enough to come in front of the castle." Murtagh said "He says he won't leave without you. I ordered the guards not to kill him. But you should go talk to the king."

"Oh." I didn't know what to do. I finally decided to listen to Murtagh and talk to the king. It was the only option and it felt right.

* * *

"What do you want?" the king wasn't in the mood. I bit my lip and took a deep breath; this was the worst possible day for Dorian to come.

"My Lord." I bowed "I think you no longer need me. My visions don't work right anymore and…I would like to leave the castle."

"Oh, really?" he frowned. For a moment there was just silence. He was probably checking my mind for something. After he confirmed that what I'd been saying was true, he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. You can go." he said indifferently.

"Thank you, my Lord." I said and almost ran out of the throne room. I was almost out of the castle when Murtagh caught my arm.

"Wait." he said coldly "There's no need to hurry."

"What? Let go of me!" I said "I'm free to go!"

"Yes, you are." he said as we walked closer and closer to my husband. I felt different emotions mix in me. I didn't know was it excitement, anxiety, happiness, sadness or whatever; I still couldn't feel it was really happening! Was I dreaming?

"Dorian!" I managed to break free of Murtagh's grip and ran to hug my husband. I almost jumped into his arms. My husband looked just the same, but his clothes were all dirty and ripped.

"Amarantha." he kissed me passionately.

"You came." I whispered. I was still shocked, overwhelmed.

"Of course I came." he said "I would do anything for you!"

"Can I go now?" I looked at Murtagh who just frowned.

"If you want." he looked at me; his look was so intense that he almost made me doubt my decision.

"Of course she wants!" Dorian didn't understand.

"I asked _her_." Murtagh looked at him angrily.

"You…!" Dorian's temper was about to get him in trouble again. I had to stop it.

"Wait!" I pulled my husband's arm and whispered "He's a Dragon Rider."

"Oh." I was glad he recognized the danger.

"I'm going now." I looked at Murtagh. I almost hoped he'll try to stop me, but he didn't say a thing. He just looked at me, pressed his lips together like he is trying to control himself, and went back to the castle.

"Oh, my love! Come with me! Elisabeth is waiting for you!" Dorian kissed me again and we started our journey back home.

* * *

It took Dorian months to find me, especially when he didn't know where I went and how to get to the castle. He told me how people had showed him wrong ways to go, so he got lost. However, he's never lost hope he'll find me.

I was glad it took us less time to reach home. I thought again I was dreaming when I took Elisabeth in my arms! She had grown so much! I felt like the happiest person in the world.

First few days family and friends came to see me and Dorian's story of how he saved me became one of the most popular in my village. It really seemed like a perfect romantic story and Dorian was bragging about it. But no one knew the truth; there was more of it.

One night when all guests left and Elisabeth was asleep, I was lying in the bed and thinking. Dorian put his arm around me and I moved away a bit.

"What's wrong, honey?" he was worried.

"Everything's fine." I said.

"You don't let me touch you." he said "I thought you need some time to recover, but…"

"That's not true." I said "I'm just as I always was."

"No, you're not." he said "I can see the difference."

"Huh." I didn't know what to say. Was I really acting differently? I wasn't sure.

"What did they do to you there?" he asked "Why did they take you away? You said you'll tell me when you're ready…"

"They took me away because they thought I can help them." I said "Later they realized they were wrong and you came…"

"I saw _him_ looking at you! Did he do something to you? Tell me!" Dorian said desperately.

"I don't want to talk about it!" my head was spinning. I got up from the bed and ran out of the room. I needed some fresh air; I felt like choking. In the moment when Dorian reached me, I threw up.

"Amarantha! Are you alright?" Dorian asked "I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry I upset you!"

"It's not your fault." I sighed.

"He _touched_ you, didn't he?" Dorian got angry "Damn Dragon Rider! I should have come earlier! I'm sorry, honey!"

"He…" I wanted to lie, but when I saw Dorian's worried face I whispered "I slept with him."

"I knew it!" he was furious "How did he dare? I'm going to kill him! I don't care he's a Dragon Rider! I'll kill him!"

"Dorian, please." my whole body felt weak.

"How dares he touch my wife!" Dorian was still upset and I couldn't blame him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and tears ran down my cheeks.

"No, no, honey. It's not your fault." Dorian kissed my forehead "That evil man didn't have any right…just because he's a Dragon Rider he thinks he can…"

"Don't, please." I cried. This was too much for me.

"I've heard about that _Morzan's son_ while traveling!" Dorian kept talking "I could kill him right now with my own hands!"

"Shut up!" I suddenly yelled through tears "You can't do anything against him and there is no need for saying all that! It won't help!"

"Oh, honey! What did that evil…?" Dorian hugged me "I understand you don't want to talk about it!"

"He's not evil!" I pushed Dorian away from me. Tears were still streaming down my face but I felt angry for some reason.

"How can you say that after all he did to you?" Dorian was confused.

"Leave me alone." I said. He was making me sick. I didn't want to think. Everything seemed so wrong. My family was here and that was making me happy, but I didn't want Dorian to touch me…I wanted Murtagh here. I actually missed him and that scared me.

"Amarantha!" Dorian yelled after me as I ran out of the house into the rain.

I ran and ran; it didn't matter to me that I was all wet. I had no idea from where I got strength to run because I felt so weak like never before. Actually, I was sure that if I stopped, I would drop down to the ground...or maybe not.

There was some strange force pulling me forward. But where? I had no idea where I was going! My thoughts were a mess, but when they weren't? I was trying to clear my mind, but it was pointless.

Suddenly I stopped running. I felt like a ghost. My dress was wet; my face covered in tears. I looked in front of me and all I saw was darkness.

"A cliff." I smiled to myself. I took a step forward; my mind was full of images. Things that had happened passed in front of my eyes in a second. I just knew I wanted it to stop; I didn't want to think about anything. I just wanted to be happy.

I closed my eyes and shivered. I stood there, one step away from the abyss. In that moment I was the most selfish person in the world.

I made that step.


	6. Chapter 6

Emptiness. Beautiful emptiness of my mind, but it lasted only a second. Then I realized what was going on. Elisabeth! No! I wanted to go back. I wanted to stop the time.

But I was just falling down, feeling cold air and rain on my face. That horrible feeling in my stomach made me scream…but I couldn't scream. My eyes were tightly closed.

Suddenly I hit something hard and stopped falling. Was I dead? The ground was still moving under me and I shivered when I realized someone was holding me.

I opened my eyes and saw _him_. Murtagh. I smiled stupidly. Did his image follow me even into death?

"You're still alive." he whispered into my ear.

"Oh." I gasped "Oh, thank you!"

"I thought you wanted to die." he smiled.

"I thought that too…" I whispered "But I was wrong…terribly wrong."

"Good then." he said.

"Wait. What are you doing here?" I asked suspiciously "Aren't you supposed to be miles away?"

"Yeah…" he said "I saw you're not feeling well these days so I…I came."

"You saw?" I asked. How could he see me? Was he here all the time?

"Magic." he smiled "I invoked you. It's easy because you don't have anything to protect you from being found."

"Oh." I said. That was good…wait, no it wasn't! He was able to watch me all the time? Watching every step I made…oh, great.

"Oh, come on." he said "I didn't look at you all the time. I have better things to do than watching you undress."

"Hey!" I really hated him sometimes. But I was glad he did it and saved me.

"I'm going to take you home now." he said.

"What? No!" I got worried "Dorian will be mad! He'll want to kill you."

"Listen, honey. You're not really in condition to go home by yourself." he said "Especially not after what you did."

"I'm fine!" I protested but as the dragon landed on the ground and I got off him, I felt like we were still flying. Everything was spinning around me. I almost fell but Murtagh lifted me into his arms.

"Your husband can't do anything against me and you know it." he said "Just keep up with the story he already has in his mind."

"Why don't you stay here with me tonight? And I'll go back home tomorrow when I'm feeling better." I suggested.

"I can't. The king will kill me if I don't come back soon. I was supposed to check something for him but instead I came here." he said "He's expecting me in Urû'baen tomorrow. It won't be good."

"Oh, that's…" I didn't know what to say. He came to see me because I was feeling bad. So everyone noticed something was wrong with me except me! Well, maybe I did notice but I didn't want to admit it.

"Can you walk from here?" he asked as we approached my house. I was glad Dorian was inside. Maybe he won't see me.

"Sure." I felt dizzy when I got onto my feet but I could walk and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Don't try to do anything stupid…because I probably won't be here to save you." he smiled and I kissed him passionately. We stood there for a moment, just kissing in the rain. Then he smiled and went into the dark. I sighed.

At the moment I opened the door, Dorian almost jumped on me. He hugged me so tightly that I almost stopped breathing.

"Where have you been?" he asked "Oh, honey. You're all wet!"

"I'm fine." I said and this time I really meant it. Some strange peace came over me. I was happy again.

"Are you sure?" his eyes were red. Was he crying because of me?

"Yeah, I'm sure." I said "I'm going to change. Is Elisabeth sleeping?"

"Yes, she is." he said "Don't worry about her. She's just fine."

I went to the room. I felt so tired. This night was definitely too much for me.

* * *

I was looking at my reflection in the mirror when a sharp pain passed through my head. I couldn't see anything for a moment. There were just strange memories; suddenly it all came back to me! All dreams and all visions! They were back!

I saw Selena, saying all those things to me…danger for my child! I panicked. Then I realized I wasn't standing in my room. I was back to that room where I've been before and there she was again.

"_I'm so proud of you. You made it._" she smiled.

"_My child is not in danger!_" I said "_She's here with me and nothing can happen to her._"

"_Your other child is._" she said.

"_I have just one child._" I said. My mind was again playing with me. Just when I thought it's all over. Apparently Murtagh visiting me few days ago made those dreams alive again in me.

"_Look better._" she laughed "_Didn't you notice something different about you…_?"

"_I…_" I looked at her "_What are you talking about?_"

"_Oh, don't be silly. When was the last time you felt like this?_" she said.

"_I don't know…_" I tried to realize what she was talking about.

"_Look in the mirror. Don't you see something different?_" she pointed at the mirror in the corner. I looked at myself reluctantly. Then it came to me.

"_Last time I felt sickness like this…when I felt like crying one moment and the other completely opposite…it was when I was pregnant with Elisabeth!_" I was confused. Could I be pregnant? That was a crazy thought! It made me laugh.

"_Finally!_" she clasped her hands "_Now you know_ _you're pregnant! That's why I came! _"

"_No._" I said "_That's impossible. I don't believe you._"

"_You don't believe what you see?_" she asked.

"_I don't believe you._" I said "_You're a dream…vision…and you're dead! You can't be talking to me and use magic on me or whatever you…well, I don't know how you did it! You're no more than my imagination. _"

"_Oh, fine. I admit…_" she smiled "_Selena is dead. I was her friend._"

"_Then why do you look like her?_" my visions were really driving me crazy sometimes. No, not sometimes; always.

"_Because you activated her magical mirror…we used to talk through that. And I don't think you would believe a word from a person you haven't seen…ever…not even on a picture!_ _Besides, everyone would believe Selena...she just had it in her._" she said "_Now when you know who I am, I'll come to visit you so we can talk in person._"

"_No, why?_" I got scared. Someone was playing with me all the time? That was no good. What did that woman want from me? If she was a woman…who knew what was hiding behind Selena's image.

"_You and your child are in danger!_" she said "_Do I have to repeat it four thousand times?_"

"_Umm, it would help._" I said. I tried to stop the vision but I've never had such a control of it.

"_I'll visit you tonight._" she said "_Until then say nothing to anyone…_"

The vision disappeared and I could see again my own room. I sank to the floor and started to cry. My body was shaking. Why was this happening to me? Was my life cursed? Maybe that's why Murtagh came to save me…to keep up with the curse.

Someone was coming to talk to me and I was helpless. People were always helpless near magicians, witches or Dragon Riders. But I was more helpless than that. My crazy husband could at least take a sword and die fighting…I wouldn't even have a chance against other people…I was a woman and all I should be taking care of is my family.

But how could Dorian help me if I wasn't supposed to tell him anything? I knew he would defend me no matter what. I considered telling him everything for a moment but I was sure he wouldn't believe me.

* * *

The night came too fast. I was very nervous but Dorian didn't notice it. I put Elisabeth to sleep and Dorian went to the room. I've told him I would be there in a minute.

"_Come outside._" I heard a voice in my head and shivered. How did they do that? What is the difference between ordinary people and those who use magic?

I went out, closing the door quietly so Dorian wouldn't suspect anything. There was no one on the street. I realized that person must be waiting for me in the dark behind my house, so I went there.

I saw a woman dressed in black standing under one tree. It was too dark to see her clearly; the moon wasn't giving enough light. Her hair seemed to be black too. I stopped somewhere in the middle between her and the house.

"Don't be afraid." she whispered and walked to me. I felt like someone cut off my legs because I couldn't move even if I wanted to. She could say whatever she wanted but that didn't make me feel any safer.

"Who are you and what do you want?" I asked "Please, just leave me…"

"I'm here to help you." she said.

"Help me? But how?" I asked.

"You're pregnant, honey. The baby is not exactly your husband's so think about it!" she said "You alone just wouldn't do any good. That's why I'm here…to guide you."

"But what am I supposed to do?" I said desperately "I will find a way to tell this to Dorian…if it proves to be true."

"Oh, please! Don't be stupid!" she said "Your child is in danger! No one mustn't find out who is the father…not even _him_!"

"There is no way to hide it!" I said.

"There is always a way! So listen to me carefully because I don't have much time." she said "You're lucky you live far from Urû'baen. The king already forgot about something so insignificant as you so that's a good thing. And about your husband…well, you'll have to sleep with him! Then we'll do everything to hide your pregnancy for some time and when you give birth he'll think it's his child."

"What?" I was shocked "He'll find out the truth! Too much time passed!"

"Does he count the nights he was with you?" she raised an eyebrow.

"No, but…!" I wanted to say.

"There, you see? He won't know…three months more or less…what he knows?" she said "Besides I'll change his mind with magic if he suspects anything, but that only if necessary."

"No!" I protested. If everyone had to be inside my mind, then I don't want the same happen to Dorian!

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine." she said.

"Murtagh will find out." I said "He already saw me somehow…"

"He won't." she smiled "I'll give you something for protection so he won't be able to see you again."

"But he can come here if he suspects something is going on!" I said.

"He won't. The king won't let him." she said "Besides he doesn't care about you. He came here to save you just because he had something else in mind."

"That's not true." I said "He's not evil. I think he has the right to now about me…"

"Are you crazy?" she frowned "He would kill you if he knew!"

"No, he wouldn't." I said.

"You really are stupid." she rolled her eyes "He made you think he cares but he doesn't!"

"Why are you helping me? What do you want from me?" I asked. Magician or a witch…they're definitely not helpers because of their _good_ heart.

"Look, Murtagh is just like his father. And he stayed alive just because Morzan needed him to control Selena! Murtagh doesn't need you because you can't serve him for anything, especially when your visions are failing…that's why your child wouldn't survive." she said.

"But he saved my life!" I said.

"He did. But he was hoping you'll get a vision…so he can get free of Galbatorix!" she said "However, you didn't get a vision! He doesn't care about you anymore."

"No." I whispered; tears appeared in my eyes.

"You see? That's why I'm helping you! I don't want Murtagh to hurt you like Morzan did with Selena!" she said "I see now why he was so interested in you…you're so naïve!"

"So he is evil?" I cried.

"Yes, he is! So listen to me and everything will be fine." she said.

"You said you were Selena's friend…" I wasn't really sure what I was about to ask.

"Yes, I _was_." she said "Until Morzan came between us. I failed to help her and…now I got a chance to…"

"You think helping me will make you feel better about failing your friend?" I asked.

"I hope so." she said "But that's not important now. Your life and life of your unborn child is in danger!"

"Fine." I said; I felt hurt, embarrassed and angry. Who was _he_ to play with me like this? Who was _he_ to ruin my life?

"I'll do whatever you say." I said "But what's your name?"

"You can call me Lily." she smiled mysterious. Maybe I wasn't supposed to trust this woman, but what else I could do?


	7. Chapter 7

I was lying on the bed, thinking about what that woman had said. Dorian was already sleeping, but I couldn't close my eyes. This was all too much for me. The part of me was still hoping this was just an extremely long dream.

I put my hand on my stomach. Another child. I was supposed to be happy…but why the only thing I felt was rage. I believed _him_ everything he said…I thought he really cared. But no…it was all fake.

Tears appeared in my eyes. I felt like choking; I had to run out of the room. Walls were closing over me. I didn't want to have _his_ child.

I thought about the future; I saw myself holding the newborn baby in my arms. No, I couldn't do that…I could never love that child. It would just remind me on my biggest mistake over and over again. Maybe I should throw away the protection Lily gave me and let Murtagh find me…but he would kill me too.

However, I had a reason to live; she was lying in her crib and sleeping peacefully right next to where I was standing. I smiled at her. Oh, Elisabeth…my love. You don't know what your mummy did.

I cried almost whole night. It was the only thing I could have done. Dorian found me in the morning; I fell asleep on the floor next to the crib. Elisabeth was crying.

"Amarantha?" Dorian helped me to get up; he was so worried "What happened to you?"

"I…" I didn't know what to say.

"Are you feeling alright? Oh, you're so pale!" Dorian was all over me, trying to realize what was going on with me.

"I'm fine." I sighed, taking Elisabeth in my arms "Shh, honey, it's okay. Mummy's here."

"Amarantha, you're not fine!" he was so sure of it I didn't know how to convince him the opposite.

"How could you tell?" I yelled at him, annoyed and Elisabeth cried even harder.

"You see?" he said "You're upsetting her too!"

"I…" I gave her to him and ran out of the house. People were already outside, getting ready for work or going somewhere else. My neighbor looked in my direction and I sighed; oh, just great!

"Oh Amarantha, how are you?" Ramona, my _dearest_ neighbor came closer to me.

"I'm fine." I muttered, hoping she'll just go away…like that ever happened.

"My, my…you look so tired! Your eyes are red!" she looked at me from head to toe "Oh, you poor thing! Did Elisabeth hold you awake whole night again?"

"Yes." I said shortly. I was not going to give any explanations to that woman. Especially when I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Oh, I know how it is to have a baby in the house! My…" she kept talking but I stopped listening to her. I got lost in my thoughts again.

"And you?" suddenly asked Ramona with smile on her face. Oh, great…I was supposed to say something but I had no idea what she'd been saying.

"I…I have to go." I forced myself to smile at her and went back to the house.

"Amarantha, please, you have to tell me what's going on with you." Dorian said at the moment he saw me "I can't go on like this! Please!"

I glanced at Elisabeth, who was sleeping again in her crib. Was she _dreaming_ like me? Or she just loved to sleep; I couldn't tell…it was still very early in the morning. Dorian was still looking at me expectantly and I didn't feel like giving any false answers.

I went closer to him. There was nothing else I could do if I wanted to keep my family alive; I kissed Dorian passionately and before he could realize what was going on, I pulled him to our room.

* * *

After that day Dorian didn't ask me anything. We were back to our old routine; he would go to work every morning and I stayed home, taking care of Elisabeth. For a moment, I almost forgot how my life had changed.

Dorian's kisses usually got me back to reality, where I had to be careful what I was saying or how was I acting. My feelings for Dorian had changed and I couldn't see him as the person I love anymore.

I wanted Dorian to be with me and Elisabeth as her father, but I didn't want him to kiss me or to touch me. It wasn't because of him; it was because of me. I was the one who felt disgusted by myself.

Because every time I kissed my husband, I remembered the Dragon Rider. I hated him. Hated him for what he had done to me but part of me was still hoping Lily was wrong.

"There's still hope!" my husband's friend ran into the house one day.

"Hope?" I raised an eyebrow. That man used to get excited over stupid things. Not to mention that he was obsessed with everything that happened in the Empire.

"I just heard Eragon escaped from the king!" he smiled "We don't know much about how it happened but apparently Eragon's friends…the Varden…figured out the way to free him! That means we have a chance to bring the king down. But don't tell to anyone, I know you and Dorian are reliable and that you don't like the Empire much since…"

"Yeah, since the Empire took me away…" I said. Did I forget to mention he talked too much and too fast?

"There will be war!" he said "Galbatorix is pissed! Where is Dorian, anyway?"

"He's not home yet." I sad absently.

"Oh." he said "Do you know that the soldiers of the Empire will most likely come here and take every man who is able to fight?"

"So there will be a big war?" I sighed and then panicked "Wait, what about the other Dragon Rider? Is he still…?"

"Yup. He's still with Galbatorix." he frowned "Why do you ask that? Hello, Dorian could be forced to join the army!"

I hated that guy so much. He really didn't have to wave in front of my nose with his hand and say I was supposed to start crying for my husband! For a second I thought something happened to Murtagh when Eragon escaped.

"The soldiers won't come here for him…our village is too far from Urû'baen. There are lots of places closer to there." I felt relieved Murtagh was alive for some strange reason, but I was surprised with myself for even talking about the Empire "They don't have time."

"Actually we don't know how much time it would take or when will the war start…" he said, trying to look extremely smart "Months can pass by…we don't know!"

"Whatever." I suddenly said. I really didn't care for all this. This guy just needed to tell to someone what he heard.

"But…" he said "We could all be dead!"

"Yeah…" I was sure my face was showing what I meant about the topic.

"Ah, you're a woman. You don't understand." he sighed.

"True." I smiled. Finally he said something smart. I didn't care if there was a battle…as long as it was far from me. And there was really no reason for battle to come here. I noticed the man had left so I just got back to what I was doing. At least the food was nicely cooked.

* * *

Dorian wasn't in the good mood when he came home. Rumors came to him too. Someone said the Empire was indeed coming for soldiers, but there was no way to confirm that. Whole village was in panic; typical for this kind of situation.

Everyone was worried; wives for their husbands, mothers for their sons and men because they didn't know will they ever come back.

"I might have to go." Dorian said while we were eating our dinner.

"Where?" I asked like I haven't been living in the same place.

"To the war!" he was upset but he calmed down in an instant "I have a feeling they're coming for me."

"But you wouldn't go with them! Not after they…" I said.

"I wouldn't…but I have to! If they don't find me…or I say I won't go…they'll kill us!" he said sadly "I won't let anyone hurt you or Elisabeth! I'll go with them."

"Umm." I didn't know what to say; him being away didn't sound like a bad idea. I mentally kicked myself. How could I ever think of sending him to death after all I've done to him? I got so nervous that I got up from the table and went to take a glass of water. Dorian stared at me with puzzled look on his face.

"What?" I looked at him. He was making me anxious.

"I have to ask you something…please, don't get mad!" he said uncomfortably.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow. Now this was weird.

"Did you gain weight?" he flushed, looking at my already a bit rounded stomach. I put my hands on it protectively.

"I'm pregnant." I said quietly. He's face changed from shock to happiness then to something it looked like anger.

"For how long did you know?" he asked.

"Um, not long." I lied.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he was suspicious.

"I was waiting for a perfect moment." I turned around, looking at the window. There was no way I could lie while looking at him about something so big as this.

"Oh, we're having a baby!" suddenly he was so excited that he got up from the table and came to hug me "That's wonderful news!"

"Yes!" I forced myself to smile.

"Oh, this is great! Honey, I love you so much!" he was kissing me, touching my stomach and smiling like crazy. He didn't suspect anything just like Lily said he wouldn't. Days were passing by so fast, who could actually tell how many?

"I love you too." I stared at the point on the wall behind him.

"Oh, honey!" he was still out of his mind. I guess that was normal…I remembered when I told him I was pregnant the first time. We were dancing around the house and screaming from happiness. When Elisabeth was born, it was one of the most beautiful moments ever…well, not exactly the act of giving birth…but everything after that.

"I'm tired." I suddenly said "I would like to go to the bed. Could you clean up, please?"

"Sure, sure!" I knew he was ready to do anything for me "You just go! I'll take care of this mess here."

"Thanks." I smiled and we kissed. I went to the room and closed the door. So part of the plan was working.

* * *

"Amarantha." I jumped in shock when I heard someone saying my name. It was Lily and she seemed pretty amused with my reaction. I had no idea when she entered the house because I didn't hear anything. I guess she knew Dorian wasn't there.

"Don't you ever do that to me again! I'm pregnant!" I said and then considered it; it was possible to lose the baby…it would solve my problems maybe.

"No!" Lily frowned.

"Oh, reading my mind again?" I sighed "I just think I'm not ready for this."

"Not ready?" she was surprised "You already have a child! It's not your first time!"

"No, that's not what I meant." I said "I don't know can I love that child…when it would only remind me on…"

"So?" she smiled mysteriously. I could swear I saw something dangerous in her eyes.

"_So_?" I had no idea what she meant.

"It's not important. I just want you to give birth, nothing else." she said.

"You want to say it's not important what I feel…" I said quietly.

"No, no, no." she smiled wickedly "Of course, it is important. That's why I'm telling you to do this! You'll change your mind when the baby is born."

"I hope so." I whispered.

"Listen to me, Amarantha." she said "You're not a murderer. You couldn't lose your child on purpose. Besides, that would put you in danger too."

"I guess you'll right." I said "But if you keep scaring me like that…or something happens…"

"Nothing will happen." she said "Oh, I almost forgot…the army will take your husband away…"

"What?" I gasped "_What_?"

"Rumors are true. The king wants to have a big army…everyone will be called…everyone." she said "Aren't you happy about it?"

"Happy about the war? Are you out of your mind?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not that, silly." she laughed "Dorian leaving…isn't that great?"

"I don't know." I said "I don't want him to die…I don't want to be alone here…"

"I can come any time you want me." she said.

"I _prefer_ to be alone, thank you." I said bitterly "I think I'll invite my cousin to stay with me."

"Oh, alright then." she smiled "See you!"

"I hope not." I muttered to myself after she left; she might be saving my life but she wasn't on my list of favorite people. So Dorian was indeed leaving. I felt relieved. I won't have to fake happiness in front of him. But I didn't want him to go either. I wasn't ready to take care of everything by myself…

I decided to visit my cousin. She lived just at the other part of the village. She was married but didn't have kids. I was sure her husband will have to go just like Dorian.

I just knew I couldn't be alone...


	8. Chapter 8

They came for him. And there was nothing we could have done about it. I could see the tears forming in Dorian's eyes as he kissed me and Elisabeth.

"I'll be back." he whispered. I felt bad because I couldn't cry…everyone else was crying. I was just tired of it all. The village seemed so sad, depressing and…empty.

My cousin didn't want to stay with me; she already had someone staying with her in her house. Somehow that information got to Lily and she was in my house before I could think of something else.

"I don't want you to stay at my house!" I said that right into her face. The pregnancy was already affecting me.

"You need protection." she said calmly.

"No, I don't." I said "Most of the women here are alone…and they're doing fine…why would I fail at that?"

"Firstly, they don't have visions and secondly, they are not pregnant with a Dragon Rider!" she said.

I sighed. My favorite curse…If I could only see what will happen…but everything that will happen; not just some stupid fragment which will get me in trouble.

Dragon Rider…where was he, anyway? I didn't know what I'd been thinking when I thought we have a future. But nothing he did to me could stop me from thinking about him or worrying is he alive.

"You stupid woman!" Lily's annoying voice brought me back to reality "Don't think about him! It brings no good."

"But I can't control my thoughts!" I yelled.

"You can't control anything, sweetie." she smiled and took Elisabeth into her arms. I couldn't stand it that she was holding my daughter but I couldn't stop it either. However, Elisabeth seemed to enjoy Lily's company…maybe even too much.

* * *

I saw myself running through the woods. It was very dark and I couldn't see where I was going. The wind was blowing against my face and I had a feeling I'd scratched my leg on something but I didn't care.

Suddenly I came to the clearing; and there he was. Murtagh. He was waiting for me. I ran to hug him but at that moment I saw the dark ceiling of my room. The dream was gone.

I shivered; the night was cold. I could see the moonlight coming all the way to me.

That night I threw away the thing Lily gave me for protection. If anyone wanted to see me, so be it. I didn't care for Lily's warnings. If Murtagh cared a bit about me, he would try to find me…and if he wanted me dead, then he already gave up looking for me or maybe not.

At least I tried to explain it like that to myself. He was preparing for the war and the only reason why he would try to look for me was affection or something…and not his wish to kill me. But then again, he didn't know I was pregnant. Would that mean something to him?

I hated it when Lily pretended to know everything. How could she possibly know what Murtagh was feeling? How could she know what he was thinking? I knew she was powerful, but that powerful she, for sure, wasn't.

Stupid magic. It would be better if we just knew nothing about other people, future or the past…unless the people told us on their own or we saw it happening in front of our own eyes. But then again, what did I know about it? Maybe the world wouldn't function without it.

I thought again about Lily's idea that Murtagh was just like his father. It used to happen that sons did same things as their fathers, but then again why would that be true for everyone? Elisabeth was my daughter, so I guess she was supposed to be like me…but she was so happy with Lily, so I wasn't really sure about the whole theory.

I wanted to hear Murtagh's side of story. I wanted him to tell me into my face if he'd been lying to me. Maybe I was just dumb and needed real proof for it. However it was, I decided I would try to find out the truth.

* * *

"What have you done?" Lily almost attacked me one day. Great. She found out about my protection. It was so annoying she knew every move I've made.

"Why do you even bother to ask?" I said "You know my reasons."

"But I have to go to get another one now!" she was angry "You didn't have to destroy such a valuable thing! You will be responsible for your own death!"

"So?" I didn't really care.

"I'll be back as soon as I get it…and you stay here and be careful, very careful!" she frowned and went out of the house in a second. I could swear I heard her cursing me for my stupidity.

It was a nice change to be alone with Elisabeth at home. I was glad Lily had left. At least I hoped she wasn't able to read my thoughts so far away from me. Even though I had no idea where she had left, I had a feeling it wasn't near here.

* * *

Then I decided to do something crazy. I took Elisabeth in my arms, took a bag full of things I might need and I left the house. I was hoping no one will see me and I was truly hoping Lily didn't know what was I doing or where was I going. Even I didn't know where I was going.

It was madness to go closer to the battle fields but I didn't know where to go. What I was doing was very dangerous. I didn't really realize that until I found myself alone with Elisabeth in the dark woods.

I was tired already. I didn't know how far away was the nearest village or in what direction, but I knew I wouldn't make it. Elisabeth was heavier to carry than I thought. I always estimate everything wrong; I was sure I would reach some village before I get tired.

I was too scared to stop walking but I couldn't keep up. I finally sat under on tree, holding Elisabeth in my lap. She was sleeping and I hoped she wouldn't wake up. There was always danger she would start crying and that could have attracted a lot of danger.

I took a deep breath, but I couldn't stop panicking. Of course, it wasn't the first time I made a wrong decision but this one was really _amazing_. I hated myself for putting Elisabeth in danger. Again.

Suddenly something moved in the bushes. I gasped. This was exactly what I didn't want to happen. Maybe it was just a wind…but there wasn't any. I bit my lip nervously.

There was a man standing in front of me. A soldier and he didn't look friendly at all. His clothes were dirty and ripped. There was blood on his left arm and on his sword. He was laughing madly when he saw me.

I got up as fast as I could and I started running. I hoped he wasn't going after me because I was too slow to escape him. As I was running, I heard his laughter but it was quieter and quieter. He didn't bother following me.

I kept running, even I didn't know where I was going. I was afraid that if I stopped, I would fall down and wouldn't be able to get up. I couldn't feel my legs anymore. Elisabeth woke up and she was crying loudly in my arms.

I thought about the soldier and the blood on his sword. But the battle couldn't be so close here! At least that's what everyone in our village thought. I was worried something had changed. What if more villages and towns were involved in the battle? What if there were more battlefields?

As I ran further and further, it all became more and more similar to the dream I had. The cold air was really blowing against my skin and I didn't know where I was going. But Elisabeth was with me. So it wasn't really like the vision.

I ripped my clothes on some sharp branches because I just couldn't avoid them. I cut my arm on something too but I didn't care as long as Elisabeth was unharmed. She didn't stop crying.

I was desperate. The woods seemed to have no end. I couldn't take it anymore. I stopped running and almost fell down from exhaustion but I had to be careful because of Elisabeth. Pregnancy wasn't helping either.

"Shh, Eli, please." I whispered into her ear and sang her a lullaby as I sat on the ground. There were some bushes all around us so I hoped we were safe for a moment. But then I realized wild animals could smell us anyway so it still wasn't a good idea. However, I had no choice. We had to stay where we were.

Then I heard a horrible sound. It was so loud and powerful roar that I wanted to cover my ears. It made me shiver. I looked up at the almost dark sky. Through the branches of high trees, the only thing I could see was a shadow passing really fast over us.

A dragon. It was a dragon. I closed my eyes for a moment. Elisabeth stopped crying, she was just looking at me with her big eyes. I could tell she was scared too.

"Don't worry, honey. Mummy is here." I whispered to her, kissing her forehead. I put my hands over her ears and pressed her tightly to me.

I heard more roaring: it didn't seem to be so close, but what distance was it to dragons? They had whole sky for themselves; and they had the speed to be wherever they wanted in a second.

It sounded like something crashed on the sky. Was it iron? I couldn't tell. I heard two furious roars; so there were more dragons. I gasped. Were the dragons fighting? Was Murtagh there?

I tried to remember my vision. At the end I found him, but from the dream I couldn't tell was that a bad or good thing. However, not everything was the same as in my dream so maybe even that won't be true.

I realized I was crying. I should have never left my house. I even missed Lily. I was wondering did she come to my house already and realized I was gone. Probably not yet, unless she used magic again and saw me exactly where I'd been.

I was also wondering could she kill me with magic without being near me. But did that really matter when I was close to death?

Strange sounds continued…until I heard a horribly painful roar. Something hit the ground not so far from where I was. Or at least that's what I thought. The other dragon roared triumphantly.

I realized why there weren't any wild animals around me and Elisabeth; the dragons probably scared them away. I guess they knew better than us when the danger was coming. Or maybe everyone knew except me.

All I knew was that I had to get out of the woods. Even if I would run into the soldiers. Maybe Dorian was with them. He couldn't have gotten too far with the army. Or maybe he wasn't alive anymore.

That was the first time I thought of it. No, it was impossible. My Dorian was better than that, right? Right? Oh, great. I wasn't even sure. I used to think he was the best and strongest man in the Empire because he was my love. He was my husband…but that dream actually left me.

Maybe running into the soldiers or other people wasn't such a bad idea. I mean, we were still on the same side…I couldn't harm them in any way. But did they become mad as the soldier I saw in the woods? What if they're not thinking straight and kill everyone who they see?

I got up and gathered all my strength. I started walking but then the fear passed through me and I ran…ran, and ran…I wasn't going to stop.

After some time I got to the clearing…the one from my dream. I stopped there, looking around. I tried to catch my breath. Elisabeth was staring at me, some strange shine in her eyes. She was too quiet. Something was wrong.

I took few steps forward. There was nothing there. I stood there for a moment, completely confused.

"Got you." someone whispered behind my back and laughed. I bit my lip and closed my eyes for a moment. No.


	9. Chapter 9

He put his hand around my waist and I pressed Elisabeth tighter to me. I turned around slowly.

"Murtagh." I whispered. He was smiling at me. There was something different about him…but I wasn't sure what. His clothes were a bit ripped, dirty and bloody.

My heart was telling me to hug him, kiss him, run to him. On the other hand, my mind was telling me to stay away, to start running.

I knew running wouldn't help. I was too tired for that and he would stop me before I made my move. He knew this too. I took a deep breath.

No thoughts, just Elisabeth. I wanted to concentrate on her so Murtagh wouldn't know what I was thinking. But it was too late. I couldn't do it. I wish I knew how people could hide their thoughts from others, because it seemed impossible. How could you even do something without thinking about it?

"Your daughter is just beautiful." he said.

"Don't touch her!" I said nervously.

"Hey, why are you so tense?" he laughed "Relax! Everything is fine."

"What happened?" I wanted to know had something really happened near here…dragon fight.

"Yes." he said "There was a fight…big one, and guess who won!"

He grinned and I stared at him, not moving. I didn't know what he meant…if he won, did that mean the king won too? Or there was something else I couldn't guess.

"You did." I said quietly. I realized my heart was beating like crazy. So if he wouldn't kill me, then my heart would…

"The king is dead." he smiled. I was shocked. Galbatorix was dead? I couldn't believe it. It was too good to be true.

"It's true. I'm the new king now." he said.

"What?" I gasped "Impossible."

"No, it's not." he said "We destroyed his source of power and killed his dragon…after that it was easy."

I tried hard not to roll my eyes. This sounded like a story for villagers…something like Dorian's story of how he saved me. Was he trying to impress me? However, I didn't miss a really important word.

"_We_?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Eragon helped us…and the Varden…and everyone who was against Galbatorix. We managed to destroy him with all our forces…using magic. And saying words in ancient language that hadn't been spoken before." he said with excitement.

So, a big thing happened…and I wouldn't even know if I hadn't run into him. I wasn't sure what exactly happened but I didn't want to know. Magic, dragons and language I didn't understand weren't really on my list of favorite things to talk about.

"Why are you the king?" I didn't find a reason why someone would make him a king when he was on Galbatorix's side and people thought he was evil.

"Eragon refused to be the king. And someone powerful has to lead the Empire, but why would you care about that? We have our plans." he said "We'll bring peace…and happiness."

He obviously had some plans he didn't want me to find out about. I promised to myself I would try to learn the truth. Maybe he wasn't lying, maybe he was just hiding something from me…but what?

"Amarantha…" he whispered, getting closer to me and trying to kiss me. I wanted that more than ever. He was my hero. He was everything I ever wanted. I loved him. I truly loved him. That's why I didn't stop him when he kissed me…maybe I should tell him I'm…

In that moment Elisabeth started to cry loudly and he moved away from me. I almost told him…

He looked at me curiously; his eyes on my stomach. I concentrated on Elisabeth, trying to calm her down. She was just reacting strangely these days.

"Are you pregnant?" he asked. I took a deep breath. He seemed to be so surprised he asked instead of searching my mind.

"Yes." I said.

"Well, congratulations." he said "You didn't waste time…"

Oh. I felt a bit offended. He didn't even consider the fact it could be…nothing! I focused on Elisabeth again and I was so glad she was in my arms.

"She's definitely your daughter." he suddenly said.

"Of course, she is!" I didn't get it…why was he saying that?

"She inherited your _gift_…" he smiled.

I gasped. No! Not her. Why was this happening to me? Why did I have to ruin my daughter's life too? Why she had to be cursed too? And so young…my poor baby!

"Don't worry." he said "She's too young to understand these dreams…and they are not specific yet. She can't be having them for a long time since we check before and she didn't have them then. She can just feel…feel what is going to happen. Nothing special."

I felt like crying. I felt broken. When I thought my life couldn't get any worse, it happened. I was lost again. Murtagh was looking at me, still smiling. If he was the king, then should I be speaking to him just like this? Was the danger really over? I didn't know what to do.

"Come with me to the castle." he said.

"Umm…" I thought for a second. Was that a good idea? There was nothing I would like more than going with him, but my questions were still unanswered. Was he just using me like Lily told me? Did he want me in the castle just because he discovered Elisabeth has my curse too?

How could I possibly know what were his intentions? Would he kill me? I didn't know any of it. But maybe I was just accusing him without reason. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe the man I loved was really in front of me.

"Well, you can't stay in the woods alone." he said "That's not safe for such a precious baby like her!"

Precious? Why was he saying that? No, it couldn't be. I was probably imagining all that danger. If it wasn't for Lily, I would be the happiest woman ever at that moment.

"Why don't you take me home?" I asked suspiciously.

"It will take time until everyone finds out what happened today. It's safer for you to go with me." he said "Your husband, if he's alive, probably won't come back soon…you have time to go back home. Just wait until everything calms down. Oh, and could you say no to the king?"

"Alright." I was angry on him because he was probably right; it wasn't safe to go back to the village yet. Especially not if Lily is mad at me. I was wondering could Murtagh read her name in my thoughts or she put a spell on me…

But Murtagh reminded me again that something could have happened to Dorian. I bit my lip. I hoped he was still alive.

I was wondering why Murtagh didn't say anything to make me feel better and less scared, if he was listening to my thoughts. Maybe he didn't care what I thought or there was definitely something behind that all.

* * *

When we came to the castle, I realized we were alone. Everyone probably left the castle in fear when Galbatorix went out with his scary dragon. The place was still dark and ugly as I remembered it.

"When did you have time to talk to Eragon and the Varden and make all agreements?" I suddenly looked at Murtagh. I still didn't understand how that all happened. Maybe I was just stupid.

"We made all our agreements before…when he escaped. It was well planned." he said "I told you we used most powerful magic. You can't understand it because you don't know what magic really is."

"Oh." I said. I was really paranoid lately.

"Your old room is still how you left it." he smiled.

"Really?" I wondered what he was thinking.

"Some people should be here tomorrow." he said "I have a lot of things to do. I'm telling you so you won't get surprised if you find unknown people here."

"Oh." I managed to annoy myself with saying that all the time. But I really didn't know what else to say. This was a very strange situation and I didn't know how to act. Murtagh wasn't helping me either. Maybe it was time to ask him was he just playing with me or I was imagining things.

"I suggest you to stay in your room." he said "I'm not feeling like having to explain why you are here."

"Okay." I said. That was strange. Really strange. He was hiding something, but not just from me.

"Do you need anything else? Something for you daughter?" he asked.

"Umm, we're fine." I said "Thank you."

"See you later then." he smiled and left.

* * *

I was sitting on the bed. Elisabeth was sleeping next to me. I took a deep breath. What had happened? I wasn't really sure.

I wasn't sure should I trust Murtagh or not. He gave me so many reasons not to believe him but my heart kept telling me it was all part of my imagination. Was this all normal or not? Was I exaggerating? I closed my eyes for a moment.

I heard steps outside and then voices. It was early in the morning but it seemed that people already came. I sighed. This would be a boring day if I had to stay whole day in this room.

After some time I checked on Elisabeth who was still asleep and decided to see what was going on. I opened the door quietly and realized there was no one in the hall. I walked slowly to the throne room.

Of course they were there. The door was open a bit but I didn't dare to look inside immediately. What if they knew I was here? You never know with those magicians, mind readers or whatever.

"…the final act will be held in a week or two." I heard a woman say "We can't do it immediately. It would be wrong."

"I agree." I recognized Murtagh's voice "This is the best we can do. There's no hurry."

"So, the wedding…" another man said and I gasped in shock. What wedding? What were they planning to do?

"Nasuada, are you sure about this?" the man asked. I got very nervous; I just had to look inside. It didn't matter if they would see me or not. I held my breath and peered inside.

I couldn't see much but I was too afraid to push the door. Murtagh was standing in the middle of the room. I bit my lip; he looked amazing. His clothes weren't dirty and ripped like I used to see on him. His dark hair was actually longer than I remembered and his face was so beautiful.

A woman was standing next to him. I assumed it was Nasuada. Her hair was black and her skin was really dark. She was beautiful. Then I noticed she was looking at Murtagh. The way she looked at him…I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from saying whatever I was about to say.

"We'll bring peace to Alagaësia." she said and smiled. Murtagh smiled at her. I thought I was going to faint. So that was their idea! I felt like I was going to choke; I couldn't breathe and my mind was spinning. I wanted to run to my room, but I tripped and hit something in the hall.

It made a big noise and I realized everyone in the throne room heard it. However, I didn't care. I just ran down the hall, tears running down my face. I heard Murtagh yelling something after me but I didn't stop.

When I got to my room, I sat on the bed and whipped away my tears. No, I didn't want to cry. Maybe I overheard something or saw things wrong. It was possible I went mad. Oh, please.

Someone knocked on my door. I was surprised; I knew Murtagh wouldn't do that.

"It's open." I said, trying to calm down. It was that woman.

"Hello." she smiled at me "My name is Nasuada. I came to ask you are you feeling alright. We were worried…"

"I'm fine." I said "Nice to meet you. I'm Amarantha."

"Oh, are you Murtagh's friend?" she asked. No! I wasn't his damn friend or anything! Not anymore.

"Yes." I tried to smile, but failed.

"Is that your daughter? She's beautiful!" she saw Elisabeth who was still sleeping.

"Umm, yes." I said. I really wanted to hate that woman. But I just couldn't; she seemed to be a nice lady. Then it occurred to me. Maybe Murtagh was lying to her too.

"Murtagh wanted me to check on you…he thought something had happened…" she said. Oh, he didn't dare to come to see me so he sent her! How sweet. Something had happened? No, nothing. Except so many things I didn't understand, but whatever!

"I have to ask you something." I didn't really know how I should speak to that woman. Was she royalty or not? She didn't seem to mind, so I continued.

"Could you, please, tell me what is going on?" I asked "I heard so many things so I'm not sure anymore. What will happen with the Empire?"

"Didn't Murtagh tell you?" she was surprised. Would I be asking if he did? Did she think I was stupid? Oh, I was definitely overreacting. My mind just doesn't work right when I'm really angry. And I was furious.

"Are you two getting married?" I asked nervously.

"Yes." she smiled "Probably. It's the only way to make peace. We need to unite the Varden and the Empire…but since one part wouldn't trust him, and the other wouldn't trust me…we have to do this."

"Oh." I was speechless. What a stupid idea! Couldn't they just find another person to rule? And she was someone important actually. Oops. I had to be more careful. Could she read my thoughts? I hoped she couldn't.

"But to change things to better…leaders have to be powerful and charismatic." she said.

"What about Eragon?" I said "I heard he refused to be the king…and I believe he's the only person everyone likes."

"Yes, he refused…he found his peace with…someone…and he already did too much for everyone. We can't ask him to do this too." she said.

"Good for him." I said. I really needed to know the whole story about this…and she would tell me, I was sure of it.


	10. Chapter 10

Nasuada had left the room after explaining some things to me and it made me even more upset. Murtagh was really planning to marry her but for what did he need me then? I decided to clear it all up. I had to talk to him.

He was obviously thinking the same because he came to my room just few moments later. Or maybe he read my mind. It was really frustrating to feel so exposed to anyone who had that ability.

Maybe we weren't meant to be. How could I be with someone who knows everything I do and feel? But then again, it didn't bother me while I was blindly in love with him. Was I still in love with him? After all that?

"We have to talk." he looked very serious. Wow, a miracle! He actually realized we had to talk! I was impressed…and mad. Really, really mad. And I so hoped he was reading in my mind in that moment.

"Would you mind telling me what are you doing?" I asked.

"It's not your business." he said like he didn't care at all "I came to tell you you'll have to stay here alone because I have to go…"

"What?" I was shocked "You want to leave me here?"

"Maids, guards, they will all be at your service." he said "I'll be back in a week or two."

"No." I said "I'm leaving too."

"Where? It's not safe yet to return to your home!" he said.

"Then I'm going with you." I said. His face darkened.

"No, you can't." he said, looking at Elisabeth who was playing with something on the bed. I wondered was he trying to find a good excuse.

"Why? Because you're going with that woman?" I yelled, tears forming in my eyes already.

"Don't be jealous!" he suddenly said "Nasuada is the leader of the Varden. She needs to come with me so we can bring peace."

"Jealous?" I was furious "How can you say that?"

"I know you don't like her but…" he said.

"No, that's not true! Why wouldn't I like her?" I said "She's really nice, but that's got nothing to do with this!"

"Then what's the problem?" he asked like he really didn't know. I opened my mouth to say something but I didn't. For some reason he wasn't reading my mind or he was making a fool of me. It was hard to tell.

He acted like I hadn't heard the fact that they would be getting married! I stared at him. I wasn't imagining it and it wasn't a dream. I didn't know what he was thinking.

"Well, you surprised me." I said. I was completely calm and I smiled actually.

"Why?" he asked curiously.

"You're talking about leaving me here like I'm someone who means something to you! You're saying I'm jealous on Nasuada like I'm your wife…" I laughed bitterly "But you don't mention the fact that you're getting married with her! Now tell me, why do you want me here? Tell me, what about _us_?"

"I told you I'll be back." he said coldly "This with Nasuada is not your business, like I told you already. It doesn't have anything to do with you."

"So, you're not getting married?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Even if I am getting married…so what? You're married too." he said "And that doesn't seem to stop you from…"

"But…I saw how you were looking at her!" I said. I got nervous because he really did have a point.

"I saw you kissing your husband…and you were probably doing more…" he said "And now you ask about _us_?"

"I…" I didn't know what to say. He was right. I sank to the floor, resting my back on the bed. Tears were going down my face. But no, I couldn't let him distract me this time.

"Do you love me?" I asked "Do you love me or you just want me to tell you what will happen? Just tell me truth and I'll try to do whatever you want. Don't lie to me, please."

He looked at me for a moment. But I really meant what I said. I wanted it all to be over. I couldn't stand the pressure any longer. It was killing me.

Before I could realize what was going on, he was standing just an inch away from me and then he kissed me passionately. In that moment I forgot about everything. I just wanted him to stay with me. I wanted _him._

Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my head and everything went black. When I opened my eyes again, Murtagh was holding me in his arms. He looked very worried. I tried to smile but then the pain came again. I screamed.

It was Lily. I really hated her way of sending messages to me. The room was blurry and it seemed to me like she was standing in the corner of the room. She pointed at Murtagh and disappeared.

But someone appeared there instead of her. He was walking closer to me. I got scared. He was looking a lot like Murtagh, but it wasn't him. Then I realized it was Morzan. I guess Lily tried to tell me again Murtagh was just like his father.

I took a deep breath; the room was again clear in front of me. The vision was gone.

"Are you alright?" Murtagh helped me to get up.

"I guess." I said and said something that didn't seem like my words "It's just pregnancy…"

"Oh." he said and moved away from me. I sighed. Lily had too strong control over me sometimes. She almost made me forgot what I was trying to find out. But I knew I didn't get the answer on my question. Did Murtagh even know the answer?

"I'm leaving." I said "You don't love me. There's no reason for me to stay here. I'll find another place to stay."

"It's dangerous." he said.

"I have some relatives near…I'll be fine." I said.

"Ok, then. Do whatever you want." he headed for the door. Just like that. I was shocked. My hands were shaking and I had that choking feeling in my throat again. I closed my eyes for a moment. Seconds seemed like forever, but it was now or never.

I forgot about Lily, forgot everything…it was my life. Who was she to tell me what to do? I wondered if she could stop me.

"It's yours!" I yelled desperately after him. He stopped and turned around to look at me carefully.

"What?" he asked surprised. I realized I was biting my lip. Okay, so maybe it wasn't a good idea. Maybe I really didn't know how to take care of myself. However, it was too late.

"It's yours." I repeated, tears going down my face. If he wanted to kill me, he could. But at least I told him. I could have gone without telling him and if something happened to me, he would never know. I was fair, even he wasn't.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The child…it's yours." I cried.

"No, it can't be!" he almost laughed. I've never seen him like that before; he seemed nervous and he didn't know what to do. He was confused just like I was and it made me smile.

"I just thought you should now." I said "But it doesn't change anything."

"How did you…Why…I…" he got closer to me and I would have made one step back if I could. He stared into my eyes for a long time and I was too afraid to do or say something. He was looking for his answers in my mind probably. I thought about Lily; I wondered did her spells still work.

"I'm going to kill that woman!" he suddenly said. I jumped. Oh, so it stopped working after I said it. I wish I knew it before. Lily was obviously too sure that I wouldn't tell after everything I've been through. She simply thought I'm not that stupid; and I was.

Of course, I regretted saying it. Wasn't Lily supposed to stop me from saying it? But then again, was that really possible? Maybe I just chose the wrong words. If I had said something like the child is yours in one whole sentence, maybe she would have stopped me. Even Murtagh didn't know what I was talking about at first.

I sighed; I wanted to disappear. Murtagh was looking at me and I was afraid he was thinking of a good way to kill me. Elisabeth started to cry. I didn't dare to look back at her.

"Please…" I whispered, even I wasn't even sure what I wanted to do.

"Go." he said quietly and moved away from me, shaking his head a bit. I wasn't sure what he meant. Was I supposed to leave or just go to calm down Elisabeth? I realized it didn't really matter. I took Elisabeth in my arms and she was suddenly smiling at me.

"Eli, my baby." I whispered to her "Everything will be just fine."

I wasn't trying to convince her it would be okay; I needed to convince myself. Again. But she was smiling at me so nicely that I almost forgot all my worries.

"What now?" I asked after a long time of silence "I really hope you're not going to kill Lily."

"Lily?" he raised an eyebrow. Oh. I wish I knew what exactly Lily had done to my mind.

"Umm, the woman who wanted me not to tell you?" I hoped this wasn't too much information.

"I don't understand it. Who is she?" he asked.

"No one important." I said.

"Right." he said "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Why didn't you tell me you have other plans?" I said "Besides, I've told you already. I don't want to…I mean, I can leave…forever."

"What are you talking about?" he was puzzled.

"I don't want anything from you. No one has to know the child is yours. I'll take care of everything…" I said it like that was easy thing to do.

"No!" he got upset "No! I can't let you do that!"

"What are you going to do then?" I asked nervously.

"I won't let you leave." he said, his eyes shining like fire.

"Your future wife wouldn't approve if I stayed." I said "You can't hold me here. I know my husband will come home soon. He will want me back, especially because of Elisabeth and because he thinks we're going to have our second child."

"Something might have happened to him." he said darkly.

"No! Don't say that!" I knew he wouldn't mind hurting my husband just to get what he wanted "You could never be the king if you get involved with a married woman…you know what people would say. They know I've been here before…and they'll be suspicious…and the child…I don't want to think about it."

He didn't say anything; he was probably considering everything I had said.

"You would never bring peace…do you want to be another Galbatorix?" I said "Or will you give up the power for me?"

In that moment I knew I said the stupidest thing ever. I just let my emotions take over me. Of course he wouldn't give up the power he got just because of me! This was his moment; he deserved it. No matter what he has done, I would always find a way to justify him.

He stared at me for a long moment. He wasn't sure what to do and I wasn't sure what to do about my life either. Could I really go back to Dorian like nothing had happened? Could I endure the rest of my life with him?

It would be better for Elisabeth to stay with her father. I couldn't ruin her life. But what about my unborn child? What about the faith of that child? Maybe I wouldn't be able to lie anymore about the father after some time. What if my child will look too much like the father?

I didn't know how smart was to stay with Murtagh. Lily tried to warn me about the danger. Many times. But I loved him. I probably hated him in the same time too but I didn't believe he was evil. I just couldn't.

Maybe it was better for me to leave. Leave Murtagh, leave Dorian…but I knew myself. I could never make it alone. I needed someone with me, no matter who. I needed someone to take care of me, to love me, to protect me.

"Do you love me?" he suddenly asked me.

"I do." I whispered.

"Then you'll do what I tell you to." he said coldly.


	11. Chapter 11

"No." I said "I won't."

"Then you don't love me." he said.

"Maybe I shouldn't." I said. We stared at each other for a moment; we were just standing there like statues. I wasn't going to let him ruin my life again.

"There's a castle far from here…I'll take you there and you'll be safe and well hidden from everyone." he said.

"No." I said "You're not going to hide me somewhere and leave me alone there! I'm not going anywhere! Or you change your plans or I'm going back to home."

"Do you want something to happen to Elisabeth?" he looked at me, his eyes cold fire. I panicked; he would hurt my daughter. I knew he would.

"Do you want me to give birth to your child?" I asked, trying to stop my hands from shaking "If you do something to Elisabeth, I'll kill myself…and our child."

He was shocked; even he tried to hide it. He didn't expect to hear something like that from me. But what did he know about mother's love for her child? I promised to myself no one would harm Eli.

"You wouldn't…" he said.

"Oh, I would. Trust me." I said coldly "I won't be part of your double life! You won't be married with some woman in front of everyone, and visiting me secretly in some stupid castle! I won't let it happen! I'm not your lover."

"You don't understand! It's not because of me. It's for the people!" he said desperately.

"For people?" I asked "Do you really believe that? No, this is for you. And you know it."

"Then tell me what to do…" he whispered.

"Me?" tears appeared in my eyes "I don't even know what I'm doing! I don't know…anything. Should I stay with you? Should I leave and never return, knowing I'll miss you forever?"

"Amarantha…we have to decide." he said, touching my face gently "Or this will destroy us."

I nodded; he was right but it made me so sad that I couldn't stop crying.

"We can go back to our old lives, or start a new one…together." he said.

"We're not ready…" I whispered "We're not ready to leave the past behind…you can't change who you are…I can't forgive myself for leaving Dorian."

"Then what?" he looked deep into my eyes.

"We're not meant to be." I cried.

"Are you leaving?" he asked.

"Yes." I said "Today. I can't stay here any longer…I can't."

"Alright then." he moved away from me a bit "I guess this is goodbye."

"Yes, it is." I felt like someone cut me with a knife. He looked at me sadly and headed for the door.

"Wait!" I yelled. I wanted to kiss him one last time, but I wasn't brave enough to do it.

"What?" he looked at me expectantly.

"I want to ask you for a favor." I said.

"Tell me." he said.

"Swear you won't come to see your child…swear you won't try to see me or the baby using magic." I said.

"Why?" he was surprised.

"Safety reasons." I said "If we're going back to our old lives, we're doing it seriously."

"Fine. I guess it's better like that, for everyone..." he said it but I guess it hurt him to do so.

"Just keep your promise, please." I whispered "Goodbye."

* * *

I packed my things as fast as I could and I was glad I didn't have much to carry with me. I took Elisabeth in my arms and left the castle without saying anything to anyone. It was better that than seeing Murtagh again and changing my mind.

When I reached the woods, Lily appeared out of nowhere. I gasped. She didn't look mad, so I hoped she wasn't going to attack me or something.

"Oh, finally!" Lily exclaimed "I've been waiting for you!"

"I'm going home." I said.

"Of course, you are! Dorian is waiting for you." she smiled.

"He is?" I was glad he was alive. It was surprising how Lily changed her opinions and moods so fast. With her I never knew what she was up to.

"Yes! I told him you're at your friend's place and that you'll come home soon." she said.

"Oh. You told him that? Why?" I panicked "Is he looking for me?"

"No. I told him you're on your way so he would probably miss you if he went looking for you." she said "He can't wait to see you and Elisabeth. Oh, that precious baby!"

I let Lily hold Elisabeth; I was already getting tired. But as we kept going, I couldn't stop thinking of Murtagh. Lily gave me an angry look.

"Stop thinking about him!" she said "You did the right thing. He doesn't deserve to have a child."

"Don't say that!" I got upset.

"Sorry, sorry." she said quickly "Relax. Breathe. I didn't mean to upset you."

No, you definitely didn't! Huh. I actually listened to her advice; I took a deep breath. But it didn't make me feel better.

"Don't feel guilty for that! she said "He would ruin your child's life. He knows it too because he let you go. He wouldn't be a good father…Dorian will be much better. Think about your child."

"How do you know?" I looked at her furiously "How do you know?! Don't tell me you saw it because no one can! You can get into someone's mind but not in the heart."

"Mind eventually wins over heart." she said calmly "But, hey, you decided to leave him and ban him from seeing your child…so you agree with me."

"Maybe you are right." I said "I shouldn't think about him. I should think of my child…"

"You can think about him…but forget what your heart says and listen to your mind." she said "Just think of what he has done to you, how he spoke to you…did you really want to be his lover?"

"I admit part of me hates him…he ruined my life." I whispered "But if I let the hate take over me, I'll never be able to love his child. I don't want to see him every time I look at my baby."

"Forget it then." she smiled mysteriously "You don't have to love or hate anyone. I'll take care of…"

"What?" I asked suspiciously. What was she talking about?

"Oh, nothing." her face lightened up and she smiled "Let's go!"

I followed her, but I knew something was wrong. She wanted something; she had a plan. Maybe I was being paranoid again but I couldn't feel safe around her or anyone who knew how to use magic. Just when I thought my life would get back to _normal, _I realized that would never happen.

* * *

"Amarantha!" Dorian ran to me to hug me at the moment he saw me coming. Lily smiled next to me and I forced myself to smile too. Dorian was kissing me and Elisabeth and he was so happy that tears appeared in his eyes.

"My love!" he said "I missed you so much! Oh, I love you!"

"I love you too." I said as we walked to the house. I looked at Dorian again. He truly loved me and he would do anything for me. And I almost left him for…It didn't matter anymore.

"How are you? Is everything okay with the baby?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. Everything is just fine." I smiled. Yes, everything just perfectly fine. Especially my daughter having my curse and me pregnant with other man's child, but whatever.

"Where have you been?" he asked suddenly "I'm not sure I know your friend…"

"Oh, you don't know her." I looked away from him, hoping he wouldn't notice I was lying "We've been friends since we were young…but she got married and moved away."

"Oh." he said "I'm so glad you're here."

"Yes, me too." I said.

* * *

Time was passing by fast again and days seemed shorter and shorter to me. I thought they were going to be longer but I was so busy every day that I didn't have time to waste. It was better like that.

Elisabeth was already walking and talking like a normal baby of her age. Well, she wasn't really a baby anymore but she was still my _baby._ She did start talking later than the other kids in the village but I was glad she didn't speak about her dreams.

Last few weeks I couldn't really do much except sitting with friends and gossiping; my stomach was already huge. I almost started feeling as a part of the village, not different from other women in any way.

I usually didn't care about rumors, but the ones about our new Empire were highly interesting. So I found out Murtagh got married with Nasuada. The Varden and the Empire were joined together finally. Everything seemed just perfect.

I also heard there were some rebels again. Well, not sure who they really were but I guess some people just couldn't live without war. They were against our new king and the queen, even they didn't really have a reason. At least, not yet. But they believed something would go wrong.

I also heard they blamed Murtagh for death of one of their men. They couldn't prove it, though. But knowing Murtagh, he could have done that. For many nights I have reconsidered everything that happened between Murtagh and me. And it wasn't nice. He never loved me, I thought.

Dorian was taking care of me and when he couldn't, Lily was there. Lily seemed harmless for most of the time but I never trusted her completely. But Elisabeth really liked her; and I wouldn't let my girl stay with anyone else.

One night I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. I screamed. It was the time. Lily immediately sent Dorian out and closed the door. I almost laughed at the expression on my husband's face; he was confused.

I lost the count of how much time it took me to give birth. I just realized it was morning outside when I heard the baby crying. I was exhausted.

"Congratulations!" Lily smiled "It's a baby boy."

Boy. I gasped. No. After some moments Lily got closer to me, holding the baby wrapped in white blanket. She wanted me to hold him.

"No." I said. She raised an eyebrow.

"Don't be silly. It's your baby!" she said.

"I'm tired." I said and closed my eyes.

"Well, whatever." Lily said and I heard her opening the door. She spoke to Dorian then. He was thrilled. He also asked about me but Lily said I was sleeping. I really did fall asleep after a moment.

* * *

When I woke up, it was getting darker already. Great. I was really getting used to sleeping a lot. I realized Dorian was next to me.

"Ow, honey!" he said "I love you so much!"

"Umm." I smiled a bit. I wondered when the baby would start crying and then I would have to get up and take care of him. With Elisabeth it was very exhausting; she was waking up almost every hour at first!

"You know, I was thinking about the name." Dorian smiled.

"The name?" I was puzzled.

"For our son!" he looked at me, worried "Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I know it was very tiring for you to give birth…you probably need some time to recover!"

"Oh." I bit my lip; I wasn't really able to think of a name.

"So, what do you think?" Dorian was excited actually.

"You choose." I said. I didn't really care. Besides, I chose Elisabeth's name. It was time for him to decide.

"Really?" he was surprised, but positively surprised "I love you, honey! How about Max?"

Max? You could have called him Murtagh! I sighed.

"Alright." I said. The name probably wasn't the only thing that would remind me of _him_.

"Oh, honey!!" Dorian kissed me. In that moment we heard the baby crying. The door opened and Lily walked in the room.

"I'm sorry, but the little one is crying." she said.

"Can't you do something about it?" I asked. I wasn't really feeling like getting up yet or actually sitting up.

"You need to feed him." she smiled "That's a thing only you can do."

"Ah, fine." I rolled my eyes and let Dorian help me sit up.

"His name is Max." Dorian smiled at Lily.

"Max?" Lily grinned at me.

"He chose it." I looked at Dorian.

"I see." Lily laughed. Dorian just looked confused at us.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on Eli?" I asked Dorian and he just nodded and left the room. Lily closed the door and gave me the baby.

I looked better at my son. Oh. He had his father's eyes and hair and mouth…damn.

"Amarantha, please. You're imagining it." Lily said "He has your lips and nose. And he doesn't have enough hair for you to be sure it's like _his_."

"You really think Dorian won't…?" I looked at her.

"Oh, come on. Your hair is dark enough…" she said quietly.

"If you say so…" I sighed. This was going to be hard.


	12. Chapter 12

"He's your son!" Lily followed me to the other room. I stopped abruptly and looked at her.

"Don't you think I actually know that?" I frowned. Last few weeks were horrible; I was way too nervous and angry. Dorian couldn't understand why I forbade our neighbors and friends to see the baby. He didn't seem to notice the obvious, but I did. And it bothered me.

"You know, I'm not going to take care of him and Elisabeth while you're freaking out." she said.

"Oh, sorry. I thought you wanted this." I smiled bitterly "You were around when I didn't want it. Now I need you and _you_ don't want it."

"Look. I would help you. But I won't take care of your kids like I'm their mother. Because I'm not." she said "You are."

"Whatever!" I snapped "Just leave me alone!"

"Give him away." she suddenly said. I looked at her in shock.

"No." I said.

"If you don't want him, give him to his father!" she said.

"No!" I was upset.

"Then start acting like his mother!" Lily looked at me in a very frightening way "Or I'll do the right thing for you."

"Don't…" I started to cry. I couldn't take it anymore. Tears were running down my face like a river and I think Lily was hugging me. I wasn't sure what was going on. But I yelled at Lily and she got mad and left. She didn't come back.

* * *

Two months without Lily and I was getting worse. Dorian almost left his job because of me. He called doctors, herbalists and who knows who, but no one could help me. Most of the time I was crying, screaming or yelling at someone. I refused to go out or to see my friends.

I attacked Dorian when he wanted to take Max out. I just couldn't let anyone see him. I was sure they would find out my secret. One night Dorian finally lost his patience.

"Amarantha, please, I just want to talk to you." he said, taking my hand.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"Come with me." he took me outside. I wanted to protest, but I didn't. It was night outside. Everything was so quiet; perfect. I looked around, completely amazed.

"How do you feel?" he smiled. I gasped. The moon was shining so beautifully and the stars were like little dots of light in the darkness. The air was fresh and it smelled like roses. Oh, Dorian actually put some flowers there.

"Better." I whispered. I realized I was smiling. I didn't feel so good for a long time. And it was so easy to get out and move away from all the mess and noise in my house. But I didn't do it…until now.

"You don't have to be all the time inside." Dorian kissed my hand.

"Umm, yeah. It's beautiful here." I sighed "But I should get back inside…the kids might…"

"No." Dorian whispered into my ear "Don't worry. Nothing will happen. Not now, when I have this special moment with you."

"Honey…" I smiled and we kissed. We haven't done that for a long time.

"I love you." he said "Maybe I don't really understand you sometimes, but I still love you. Please, help me here."

"I…this is very stressful…Elisabeth is growing up so fast…Max is here…" I said "I'm not sure I can handle it."

"Yes, you can." he said "I know you can. I believe in you."

"Dorian." I said "I'll try…"

"I'll be there…" he smiled "Always and forever with you."

* * *

Three years passed by. I finally got closer to normal. At least I didn't have to take care of crying babies anymore. Dorian had done everything for me. But the most important: he loved me. Maybe I didn't love him like I used to, but it was easier for me to be around him.

"Mommy!" Elisabeth ran into the house and jumped into my arms.

"What is it, honey?" I kissed her cheek. Her dress was dirty and ripped a bit, but I got used to it. She loved to play outside. Her hair was brown and long, almost like mine.

However, she never spoke about her dreams or anything like that and I hoped she wouldn't. I just couldn't stand it if my daughter had problems because of my curse…our curse. My visions stopped working, at least I thought that. I wasn't sure but I hadn't had them for a long time.

"Max won't play with me!" she made a sad face. I almost laughed; she was so cute when she did that.

"Oh, honey, why don't you play with Bella?" I said. Bella was something like her best friend. They played together all the time.

"Because she's not here!" she said.

"Oh, and where is she?" I was surprised.

"I don't know." she shrugged "Can I go see Daddy?"

"Yes, you can." I smiled and she ran out again. I went outside to find Max. He was right there in our garden. Dorian had made a fence so I wouldn't be so paranoid about Max being out. My friends and neighbors were already mad at me so they avoided our house.

"Max!" I called, but he didn't hear me. He was sitting on the ground and playing with something. His hair was actually completely black and a bit longer. No one suspected anything, or at least no one said anything about it.

"Max!" I got closer to him and he looked up at me "Max, what are you doing?"

"No…thing." he stood up, still looking at me carefully.

"Nothing?" I raised an eyebrow. Most of the time I wasn't really sure what he was doing. Did he inherit my curse too? Well, it would be one of the rare things he got from me, so…no, wait. I didn't want that. The boy still stared at me…with _those_ eyes. I shook my head to get rid of that thought.

"Ah, whatever. Come with me." I said and he followed me back to the house.

* * *

I woke up in the middle of the night. Someone was crying in the other room. I got up and went to check it. Like I thought, it was Max. Before I could reach his room, I felt a sharp pain in my head. I fell down on the floor. The pain was horrible.

I bit my lip not to scream. Images were passing in front of my eyes. Horrible, dark images. When I finally recovered, it seemed like hours had passed by and not only seconds. I was shocked. They were going to kill _him._

"Max, what is it?" I came closer to his bed.

"Monster is there!" he pointed at the window, tears going down his face.

"There are no such things as monsters. You're safe." I rolled my eyes. Okay, dragons and wild animals don't count. He didn't have to know it. I looked through the window actually. A shadow. I shivered. Was I seeing things or there really was something out there?

"Stay here." I said to Max and decided to go out. I had to check or I couldn't go back to sleep. No way I would feel safe with someone there. Carefully, I opened the door to meet the _monster_. I gasped.

"I knew you would come out." Murtagh whispered. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I was so shocked to see him there that I didn't know what to do. My mind went blank.

"What are you doing here?" I managed to ask while Murtagh held my arm and guided me to the garden.

"I need to ask you for a favor." he said as we sat on the bench behind my house, not far from the window of mine and Dorian's bedroom. I took a deep breath.

"Those people…" I whispered nervously "They'll try to kill you!"

"I know." he smiled sadly "That's why I came."

"What?" I was confused. So he knew about that? He knew that those rebels who didn't like him as the king would finally do something about it?

"Take this and keep it safe." he put something green out of his black coat. I stared at the shiny thing with wide eyes.

"No!" I gasped "No way! I'm not taking it! I'm not keeping and I'm not doing anything with it! Are you crazy?"

"Wow, you really are shocked." he said. Of course, I was! He brought a dragon egg to my house! I hoped Dorian hadn't heard me.

"No." I said "Just…no."

"Please, listen to me." he said "Hide the egg here and give it to our son on his eighteen birthday. Just do it."

"Don't you think someone will find the egg here?" I panicked "No way! I won't let someone kill my family because of a stupid dragon!"

"Don't say that." he closed his eyes for a moment "No one will find the egg here. Trust me. It's well protected with magic."

"I…" I didn't know what to say. He wrapped the egg in a black blanket and put it under the bench.

"Just do as I say." he touched my face gently. I shivered. Old feelings came back to me like a wave. Suddenly we heard something behind our back.

"Max!" I almost yelled "I told you to stay inside!"

The boy stared at us, not moving.

"Max…" Murtagh said "Come here."

I looked at Murtagh nervously but he had a look in his eyes that I hadn't seen before. Or was it just the moon? I almost started to cry.

"It's okay." I said to Max and the boy hesitantly got closer. I didn't know what Murtagh had in mind but what else could I have done? What should I say to Max? What…?

"Who is he?" Max stared at me with his big eyes. The king? A friend? Your father? What was I supposed to say?

"He's…Murtagh." I simply said and tried to smile.

"Why is he here?" Max asked. Oh, great. More stupid questions I just didn't want to answer.

"Amarantha?" Murtagh frowned at me.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow. I almost forgot how it was to have someone reading your thoughts. I looked at Max who was probably tired. I had to get him back to the house.

"Are you tired?" Murtagh smiled at Max and the boy nodded "Can I hold you then for a moment?"

That wasn't a good idea. Max looked at me first and I had to smile because I could feel Murtagh's eyes on me. Murtagh took Max into his arms and hugged him. I could swear I saw tears in his eyes.

Tears appeared in my eyes too. I ran my hand nervously through my hair but I couldn't stop myself from shivering.

"What now?" I whispered after some moments of silence. Murtagh pressed Max tightly to his chest and didn't seem to want to let go of the boy. I couldn't blame him for that.

"Just keep him safe, please." Murtagh said softly.

"What about you?" I asked and noticed Max fell asleep. It was better like that.

"You saw it." he said, closing his eyes. One single tear rolled down his cheek. He looked at me again.

"You'll let them kill you?" I couldn't believe my own words.

"Yes." he whispered.

"Why?" I cried. I knew situation in the Empire wasn't the best. There were people who didn't like him. He was also married with Nasuada but there were rumors they couldn't have kids.

I heard Murtagh used to go somewhere without telling anything to anyone and Nasuada was angry. People said they fought a lot. But Murtagh's death didn't make sense to me. Why would he do it when he always wanted to live?

"Why?" he looked at the sky sadly "There's nothing worth living for."

"You just didn't say that." I refused to believe it.

"You took him away from me." he kissed the top of Max's head "You were right to do that. I wouldn't…and I know I would just look for you and him…my whole life…knowing that you're here somewhere but I can't see you, can't touch you, can't kiss you…"

"No…" I said "If you do that…I'll never forgive myself."

"They won't be looking for you after I'm dead." he said coldly "That's the only thing that matters…keeping you safe."

"I'll tell everyone the truth if you let them kill you." I said.

"No, you won't. Wouldn't make sense." he smiled.

"I'll let you see our son." I said.

"And what would you say to him?" he looked at me "Would you put him in danger?"

"I'll tell him the truth." I said.

"No, you would ruin his life." he said "It's better for him to think that nice man is his father…not me."

"I love you." I blurted. I knew it was a stupid thing to say but I ran out of reasons which actually made sense. Ah, whatever. I won't try to fool myself. I said it because that was how I felt and I didn't think about it. It was the truth. The only possible truth.

"I love you too." we kissed above our son's head. After a moment we both moved away in shock. This wasn't planned and I think it scared the both of us a bit. Murtagh was again faster to get back that expressionless look on his face. I hated that.

It was supposed to be like that. Happy, spontaneous and crazy. This was how our lives were supposed to look like. Perfect family picture. I jumped when I saw a shadow near the house. It was Dorian. There were tears in his eyes. I wanted to run to him and hug him, but I knew nothing I did would make him feel better.

"I knew it all along." Dorian whispered.

"I'm sorry I…" I sobbed.

"What could you possibly tell me?" Dorian felt betrayed. I've done something horrible to him…for all these years.

"It wasn't her fault." Murtagh said.

"I know you are the king, but not here…not after doing this to my family." Dorian was getting really angry.

"Just shut up!" I said nervously "You'll wake up Max!"

"So, you care now because _he_'s here?" Dorian looked at me with pure hate in his eyes.

"Dorian, I'm so sorry…I didn't mean…" I was still talking but what difference did it make? The farce was over. Really over. I looked again at Murtagh; he was smiling for a second. I gasped. He planned this all. He knew I wasn't smart enough to realize when he was lying. Once again he got what he wanted, so easily. Just I didn't know what he really wanted with all this.


	13. Chapter 13

"You…" I would have told something to Murtagh, but I couldn't in front of my child. Dorian just shook his head; he was trying hard not to cry. I've hurt him more than I could imagine.

"I want you to leave." Dorian said, avoiding to look at me "I don't want to see you again. Ever."

"Dorian, I really…I'm sorry." I whispered, but I knew it was useless "Alright. I'll leave. But you have to know I didn't want this to happen. I really loved you."

"Do you really think that means something to me in this situation?" he looked at me coldly "Take the boy, but Elisabeth stays with me. She's my daughter. It's not good for her to grow up next to a woman like you."

I wanted to protest, but Murtagh grabbed my arm and gave me a sign not to say anything. I got nervous; I couldn't just leave my daughter. Besides, I didn't really have where to go. But still I didn't know Murtagh's plan.

Dorian went back to the house and Max, who actually woke up from all the noise, stared at me in confusion.

"You got what you wanted. Now what?" I looked angrily at Murtagh. I wasn't going to leave without my daughter. And I didn't care what he thought about it. Maybe he didn't want Elisabeth with us. But did he even want me or just our son?

"Tell me you didn't want this." he whispered into my ear, putting his hands gently around my waist. He was standing so close to me and made me shiver. His lips on my neck, his hands on my back…he was driving me crazy and he knew that.

"Murtagh…" I said, forgetting completely about everything. Did he really have such an impact on me? Oh yes, he did. He knew he was my weakness and he used it who knows what for. He kissed me and I forced myself to move away from him.

"I'm not going anywhere without my daughter." I said. He rolled his eyes and I frowned; this wasn't good. He didn't care. He really didn't care how I felt.

"Ok. Take Elisabeth." he said it like my daughter was a thing. And he said it like it was easy for me to do that.

"I would…but Dorian won't let me." I said. Then I realized someone was pulling my dress.

"Mommy?" Max didn't understand what was going on.

"Max, not now." it really wasn't the right time to explain something I wasn't even sure I could explain "Stay here. We have to go…somewhere."

"Do you want Elisabeth or not?" Murtagh asked.

"Yes, I want my daughter!" I said desperately "I've already told you that!"

"Then wait here. I'll be right back." he said. I watched him as he went to the house. I took a deep breath. This wasn't supposed to happen. Part of me was happy Murtagh came, the other part felt guilty. I didn't even want to think about my future.

Max was still looking at me. I stared at his eyes. I gasped. No! I ran to the house, but it was too late. I should have known. Murtagh was standing over Dorian's dead body. Tears appeared in my eyes and I think I screamed. His sword was covered in blood and I heard Elisabeth crying in the other room.

My mind was a mess. I just stood there in shock. I don't remember moving or even breathing. It seemed like everything I knew was over. The time had stopped for me. I wasn't sure what I felt but it was horrible.

I didn't know how much time had passed until Murtagh grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the house. He was carrying Elisabeth with him and she was crying just like I was.

"Amarantha, come on!" Murtagh urged me to go but my body was rigid. I wasn't even controlling my body anymore. I felt nothing…

* * *

I don't remember what had happened after. I just know the dragon appeared. And I remember Murtagh held the children and he gave me the egg to hold it. The next the thing I knew, we were in some castle. I had no idea where exactly it was. I didn't care.

"Mommy, why are we here?" Elisabeth came closer to me. I was just sitting on the bed and staring at the wall in front of me.

"Mommy?" Elisabeth was worried "Where is Daddy?"

"Daddy…he's not here." I whispered and started to cry.

"Why are you crying, mommy?" Elisabeth hugged me and I pressed her tightly to my chest.

"Daddy went…somewhere." I said, choking on my own tears "We won't see him…for some time…"

"Why?" she cried "I want my Daddy!"

"Eli, honey…" I whispered to her ear and kissed the top of her head "I know you want to see Daddy…but he loves you and he'll take care of you…just you can't see him…"

"Why?" she looked up at me.

"I don't know, honey." I said "I don't know."

"Where is Max?" suddenly asked Elisabeth and I realized we were alone in the room.

It was a large room with a huge bed in the middle, which I was sitting on. There were even chairs and desk in the corner and two closets. Everything in the room was probably made with special care. The ornaments were amazing. The room was mostly white with black and dark brown details.

But where was Murtagh? Where was Max? I got up from the bed abruptly and headed for the door. I had no idea where I was going. I'd never been in that castle before. Elisabeth came after me.

We went down the hall, but every door I'd opened was wrong. There were more huge rooms, but they were empty. I wasn't even sure was someone there except us. Maybe Murtagh took his son and left me and Elisabeth in abandoned castle. I wouldn't have been surprised if he had done that.

After some time of walking through the dark hall, we came to one room even bigger than the others. How big this castle actually was? I couldn't even imagine. Or maybe I was just used to seeing small rooms of my house…my old house.

I was surprised; Murtagh was actually there. I gasped when I saw Max smiling at Murtagh. Elisabeth stared at them in shock, just like I did.

"Mommy, why is Max playing with the stranger?" Elisabeth asked and whispered "That man is dangerous."

"Why do you say that?" I was surprised.

"I saw it." she whispered "He was in my dream."

"Eli, what did you dream?" I got worried. Elisabeth had a vision about Murtagh. What if she knew more than I did?

"She dreamed nothing!" Murtagh laughed as he took Max into his arms.

My son seemed to be so happy. I looked at them nervously. Max didn't know who his father really was. And he still trusted people too much. But there was just no way to explain him that he wasn't supposed to play with people he didn't know. But then again, I'd told him Murtagh was a friend. My mistake.

"Where are we?" I asked "I have to talk to you."

"We're safe." he smiled "Well, I'm here…talk!"

"Not in front of my children." I said.

"Ok. Elisabeth, why don't you take your brother to your room?" Murtagh put Max down, while Elisabeth was getting nervous.

"You're not my Daddy!" Elisabeth yelled "Can't tell me what to do."

"You're right, sweetie." Murtagh's eyes shined dangerously and I bit my lip. She wasn't safe here.

"Eli, please, take Max with you. I'll be right there." I said and they left the room.

"How could you?" I said coldly, but he kept smiling.

"Relax." he said "You're just in shock. You should be fine in a week."

"Fine?" I raised an eyebrow "My husband is dead and you say I'm just in shock!"

"You don't know what he thought about you!" he seemed angry.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You know I can get into people's minds." he said "He was going to kill himself and your precious daughter."

"What? No! You're lying." I couldn't believe such a thing. Dorian would have never done something like that. He wasn't that kind of person.

"Fine. I didn't expect you to believe." he shrugged "After all, he was your husband."

"And what now?" I asked "What do you want from me?"

"Amarantha…" he got closer to me, taking my hand "Please, we have to try…give me a chance. Give _us_ a chance."

"Why would I do that?" I just couldn't let him do that to me again. But his hand was on my face and he smiled so beautifully…

"For our son." he whispered "For our…love."

"Alright." I knew it was probably another mistake. But I promised myself it would be the last one. I just had to know the truth. Every time I found a reason to hate him, he somehow made everything sound fake. I needed a chance to meet the real him.

I had to know was he good or evil. Or maybe both. This time for real; even I was sure my feelings for him would take over sooner or later. I still loved him.

"My love…" he smiled "You won't regret it."

As he was kissing me, I knew it was just another farce.

* * *

"You love Elisabeth more." Murtagh suddenly said while we were walking down the hall. Two weeks had passed by fast and everything seemed so perfect. But it wasn't like that. Elisabeth was avoiding Murtagh even more after we had tried to explain her what was going on. Actually we told her just that we wouldn't go back home. Max accepted it easily, if he even understood it. But he liked his real father.

"What?" I looked at him surprised.

"You love Elisabeth more than Max." he said.

"No, I don't." I said. I really didn't understand what he wanted with that.

"Can't you see it?" he said "You're all the time with her!"

"Don't you think I'm supposed to be all the time with her since she lost her father just two weeks ago?" I got upset. He had nothing to reproach me.

"Besides, Max is all the time with you. And I'm somehow sure you don't want to take care of my daughter too." I said. He looked at me for a moment.

"Why don't you join us?" he asked.

"Without Elisabeth?" I raised an eyebrow "I don't think so."

"We are a family now." he said.

"Really? And who knows about it? Just you and me?" I laughed "I believe your family is somewhere else, because I don't see _her_ here. You're not my husband, you know."

"I'll deal with that soon." he frowned "It's over. I want to be with you and not with Nasuada."

"Tell me, why did you want me back? Would you be here if Nasuada gave you a son?" I asked.

"There's no point to talk about that. It didn't happen." he said.

"You could have taken Max away from me anytime you wanted." I said "Why didn't you do it?"

"I promised you I won't come for him." he said.

"Oh, so you came for something else…always finding loopholes in your promises, aren't you?" I smiled "It doesn't matter actually. But if you just want Max, you can have him."

"You would leave him?" he was on me in a second, pressing me roughly against the wall. He looked furious.

"Stop, you're hurting me!" I yelled. After a moment of silence, he moved away from me. He was staring at the wall while I tried to recover. He was so strong he almost broke my arm. But I was glad he hadn't used magic.

"Do you love me?" he asked, looking at me carefully. I've lost the count how many times he had asked me that.

"Yes." I said.

"Then why do you want to leave me?" he said.

"Because I believe you don't love me. I think you just want your son and not me." I said "I don't want to live like that. Not after everything what happened between us."

"But I love you! I need you here." he said.

"Yes, you _need_ me." I said "Just I don't know what for."

"Max needs to have both parents." he said.

"And Elisabeth doesn't?" tears appeared in my eyes as I remembered Dorian.

"Elisabeth will be fine." he said "I promise nothing will happen to her."

What was that supposed to mean? What did his promise mean to me? That he wouldn't hurt my daughter? I was confused, but I knew one thing: he could never substitute Dorian in Eli's life.

"I'll give you a real second chance if you marry me." I said "And then we'll try to have a family."

"Why is it so important to you?" he said.

"I want to be happy. Not pretend I'm happy." I said "I've thought about this over and over. You can give me everything I want, but only if you really want that. And I need you to be Elisabeth's father too."

"She doesn't want it." he said.

"You have to try." I said "You're not doing anything to change her opinion, just making her hate you even more."

"But if I do that for you, then you start looking Max and Elisabeth equally." he said.

"Ok, whatever." I said "But I think we should stop planning things, because it doesn't go like that. I just can't…"

"You need to let me love you." he whispered.

"You don't know how to do that." I smiled. He was confused for a second. Then he realized what I meant.

"What?" he frowned.

"You don't know how to love...maybe you think you love me, but you keep ruining my life. You think only on yourself and you do only what benefits you!" I cried "You didn't have to kill my husband."

"But I did it for you…" he said desperately.

"No!" I yelled through tears "I never wanted that! If you loved me, you would have known I never wanted Dorian to die!"

He didn't say anything. He just walked away from me. I sank down to the floor, tears going down my face like a river. Someone touched my hand. I looked up.

"Why are you crying?" Max looked at me.

"Oh come here, baby." I hugged him tightly. I had to calm down and find Murtagh. I've told him something I wasn't supposed to. How could I possibly blame him for thinking only on himself, when I was doing the same?


	14. Chapter 14

Again; it happened again. I felt like I was living in some magical circle. I just couldn't find my way out. I guess every normal person would learn from their mistakes, but I forgot one important thing: I was far from normal.

I took Max to another room where Elisabeth was. They were both so strangely quiet while I prepared them for bed. I didn't even notice how late it was. When my babies were finally asleep, I went to look for Murtagh.

Why I just couldn't remember where to go? That castle was seriously driving me crazy! I decided to go right. Of course, it was the wrong way. I realized that a few minutes later. It annoyed me a bit but I tried to stay as calm as I could. I just needed to have my mind clear.

I looked in every room, at least I thought that. But he wasn't there. Where did he go? I panicked. Then I saw another door. Oh, finally! I entered the room…ok, at first I wasn't even sure it was really a room because it was empty. Dark, cold, stone walls and nothing more; it looked more like a small hall to nowhere. I felt the fresh and cold air on my face. Murtagh was sitting on the window ledge.

It was so quiet I could almost hear the beating of my heart. The moon was the only source of light. I didn't know what to say, but then he turned to look at me.

"How did you find me?" he asked. Oh, I just searched the whole damn place! I hate this castle! But of course, I couldn't say that even he probably heard it in my mind.

"Umm, I was looking for you?" I said nervously. Maybe it was cold, but my hands were sweating. I didn't know how to say what I wanted, and without making it sound like something completely different.

"What do you want?" he asked and looked away from me, staring somewhere far outside. The night was really beautiful, but it wasn't the right time to get distracted.

"I came to explain…" I said.

"Explain?" he laughed "Explain what?"

"I didn't mean what I said…" I wished he would at least look at me, but that didn't happen.

"No, absolutely not!" he said.

"Would you at least let me try to say it?" I was impatient.

"Why?" he said "What difference does it make?"

"Well, I…" I didn't know what to say. He really didn't care, or maybe he did? I wasn't sure. I could never guess what he was thinking.

"Do you really think I'm a cold blooded murderer who killed your husband and who would hurt you or your children?" he asked. There was a hint of hurt in his voice. Or maybe it was just anger.

"I… I don't think that." I said nervously. Why couldn't he just look at me for a moment?

"You say that…but you think your daughter is in danger near me." he said coldly.

"It's not about you." I said "She's my daughter. I have to be precautious. I don't know where the danger is until it's usually too late."

"Even with me?" he said "If you don't know me, then your love is just a lie."

"No!" I said desperately "But you said and did so many things to me…I don't have your ability. I don't know when you are lying or what do you really want! How can I know what you really feel? Maybe you're playing with me right now…"

"Huh, then you were right. I don't know how to love." he laughed bitterly.

"But I…I didn't mean it." I almost yelled.

"You did and you still do." he said. I closed my eyes for a moment. Why was I even trying?

"Then prove me wrong." I said.

"I'm trying, but you don't let me!" he said, finally getting up and looking at me.

"The only reason why I can't feel comfortable near you is because you're so unpredictable and your father…" I said.

"Oh, again my father!" he yelled "What he has to do with anything?"

"They say you're just like him." I said and shivered. Pissing off a Dragon Rider wasn't really the best thing to do.

"_They?_" he raised an eyebrow "And you believe everything people say?"

"I don't know." I said.

"Do you really think I would like to see someone suffer like I did?" he was furious and he was getting closer to me. I took a step back. He looked at me and leaned on the wall, apparently trying not to make me even more frightened. His face was again like a perfect mask; expressionless. Only his eyes were showing the fire deep inside of him.

"I'm sorry." I said, tears forming in my eyes "But in my world you have to believe what others say because it's safer like that. I'm not brave enough to check it on my own…"

"So, I'm like some wild animal everyone told you to stay away from?" he smiled bitterly.

"Ye…no!" I said. But it was almost like that, if you think better about it.

"Well, you can't escape me now." he said.

"You see! You're doing it again!" I said "Why do you have to sound so dangerous?"

He bit his lip. Did he even know he was doing it?

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"Umm…" I tried to say something but I felt sharp pain in my head "Max!"

"What is it?" Murtagh was holding me in his arms in a second. The room was still spinning around me.

"Max!" I choked, looking around the room in panic.

"What with Max?" Murtagh was worried.

"Where is your sword?" I looked at Murtagh.

"I… I think I left it…" he was surprised by my question "…in my room?"

"You think?" we looked at each other and ran out of the room and down the hall.

"Amarantha!" he called. Of course, I missed the door. When we ran into the room, I gasped.

"Max!" I yelled. My son was standing near the desk and trying to pull something down. I thought I was going to faint; he was trying to pull the sword belt. In that moment Murtagh hurried and took Max into his arms before the sword fell down.

"Oh, that was…." Murtagh wanted to give Max to me but my hands were shaking too much. I was still trying to catch my breath. This was just more than shocking.

"Max, what were you doing?" I finally recovered, but then the anger took over me "How many times I've told you not to leave the room?! You were supposed to be sleeping!"

"Amarantha, it's not his fault!" Murtagh pressed the boy closer to his chest.

"He could have gotten killed!" I yelled. I couldn't even imagine that happening, and it was so close…But I refused to think about it.

"It's my fault." Murtagh said "I shouldn't have left Zar'roc here, knowing someone could enter the room."

"Well…!" I was mad, but I wasn't sure on whom anymore "If something had happened…"

"But it didn't." Murtagh said calmly "You see, we have to be together to keep our son safe."

"What?" I wasn't angry anymore, but then I was confused.

"You'll see if something bad is about to happen, and I'll be there to stop it." he said.

"Oh." I said. That actually made sense.

"Mommy, are you mad at me?" Max asked; his bottom lip quivering.

"Oh, no. I'm not." I smiled at him "Now I'm mad at your daddy."

"Wait, what for?" Murtagh raised an eyebrow and then laughed. I looked at him for a moment but all my attempts not to laugh failed.

"Okay, okay!" I said "Let's take Max back to bed."

* * *

"Murtagh, stop…" I whispered as he was kissing me. He looked at me curiously.

"What?" he asked.

"Will you have to go soon?" I look deep into his eyes; even I knew I probably won't find the truth there.

"I'm not going anywhere. It's better like that." he said, moving away from me. Obviously, he didn't want to talk about it.

"But Nasuada must be looking for you!" I said "Do they know for this place?"

"No." Murtagh said "I protected this place with magic. Unless someone remembers it, which is hard…they'll never find us."

"Oh." I said "So, are we prisoners of this castle?"

"What?" he thought my way of seeing things was funny. But I didn't laugh.

"Are we going to stay here forever?" I asked "Without leaving this castle? If we can't get out of here, then we are in prison."

"You can get out if you want." he said.

"But only if I don't go far from the castle, right?" I said. For the first time in my whole life, I knew I was right.

"Umm, yeah…but…" he tried to find a good way to explain it.

"No!" I said "I can't live here forever...away from the world. No, I just can't!"

"This is the safest place for us." he said "Max and Elisabeth are in danger if we are near other people."

"I want my life back." I said and he frowned, probably not understanding what I meant "I want to live in a normal house where I can actually find my way around and be there in time if necessary."

"I like this castle." he said "You'll like it too after some time."

"This is your life. Not mine." I said "I thought I wanted this, but now I don't like it. You're used to life in huge castles and being alone….and I…I just miss that feeling of being home, really home, and I miss my friends, even my boring neighbors."

"Amarantha…" he put his hand on my face "You're so naïve. Your neighbors and friends would be the first ones to betray you if someone came looking for you."

"But if you leave sometime and I stay here alone…I'm still defenseless." I said "Same like there."

"I won't leave you." he said.

"You don't know that." I complained "Maybe something will happen…"

"I'll teach you some magic." he said.

"Oh, please." I rolled my eyes "That would be like teaching a cow how to speak!"

He laughed. Ok, that was a bit funny. I smiled.

"You're not that stupid." he said.

"Oh, I'm not _that_ stupid…so, you think I'm stupid?" I raised an eyebrow. Maybe I was stupid, but someone who loves you isn't supposed to think that, right?

"Do I have to answer that?" he laughed. I jumped on him like I was going to strangle him, but instead we kissed.

"Can't we just go somewhere nice?" I asked.

"We can't. Someone could see Thorn." he said "That's why we need this castle. It's big enough to hide him too."

The dragon; I knew I forgot something! I was so glad I hadn't seen him for some time, so I forgot he was there. Oh, that meant I haven't been out for a while…

"Can't you just leave the dragon somewhere?" I asked. I really didn't get the dragon-Rider relationship. Weren't dragons just animals who Riders kept for power and long life? I really hoped Murtagh wasn't reading my mind; he was so sensitive when it came to Thorn.

"Would you leave your child somewhere?" he asked; his face completely serious. Oh, I asked the wrong question.

"No." I said "But dragon isn't exactly a child."

"But he's part of the family." Murtagh said. Family? A dragon? Right. I almost rolled my eyes, but I had to be careful. No matter how many times he repeated it, I still didn't get it.

"Ah, whatever." I said "We stay here then. Even it's not completely safe."

"How not completely safe?" he asked surprised.

"Lily could find me." I said.

"Lily?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I haven't seen her lately but you never know with her." I said "If someone offers a reward to find you…she might realize we're together and find me. I'm not sure it would mean something to her that she was Selena's friend. And she doesn't like you, I think."

"Aren't you wearing protection I gave you?" he frowned. I looked at the weird necklace I was wearing.

"Yes, I have it." I sighed "But does that really mean something?"

"Just don't take it off, ok?" he said. Stupid magic! I had to wear stupid necklace because of it!

"Yeah, yeah." I said "But who was here earlier this week?"

"Oh, yeah." he said "A guy who brought us some food and things we needed."

"Huh. And you trust him?" I was suspicious. He was so careful about this all and he let some guy to come here? Yeah, right.

"He's a friend of mine." Murtagh said.

"Sure. He would never betray you…and my family and friends would." I smiled bitterly.

"He's different." Murtagh said "He's not some ignorant villager."

"Oh." I frowned "Is that so?"

"He knows a lot about magic and not so many people knows him actually." he said. Oh, I was amazed. He had his Lily too. But every time I remembered Lily, I felt like I was in danger. It was a strange feeling, but I couldn't really understand why I felt like that. Lily never tried to hurt me or did she?

"What's his name?" I asked.

"I can't tell you." he said. Wow. Secrets in our relationship. Again.

"Why not?" I felt offended. Why he couldn't trust me with this?

"It's better that you don't know." he said "It's safer."

"Fine!" I crossed my arms "You don't have to tell me anything!"

"Don't be mad." he smiled, gently touching my face. I sighed. He kissed me softly. I was really defenseless against his touch and that smile…he was able to break the ice just smiling like that. And my heart wasn't even made of ice. My heart belonged to him.


	15. Chapter 15

I knew what I had to do. No matter what Murtagh had said, I just couldn't leave it like that. I had to know whom did he trust more than me. Maybe I was an easy target for magicians, witches and Riders, but didn't he say I was well protected?

I didn't know when was the mysterious man supposed to come back, but I decided I would try to see him. I hoped Murtagh hadn't lied to me about the person's gender. But I couldn't really blame him for cheating, could I? He wasn't even my husband.

I expected the guy would come in a week, but I guess I missed him. Maybe Murtagh read my mind and warned him? Mind reading ability was again messing up my plans.

"Mommy!" Elisabeth's yelling woke me up from my thoughts. I abruptly got up from the bed and looked at her. I bet I had that stupid look on my face.

"Mommy!" Elisabeth looked offended.

"Yes, honey?" I smiled.

"You didn't hear me." she sighed "Now I won't tell you."

"Eli!" I went over to her and hugged her. She calmed down after a moment and smiled at me.

"Mommy, I had a dream." she whispered. I gasped. My daughter had a vision? What if something bad was about to happen? I panicked. What if it would be too late this time?

"What did you dream?" I asked nervously.

"A woman." she said.

"Who?" I was surprised. Why would Elisabeth dream a woman?

"I don't know." she shrugged.

"How did she look like?" I asked.

"Her face was dark." she said "Her skin looked weird."

"Nasuada?" I asked myself. But it still didn't make sense.

"Who?" Elisabeth looked at me curiously "Mommy, you know her?"

"Umm, yeah." I said "But tell me. What did you dream about her?"

"She was here." Eli whispered.

"What?" I panicked "Here? Are you sure?"

"Yes." she said "She was in my room!"

"What happened then?" I asked. I didn't know what to do. Why I didn't get a warning for this? Was Nasuada really coming here?

"I don't know." she said and smiled "Mommy, will you play with me?"

"Not now, honey." I said "I have to find Murtagh. This could be important."

"Why?" Eli crossed her arms "You don't want to play with me!"

"Honey, it's not that!" I said "We'll play later."

"No!" Eli almost screamed at me, tears in her eyes.

"Eli, please." I said "Your dream might come true."

"No, it won't." she looked at me surprised "Mommy?"

"Nothing, honey. Forget it." I forced myself to smile. Did I really have to ruin my daughter's life by telling her that her dreams are something more horrible? How could I possibly explain it to her? Hey, honey! Your Mommy is cursed and you inherited it! Congratulations! No, I couldn't say that.

"Will Max play with me?" she asked.

"Go find him." I said and she ran out of my room happily. I took a deep breath, hoping that Elisabeth's vision wouldn't come true.

* * *

"Murtagh!" I finally found him. He was in one huge room full of books and everything in there was mostly covered with dust. I hated that castle even more; it wasn't just too damn huge, but it was also dirty. I wondered could the mysterious man clean.

"Amarantha." Murtagh didn't really seem amused by seeing me.

"Elisabeth had a dream of Nasuada. Here." I said "What if it really happens?"

"Did you have the vision?" he looked at me curiously.

"No." I said.

"Your daughter is inventing things." he said calmly.

"Excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow "How do you mean? She's never seen the woman in her life! She said the woman had a dark skin."

"And you assumed it was Nasuada?" he laughed softly.

"Well…" I reconsidered it "She's the only one with dark skin who is looking for you. And she will come here!"

"No, she won't." he said confidently "Thorn would warn me."

"But she also has magicians by her side!" I said "What if she found a way how to hide from you?"

"Why don't you calm down?" he got closer to me, gently putting his arms around my waist "You're safe here."

"But…" I wanted to say something but he kissed me. In that moment I forgot about everything. All my worries disappeared so easily.

* * *

The mysterious man came the day after my daughter had a vision. I knew he was coming because Murtagh kept going out on the terrace and checking something out. Then he just disappeared somewhere.

I walked down the hall, carefully checking each room. I really hoped I was going to find them. But knowing my luck with finding the right place, the man would probably be gone by then.

Suddenly I heard voices coming from the kitchen. I got closer to the door, but I couldn't really see inside because I was too scared they would notice me.

"…she is looking for you." the man said.

"I can't let her find us." Murtagh said "Even though I would like to talk to her."

"And that woman? Max's mother?" the man said "What with her?"

"I don't know." Murtagh said. I bit my lip not to say something. How did he mean he didn't know? I was upset. This sounded just wrong.

"You're coming with me." the man said.

"Alright." Murtagh said. I heard them moving, so I ran down the hall. I hoped I misunderstood them, because I didn't really hear much. Where were they going? Was Murtagh going to take us all somewhere? I had too many questions.

I stopped in the middle of the hall. I actually wanted them to see me; Murtagh probably knew I was there by then. Suddenly I screamed; the pain in my head. No!

"Amarantha, get the kids!" Murtagh was already standing next to me. He sounded worried and I just stood there in shock. I didn't know what to do, but Murtagh pushed me forward and we both ran to the room where the kids were.

I wasn't sure where we were going, but I followed Murtagh because he was able to tell where the kids were by finding their minds. I didn't even know what exactly was going on, but what I saw made me scared.

If my vision was true, there were nine men and a woman coming here. The woman was Nasuada and she looked very angry. The men who came with her were those who wanted to kill Murtagh! Why was she with them? It didn't make sense because they were all traitors and murderers.

I heard noise coming from another part of the castle. They were here! I panicked. Murtagh gave me Max, and Elisabeth was standing by my side already. I heard them coming. It was too late. We couldn't escape.

The door crashed down and I stood there with my kids in the middle of the room. Some men were already down. I realized Murtagh was taking care of that. But I realized Nasuada wasn't with them. She was probably waiting outside. My heart was racing so fast and my hands were shaking. Max was crying.

Suddenly one of the men raised a sword in his hand, and threw it at me. I couldn't feel my legs! I couldn't move! Few seconds before the sword hit me, Murtagh jumped in front of me. I screamed. He fell down on the floor; blood was everywhere in a second.

I started to cry, pulling Max and Elisabeth closer to me. So that was it. The end. I stared at the man in front of me, when he suddenly fell down. It was the mysterious man! He killed the rest of our attackers. I put Max down and hurried over to Murtagh.

"Murtagh!" I touched his face. He looked so pale and the sword was still stuck in his stomach. I didn't know what to do. Was I supposed to pull the sword out? But there was so much blood already! He smiled at me weakly and then closed his eyes.

"Murtagh! No!" I cried. Why couldn't he just heal himself? Was it really so easy to kill a Rider? No! He couldn't be dead! I hated myself for even thinking that. Someone pulled my hand.

"Move!" the man told me and I stepped away. I finally got a chance to see who that was, but in that moment I didn't really care. He took the sword and pulled it out; something I just wasn't able to do by myself. Then he raised the sword and studied it.

I wanted to strangle that man! Why was he staring at the damn sword instead of taking care of Murtagh?

"It's poisoned!" the man exclaimed and I gasped. Poisoned? Someone tried to kill me or my kids with a poisoned sword? This was just too much. But now I understood why Murtagh couldn't use magic after that.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, thinking on Nasuada. Was she still there or she ran away when she noticed her men are not coming back? The man kept whispering something in ancient language and I could see light coming from his hand. He was trying to heal Murtagh's wound.

"Come! Fast!" the man said after he had finished. I didn't move, because Murtagh still didn't look any better. Sure, the wound was healed but he didn't wake up!

"Come!" the man grabbed my arm roughly and Max and Eli were right next to me.

"Where?" I asked.

"Outside. The dragon is waiting for us there." he said. My eyes widened. Wait a second, wasn't that dragon supposed to warn Murtagh before this happened? What if this man was a traitor? But what would he want from us? We didn't have anything to give him.

"Amarantha, take your kids and run! Now!" he yelled at me. Wow, a man who didn't know me actually, called me by my name. I decided I should listen to him. Everything was better than staying here. My kids will have nightmares for years because of this!

Avoiding the dead bodies and the blood, I took my kids to the door. I looked back for a second at Murtagh. His lips were moving, which was a good sign.

When we ran out of the castle, I saw Thorn right there. Stupid dragon! He actually growled at me. Oops, he knew what I was thinking too? Oh, great. My mind was open for anyone! But Max pulled away from me and ran straight to the dragon!

"Max!" I yelled, completely petrified.

"Relax." the man said behind my back. I jumped.

"What?" I looked at him. He was actually helping Murtagh to walk.

"Thorn is your friend. He won't hurt your son." the man smiled. Oh, right. Tell me about it.

"Where are we going now?" I asked "Where is Nasuada?"

"To a safe place." he said "Nasuada is no longer here. She ran away with her magician helper. They realized they don't have a chance alone. They expected you would be alone."

"Oh." I was relieved but Murtagh still didn't look good. My kids didn't have any problem with climbing onto Thorn's back. I think it even amused them. I just took a deep breath and sat with them.

"Wait, where are you going?" I looked at the man as he moved away from Thorn, still helping Murtagh to stand.

"Thorn will take you to my house. He knows the way." the man said "I have to take Murtagh somewhere first."

"What? No!" I said "Why doesn't Thorn take Murtagh to that place you're talking about?"

"Because then he would have to fly too low. Murtagh could die if Thorn gets too high." the man said "Besides, I haven't asked you anything. You're going."

"No!" I complained. Who was he to tell me what to do? Besides, how could I trust him, not even knowing his name? He might be taking Murtagh somewhere to kill him! Or give him to Nasuada! But before I got an answer on my questions, the man gave a sign to Thorn and the dragon rose in the air.

I was scared to death while we were flying. I knew I was completely defenseless in front of the dragon. I also thought about that man with gray brown hair and dark blue eyes. Who was he? He seemed older and probably a magician. Why Murtagh trusted him so much? My impression was that the guy was just some rude noble.

Yeah, he seemed to be rich. His clothes looked very expensive and his sword had some ornaments carved in its blade. But when Thorn landed in front of a small cabin, I almost died laughing. Everything that man owned was probably stolen. I didn't know was the man more dangerous because of that fact.

I took Eli and Max with me and got closer to the cabin. It seemed like we were away from the world because there was nothing around for miles. It seemed like a good hiding place…for a criminal.

* * *

The cabin was really nice from the inside. Very simple and clean. At least I had where to sit down and think about things. Max and Eli were tired and confused, so I took them to the first room with a bed. I was actually surprised how such a small cabin actually had two rooms.

I was getting bored after some time. Kids were sleeping and I couldn't relax. I had to know what was going on, but there was no way to find out.

"Amarantha." I heard a voice behind my back. I was so frightened that I turned around in a second and almost fell down.

"I'm sorry." the man smiled "I didn't mean to scare you."

"How did you…?" I was shocked. He couldn't just appear out of nowhere! I was staring at the door whole the time!

"I came through the back door. It was easier to get to the room." he said. Oh, I was so lost in my thoughts that I haven't heard anything!

"Murtagh?!" I gasped.

"You can come to see him." the man said and I immediately hurried to the room. I knelt down next to the bed. Murtagh's eyes were closed. His skin was still so pale and he looked like he has a fever.

"How is he?" I looked at the man, who was standing next to me.

"Unfortunately, I can't tell you." he said "The poison is strong, even for him. I've done everything I could. Now we can just wait."

"Wait?" I ran my hand through my hair nervously. Then I looked at the man.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Oh, sorry. I haven't introduced myself." he smiled "You can call me Gerald."

Gerald? Was that even his real name? Well, at least I got to call him somehow besides mysterious man.

"Come with me." he said "Murtagh won't wake up soon."

I got up and followed Gerald back to the room that was actually a kitchen. I didn't know much about anything, but I knew Murtagh had to survive. And I had to ask _Gerald_ a lot of things.


	16. Chapter 16

"So, Gerald…" I hesitated because I still didn't believe that man "How come you're Murtagh's friend?"

"What?" he smiled at me "He's not supposed to have friends?"

He was making fun of me. I realized I was probably just a stupid village woman for him, who knew nothing about things. Oh, wait. I was exactly that.

"I didn't mean it like that." I said uneasily. For some reason he was making me really, really scared and nervous.

"I'm sorry." he said "I know you didn't mean it like that…you just had a hard day."

"Umm, yeah." I said. He tried to sound nice but I still couldn't relax around him. But there was nothing I could do even if he was a bad guy.

"You don't trust me." he said. I shrugged. Well, hello! He wasn't my friend so there was actually no reason for me to trust him.

"I'm here to help you." he said "But maybe you just need more time to meet me."

"Right." I said more to myself than to him.

"Well, since you asked…" he said "I've known Murtagh for a long time now."

"You have?" I was surprised. Now if he could just define long…

"Oh, yes." he said thoughtfully, like he was trying to remember something that had happened ages ago. Oh, come on. Murtagh wasn't _that_ old.

"Of course not." he laughed and I jumped. He was reading my thoughts! I panicked. Well, that was really nice thing to do if you wanted to gain someone's trust. Huh.

"I'm sorry." he said "It wasn't my intention to read your mind…I just got so used to do it around people so I forget I'm even doing it."

"Uh, could you try not to do it again?" I asked, even I knew he was probably just going to be more careful about me noticing it.

"Sure." he smiled "So…I began to tell you how I'd met Murtagh before he ran away from Galbatorix and before he became a Dragon Rider."

"Are you a Dragon Rider?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"Ah, no!" he said "I'm a magician…and oh, well, I've been doing some other things…"

Oh, like murderer? Thief? Rapist? I looked at him curiously, waiting for his reaction. But his face remained calm. Or he really stopped reading my mind or he was really good at controlling his expression.

"I hid Murtagh from Galbatorix." he said proudly "And we made some other important plans."

"Oh." I said. That wasn't exactly the part I wanted to hear. Always some kind of plans that include my favorite topic of all: magic. I didn't really get what he had to do because I actually didn't know much of Murtagh's history and maybe it was better like that.

"Do you have a wife?" I asked. It was just a question to stop him from talking about magic or something similar that included things I wouldn't understand. But his face darkened and I regretted asking it.

"I had." he said quietly "She was killed."

"Oh, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have…" I said. So much about asking the usual questions I used to ask people in my village.

"It's okay." he said, trying hard to smile "Galbatorix killed her…and now he's dead too. I guess he got what he deserved. Maybe that's partly a reason why I helped Murtagh in the first place…"

You see! There is a reason! You could have told that earlier. I sighed. For once my stupid question was useful.

"Why did Galbatorix do that?" I asked. Honestly, I didn't really get it why would Galbatorix kill someone's wife without a reason. Or maybe there was one?

"She worked as a maid in the king's castle…" he said "One night he wanted too much from her…she fought him…"

"Do you have kids?" I wanted to change the topic a bit because I started to feel sorry for the guy. Maybe he was lying and Murtagh wasn't around to help me make a decision about Gerald. If that was his real name, anyway.

"Yes, I have a daughter." he said. I raised an eyebrow before I could stop myself. He had a daughter? I immediately had another question in my mind.

"How old is she?" I wondered, considering that Gerald's wife was killed some time ago.

"Ah, she's your age." he said. Oh, great. I tensed. If Gerald was Murtagh's friend then that girl was probably near him! I wasn't supposed to be jealous, but I couldn't help myself.

"Where is she now?" I asked.

"She lives in one village with her husband and kids." he said. I hoped her kids were all her husband's kids too. It just made me more nervous, but not every family could be like mine, right? Maybe I should stop asking family related questions.

"Where did you take Murtagh actually?" I said "I mean, before I left with Thorn you said you had to take him somewhere first. Where?"

"To a healer. She's been my friend for a long time now." he said.

"Oh." I was surprised "And you trust her she won't tell anyone Murtagh is here?"

"Yes, I do." he said "She swore it to me in ancient language."

"Good." I didn't know what else to say.

"Oh, and I have something for you." he suddenly went through his bag to get something.

"Get that away from me!" I yelled as I realized what he was holding. It was the green dragon egg. I completely forgot it was in the castle and I guess Murtagh told Gerald to get the egg before they went out.

"Shh." he said "You'll wake up the kids."

"I don't want that thing near my son." I said, looking at the egg like it was some kind of monster. Well, the monster was inside actually. I didn't want my son to be a Rider. I didn't want any of my children to be involved with magic and those creatures.

"But your son will probably be a Rider." he said.

"Why?" I didn't know what else to say.

"His father is a Rider. I think that will be enough." he smiled at me, putting the egg back to his bag. I relaxed a bit, but it was still freaking me out there was that stupid egg in this house. Could those eggs be broken somehow? Would the dragon jump out then? Huh, stupid mysterious dragon eggs!

"You won't give the egg to my son, will you?" I was worried "Please, don't do that…"

"Don't worry." he said "I won't give the egg to your son now. He's too young to be a Rider already and it would put him in lot of danger."

You see, there it was! Danger! And lot of it. Suddenly I got to a weird conclusion in my head and tears appeared in my eyes.

"What's wrong?" Gerald got closer to me, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"We will never have peace." I whispered through tears "Many dangerous people will try to find my son and kill him…and if Murtagh doesn't…oh, no…I don't know what to…what to do."

"Don't worry." he said "Murtagh will be fine. You'll see. He won't let anything happen to you or your son."

* * *

"Murtagh, please wake up!" I was sitting next to Murtagh's bed, hoping my voice could make him open his eyes. But his condition remained the same. His face was so pale he looked like he was…no! I wished I could stop my brain from thinking.

"Mommy?" Elisabeth came into the room and sat on the floor next to me.

"Hey, Eli." I said quietly, trying not to cry.

"Mommy, do you love him?" she looked at Murtagh.

"Yes." I said. She frowned a bit.

"I thought you love Daddy." she said.

"I did." I said, not really knowing how to explain it "But now I love Murtagh."

"Why?" she looked at me. Huh. That was a good question.

"It's something that can't be explained." I said. I didn't think anyone ever explained what love really was. She kept looking at me and shrugged.

"Mommy, will all my dreams come true?" she suddenly asked.

"Honey, did you dream something again?" I panicked. I wasn't ready to face another catastrophe.

"Umm, yeah." she said uneasily.

"What did you dream?" I looked deep into her eyes.

"I dreamed Daddy was back." she said. I let out a sigh of relief. Apparently, she didn't realize yet the difference between dreams and visions. But there wasn't exactly a way to explain it to her.

"Ow, honey." I hugged her "I know you miss him. I miss him too."

I wasn't lying. I missed Dorian a bit. He was my husband for years and I really loved him, until I met Murtagh who turned my world upside down.

Suddenly I had a strange feeling someone was watching us. I looked up at the window and shrieked. There was a huge eye at the window and Gerald ran into the room in alert.

"It's just Thorn." he said while I tried to stop shivering from pure fear.

"What is he doing…?" I managed to say after some time.

"He's just worried about Murtagh." Gerald said it like it was the most normal thing ever.

"He's a dragon!" I said before I realized it didn't mean a thing. That dragon was maybe closer to Murtagh than I was…just perfect.

"I thought you got used to dragons since you're in love with a Dragon Rider." Gerald smiled.

"Umm, not really." I said "I don't…I can't see the dragon as a…friend or something."

I was actually more than sure my opinion wouldn't change. Dragons were still dangerous creatures because they were huge and powerful. Plus, they could burn you with the fire. If they thought like humans, then it made them even more dangerous. And if they used magic too…I shuddered at the thought.

"Well, you'll get used to it when you'll have two dragons in the family." he grinned at me.

"Don't!" I said. I didn't want to imagine that, but my brain didn't listen. Me between the two dragons…oh, dear. Then I noticed Gerald got closer to check on Murtagh and he didn't look pleased by what he was seeing.

"Is something wrong?" I forgot about anything else, but Murtagh. I ran my hand through my hair; something I've been doing every time I was nervous. And I was way beyond nervous and worried.

"This is not good." Gerald placed his hand on Murtagh's forehead "If he doesn't wake up soon, I'm afraid…we'll loose him."

"No!" I gasped.

"He's not recovering like we've expected." he said "Find a way how to wake him up. Thorn didn't."

"Oh." I didn't know what that was supposed to mean. But before I could ask anything, Gerald was out of the room with Elisabeth. Find a way how to wake him up? Huh. It really didn't make any sense. Gerald was the one using magic and he was out of the room! Thorn was probably the closest one to Murtagh and he didn't succeed.

What was I supposed to do? Was this some weird way Gerald wanted to tell me to say goodbye to Murtagh? I was desperate.

* * *

"Murtagh, my love…please, wake up!" I kissed him, hoping a miracle would happen. His lips were dry, almost cold. I started to cry uncontrollably.

"No, you can't leave me!" I yelled at him, but he didn't even move on that. Of course, his chest was moving but his breathing wasn't really strong. I noticed someone was standing in the room and I looked up to see Max at the door.

"Mommy?" Max said quietly.

"Max, come here." I said and he slowly got closer. I hugged him, but tears were coming down my face in a river.

"Daddy?" Max touched Murtagh's hand. I closed my eyes. This was making me feel dizzy. I heard a loud roar from outside. I opened my eyes in panic and ran out of the room. Gerald stared at me equally surprised.

After few seconds of silence, I ran back to the room. Max was sitting on the bed and…Murtagh's eyes were opened. I blinked in disbelief. I got closer to the bed, still staring at Murtagh who actually tried to smile weakly at me.

I started to cry again, but this time because I was too happy. I actually stopped crying while I was shocked, but I hadn't realized it before the tears came again.

"Murtagh!" I kissed him gently "I thought…"

I stopped in the middle of the sentence. No, I couldn't say that. I was almost sure he was too weak to read my mind, so I relaxed.

"Love…" it was all he managed to say, but I smiled at him. I looked through the door to see where Gerald went. I realized he was outside, trying to calm down Thorn who was so happy he almost crashed into the house to get to see Murtagh.

I finally managed to stop crying. I was happy, but deep inside me there were mixed feelings. What now? Murtagh would recover, of course, but there are still people who wanted us dead and they were really dangerous. What we were supposed to do? Where should we go?

There was another thing that bothered me. Maybe I imagined it, but Murtagh woke up when Max came to the room. He didn't wake up when I was there. Did that mean he didn't really love me? Oh, I was being silly. Like I would prefer Murtagh dead rather than him loving Max more than me. I bit my lip; enough with stupid conclusions! It was better to enjoy the moment and that was exactly what I did.


	17. Chapter 17

Murtagh was recovering pretty well and I was glad it was like that. We didn't have time to waste and Gerald knew that. We had some kind of a meeting at night in Murtagh's room while the kids were sleeping.

I wasn't really sure why I was there since I didn't really participate in making decisions, but I guess they didn't feel like answering my questions later.

"They are looking for you…all of you." said Gerald.

"Tell me something I don't know already." Murtagh sighed "I don't see the way out of this. Maybe I should go talk to them."

"No!" Gerald and I yelled at the same. Suddenly everyone was staring at me and I just smiled stupidly. It was a moment to say something smart, a good reason, but I wasn't really sure I had one. I just didn't want to be alone. Not a good reason, right?

"If you go talk to them, they'll kill you." said Gerald. Oh, why I couldn't come up with that one? Never mind, it was a good reason.

"Then where can we go?" Murtagh said "They'll find us no matter where we go."

"You have to be smart." Gerald said and I bit my lip not to laugh at the expression on Murtagh's face. I expected Murtagh to do or say something but surprisingly he didn't. If I said something like that, there would be a whole drama.

"I don't know." Murtagh said after some time of silence, looking at the floor. I frowned a bit. Murtagh was supposed to protect me and the kids and he didn't know how? That didn't sound good, and it didn't even sound like him. He always had a solution for everything, at least when it came to something he wanted.

"Amarantha?" Gerald called my name before I could start panicking again how Murtagh didn't care a bit about me.

"Yes?" I said, unsure why he was asking me something. I didn't really count on it. But today everything seemed weird.

"Will you stay with Murtagh no matter where he goes or what he does?" Gerald asked. I blinked. What? It seemed like an eternity passed while my brain processed the question. Was this like a marriage question? I realized Murtagh was staring at me and I just didn't know what to say.

"You don't trust me." said Murtagh. He sounded really upset and I wasn't sure was it because of love or because he had some plans that included me. I was conflicted again; I wasn't sure could I really love someone without trusting him.

"Is that true?" Gerald suddenly took my hand and looked deep into my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but I was so nervous that I started to cry.

"Damn it, Amarantha!" Murtagh was frustrated, startling me even more "I know what you're thinking, just say it!"

"Murtagh! You're upsetting her!" Gerald said angrily "Leave us."

I wasn't sure what was going on or what was Gerald trying to do. But Murtagh rolled his eyes and went out. I calmed down a bit and stared at Gerald in alert, because he was still touching my arm.

"There you go." Gerald smiled "You got what you wanted!"

"What?" I said. I didn't have any idea what he was talking about.

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about." he said "You wanted to know does Murtagh really care for you like you want him to. So, here it is. He got upset because you didn't trust him, which means he cares about you."

"No." I whispered. He was reading my mind all the time. I tried hard to concentrate on something, because I heard that's the best way to keep your thoughts for yourself. But the more I tried, it was harder not to think and everything I tried to hide was visible even better.

"Oh, I'm sorry if I shocked you." he said. No, not at all! I wanted to run out of the room and yell at someone. Actually I wasn't shocked anymore, I was angry.

"Are you trying to say you asked me a stupid question just to see Murtagh's reaction because you knew I didn't know the answer?" I said, forgetting how to breathe for a second.

"Yes, exactly." he smiled like it was an ordinary thing.

"But why?" I couldn't remember a good reason, so I just had to ask.

"Because you need to be sure in your feelings for him." Gerald said. Oh, and Murtagh didn't need that at all! I would be sure in my feelings, if he was in his. I guess.

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow. I had to clear this up.

"Well…you two can't do anything right if you don't trust each other completely." he said "You won't come alive out of this."

"But now he doesn't trust me!" I still didn't think his idea was a good one.

"I'll explain it to him." Gerald said "He'll understand. The only thing that matters is that you two have better relationship."

"And why do you care?" I looked at him coldly, finally moving away from him.

"Can't you just thank me?" he said "I'm trying to do you a favor."

"Yes. And I want to know why." I said "What do you want?"

"What do I want?" he laughed a bit. I thought it wasn't funny.

"What will you gain with all this?" I said. Oh, come on. People who used magic usually had a reason, personal reason, for everything they were doing. It didn't matter if it was revenge for something, getting more power or some other reason…but there was always a reason.

"Well…there is something I want…" he said hesitantly. He hadn't planned on telling the truth, I suppose. I closed my eyes for a moment, wondering what he could ask for.

"Money?" it was the first thing that got on my mind. I mean, he was a magician so he could already get whatever he wanted and this house was pretty small…could magicians _make_ money? I didn't really know much about that.

"No." he seemed a little bit hurt by my assumption. But that wasn't my problem, anyway.

"Then what do you want?" I wanted to know without having to guess because I knew that would take too long.

"I want to stay with you." he said.

"What?" I stared at him with wide eyes.

"After the danger passes, I want to stay with your family." he said. Oh. I blinked. Wait, what?

"I don't…I don't understand." I said.

"Let me explain it." he said, trying to touch me again. What was his problem? I waved my hands in front of my face, trying to tell him to stay away from me. He got the message and kept his distance. I sighed. What did I get myself into?

"Why don't you tell this to Murtagh?…I don't really…" I said.

"Well, I wanted to ask you after you're safe, but since you realized there is something…" he said.

"Why are you asking me?" I said "I don't have anything to do with it."

"Yes, you do." he said "I would like to be your son's teacher."

"What?" I managed to annoy myself with all that shocked expressions on my face, but I guess it was that kind of a day "You want to be my son's teacher?"

"Yes." he said "Your son will be the best prepared Rider ever."

"No." I said after I realized what he wanted "I've already told you I don't want any of my children involved with magic."

"I can also teach him some other things, not only magic." he said.

"Even if I let that happen, which I won't…but still, wouldn't Murtagh do that?" I said.

"It would be better that I do that, since I have more experience." he said.

"But you're not a Rider." I said.

"That's true." he said "But I know about magic."

Well, that meant a lot to me. I almost laughed.

"I'm not sure Murtagh would approve that." I said.

"That's why I'm asking you." he said. Oh. Great. Just great. I was so _honored_.

"And why do you think I have a word in that decision?" I asked.

"He loves you and obviously cares what you think about him." he said "If you insist…he'll have to listen to you."

"So you know he would refuse, right?" I sighed.

"Yes." he said.

"I thought you were friends…great friends." I said. But then again, Murtagh probably wanted to be with Max all the time.

"This is the only thing he wouldn't do for me." he said.

"Well, I would love to help…but that's really not my problem." I forced myself to smile.

"I would also be your daughter's teacher." he said "You don't want that your daughter gets less attention than your son, right?"

I thought about it for a moment. He was right. Maybe there was something good about this after all.

"It's true Murtagh can take care of your son, but then he will be spending most of his time with him and not you or your daughter." he said.

I had to admit the man found my biggest weakness; my daughter. She had to have everything like Max because Murtagh killed her father, so it was at least something…even nothing could make it up for her.

Plus, Murtagh would get closer to Max and away from me, and that would make me unhappy. Maybe it was just because of me, but that wouldn't hurt anyone, right? It would just help my daughter. Besides, Murtagh would probably never give up the idea of our son as a Rider. I just had to deal with it. Somehow.

"I'll see what I can do." I said. It was the time to leave the room. I didn't want more problems.

"Think about him." Gerald said just as I was about to open the door.

"What?" I was seriously getting sick of having to ask everything. I wasn't a damn mind reader! Why people just couldn't remember that?

"When you talk to him about this idea…think about him." Gerald said "It will help you concentrate better on what you're saying so you don't think about our deal. And there is a chance he'll stop reading your mind."

"Umm, thanks." I said and left the room. Oh yeah, thinking on Murtagh would definitely help…but not really if I wanted to say something.

* * *

I was wondering had Murtagh overheard my conversation with Gerald but I guess Gerald would have known that. I went to the room where kids were. Like I expected, Murtagh was there. He was lying on the bed and Max was sleeping with his head on Murtagh's chest.

I smiled to myself. It was such a lovely sight. Murtagh's eyes were closed but I wasn't sure was he sleeping or not so I got closer to the bed. He opened his eyes.

"Hey." I smiled at him "We need to talk."

"Not now." he whispered, kissing the top of Max's head. I glanced over Elisabeth's bed and I really hoped she was asleep. I couldn't even imagine how she felt. I knew she was missing her father a lot, especially when Murtagh was with Max. But there was nothing I could do about it.

Suddenly the door opened and Gerald entered the room. Gerald and Murtagh looked at each other for a moment in silence. Were they talking? Reading each other's mind? I sighed. Stupid magic and stupid mind readers!

I really wondered why Murtagh always read wrong things in my mind. Or maybe my mind was a mess, so reading it was easy but getting the real idea complicated. Oh, wait a second. What idea? I never really had an idea.

I got back to reality when I realized Murtagh and Gerald were looking at me. I smiled, like I always did in this kind of situation. I just didn't know what I was getting with that. Trying to make them look at my face and not in my mind? Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I decided to get busy. I walked over to Elisabeth's bed, fixing the covers. I looked at my daughter's face and tears appeared in my eyes.

"Amarantha." Murtagh put his hands around my waist and I jumped a bit because I hadn't heard him getting up. He kissed my neck gently and I moved away from him.

"What's wrong?" he whispered. I was sure he knew damn well what was wrong, but he probably thought it was better to ask. Like that would make me feel more comfortable.

"Come with me." I took his hand and led him out of the room. I couldn't risk my kids hearing what I was about to say. When we were standing outside the house, I wiped away my tears. The air was cold but nicely fresh. I took a deep breath while Murtagh looked at me expectantly.

"Murtagh, I…" I said, and he smiled.

"It's alright. Gerald explained everything." he said.

"Oh, right." I said "But there is something else I wanted to tell you."

"What?" he said.

"It's Elisabeth." I said "It's just not fair…I looked at her face and she looked…she looked so sad."

"She can't forget her father." he said indifferently "It's a normal thing."

"Normal?" I said "No, it's not a normal thing! Not in this case! You were there with Max…like her father used to be with her…and that made her even sadder."

"And what do you want me to do?" he said "Max is my son."

"Actually, I don't know." I said "But after this is all over…I want to be your wife. Legally. And I want our children to have a teacher. Both of them."

"A teacher?" he raised an eyebrow "What for?"

"Because I say so." I crossed my arms. Why would he always get what he wanted without explanation or questions? I could do that too. At least once.

"Really?" he seemed amused.

"I'm not joking." I said, but he kept smiling "You owe me and you know it."

"Huh." he finally stopped smiling.

"It's the only way you can try to make it up a bit for Eli." I said "And me."

"Alright." he said "But who could be the teacher? We can't trust anyone."

"Gerald." I said "You obviously trust him."

"But he…" Murtagh frowned a bit.

"He what?" I smiled "Why don't we go to ask him?"

"Wait, why don't we solve this on another way." he said "I can take care of Max, and Gerald of Elisabeth…if he wants to, of course."

"No." I said "That wouldn't be fair. If we want to have a family, I want you to be Elisabeth's father too. I know she doesn't want it and you can't substitute her real father but you can try…at least to be friends. And I don't want to remind you every moment about it. I've told you all this before and you hadn't done anything."

"Alright." he said "Whatever."

"Great." I smiled. He got closer to me, looking at me curiously.

"Umm, about what you're thinking now…" he smiled, kissing me gently "I thought we could…"

"Here?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Come." he took my hand and we ran to the woods.


	18. Chapter 18

"You know, this won't last forever." I said to Murtagh as we were walking back to the house.

"What are you saying?" he looked at me carefully.

"This moment of…happiness, calmness…" I said "It will go away."

"Yes." he said thoughtfully "But we will…"

"Don't." I smiled sadly "They are coming."

"What?" he suddenly stopped, putting his hands on my shoulders and looking deep into my eyes "Have you seen something?"

"Not yet." I whispered, tears forming in my eyes already "But I know they are coming. And you know it too."

"I will stop them." he said "Our enemies won't have an easy job."

"Do we even have a plan how to do it?" I looked at him.

"Yeah…" he hesitated "We're going to talk to them."

"Talk?" I raised an eyebrow "Do you really think they want to talk to us?"

"We'll make them listen to us." he said confidently "Besides, Nasuada is not evil."

"Huh." I frowned a bit. I didn't like it when he mentioned that woman because she was still his wife. And her soldiers came to kill us!

"Amarantha." he said "I know you don't like her, but she knows she can't just come here without us seeing her coming. She will want to talk. It's the only way."

"Well, that's…comforting." I smiled dryly.

"Amarantha!" he said "Don't be so pessimistic!"

Oh, yeah. Sure. Let's dance and have a party until they come to kill us! I didn't want to listen to him anymore. I simply walked away.

* * *

Gerald was waiting for us in the house. He looked surprised when he saw me coming without Murtagh.

"Where is Murtagh?" he asked. He almost looked worried. I wondered what he thought that had happened.

"I don't know." I shrugged. Gerald gave me a weird look. I thought he was reading my mind. Oh, well. I didn't look back to see where Murtagh went so he couldn't find anything. I wasn't lying.

"Amarantha!" Gerald called my name and I flinched.

"What?" I looked at him in surprise. Why did he have to yell my name if we were already talking and I was standing next to him? Something was wrong. Just I couldn't figure it out what.

Suddenly a huge wave of pain passed through my head. Of course, it was followed by images of things…the future. I don't know how long it was happening, and the darkness came so suddenly.

I tried to open my eyes. My eyelids felt heavy. I blinked. The first thing I could see was Murtagh's worried face above me. I looked around. Gerald was standing in the corner of the room and smiled at me. I was confused.

"What…?" my voice came out weird and my throat felt dry and sore. Seriously, what the hell happened?

"Shh." Murtagh smiled at me "It's alright. You don't have to say anything. Just think anything you want to say to me."

Oh, how nice. Mind readers love to use their ability on me. But, hey, I couldn't complain. This time talking felt too hard. I looked at Murtagh carefully. What happened?

"You had a vision." Murtagh said "Do you remember what it was?"

No? I didn't really remember anything. That was strange. I got worried. I just had to remember it! There is no way I could forget a vision!

"You don't remember anything?" Murtagh looked at me and then at Gerald. Gerald just shrugged. I thought about it for a moment. Wait. Hadn't Gerald called my name before it happened? I looked at him suspiciously.

"I realized you were going to have a vision." Gerald said casually "Your mind felt different few moments before the vision."

Oh. I tried to sit up in the bed but it wasn't so easy because everything was spinning in front of my eyes. I took a deep breath. Did Gerald see the vision in my mind?

"No." Murtagh said "It seems like your mind changes a bit during the vision, so no one else can see it."

Well, whatever. That wasn't strange. Of course my mind changed if something different was going on. But couldn't they see it after?

"Usually we can." Murtagh said "But you don't remember and we can't find anything."

They've been reading my mind and searching…oh, how awesome. But why was my throat hurting so much?

"You were screaming. A lot." Murtagh smiled at me.

So, I had seen something that made me scream. But why couldn't I remember what it was? I frowned. Did I see my own death in the vision and that was why I couldn't remember it? Was it so horrible that I didn't want to remember it?

"Don't worry." Murtagh said "I'm sure you will remember it."

And what if I wouldn't? What if it was all work of our enemies? I tried to get up when I saw Elisabeth and Max running into the room. I wondered did everyone hear me screaming. Maybe they heard me miles away. No, probably not. But close.

"Mommy!" Elisabeth brought me a glass of water. I smiled at her. My daughter knew what I needed better than my supposed protectors. I looked at Murtagh and smiled and he moved away from the bed a bit.

"Eli…" my throat actually felt better after taking a few sips of cold, refreshing water.

"Mommy, why were you screaming?" Eli sat on the bed next to me.

"Elisabeth, let your mother recover first." Murtagh said. I glared at him. Would he ever change?

"It's ok." I managed to say somehow, but Eli looked like she was about to cry. I wanted to hug her but she moved away and went to stand next to Max who was just looking at us.

"I'll take care of the kids." Gerald said and led them out of the room.

When we were alone I looked away from Murtagh. I hate you!

"I'm sorry." he said.

"Not enough." I said, hoping he would understand what I meant. I didn't feel like saying the whole sentence out loud. And it probably didn't look nice in my mind. Damn, I couldn't edit my thoughts before he heard them.

"I'll be more careful." he finally said. I really hoped he meant it. But was that really important? Something was about to happen and I didn't know what! It annoyed me so much that it could be any minute and we would be helpless. Ok, I would be helpless.

* * *

Two days had passed by and nothing had happened. No one tried to kill us or reach us. Not that I minded, but still…my vision stayed a mystery. I couldn't remember anything. Not even a bit. It made me crazy. I couldn't think about anything else.

"Amarantha, you can't keep thinking only about what happened." Murtagh said. Oh, really?

"Why not?" I said "It might be important!"

"We will know if someone comes." he said "Stop worrying. You're making the kids nervous."

"Um, I'm making you nervous?" I said.

"Yeah…you're making everyone nervous!" he said and smiled.

"Sorry, can't help it." I said and he rolled his eyes "What? I can't!"

"Right." he said, kissing me gently. He put his hands around my waist.

"Are you trying to distract me from my thoughts?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe." he smiled "Did I succeed?"

"I don't know." I said "What was I thinking about, anyway?"

"Ah, my love." he said "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Umm…you would have fewer things to worry about. Maybe you would be happy with your wife…." I was really hoping he would stop me.

"Great, Amarantha." he said "I wanted to make you feel better and you ruined it."

"Yeah, well…I tend to do that." I said "But if I can't remember my vision…"

"There you go again." he moved away from me.

"I was thinking…if I can't see my vision, maybe you can't see our enemy." I said.

"I'm not that….stupid!" he said. I guess I offended him. You just can't say anything to a Dragon Rider.

"I know…" I said "I just want you to be careful."

"Why don't you just get out of this room and go play with the kids or something…?" he asked.

"Why don't you play with them?" I said.

"Like you said, I have to be careful." he grinned at me.

"Right." I frowned "I'll stop thinking and go play with the kids."

"Good." he said.

* * *

"Mommy, I dreamed something." Elisabeth told me. I smiled. I didn't really expect she had a vision. I haven't really explained her the difference. Maybe because I wasn't even sure how to do that.

"What did you dream?" I smiled at her.

"I dreamed too." Max was obviously trying to get my attention. I smiled at both of them.

"Hey! I said it first!" Elisabeth was upset.

"Eli, it's ok." I said "I'm listening."

"I dreamed you, mommy." Elisabeth smiled.

"Me?" I said.

"Yes." she said "I dreamed I had a sister!"

Oh. I tried really hard to smile at that and I hoped this wasn't a vision. We didn't have time for another baby! It was probably just Elisabeth's desire to have someone to play with…another girl and not Max. She wasn't really close to Max as I wanted.

"That's…nice, honey." I said and looked at Max "What did you dream?"

"I don't know, mommy." he stared at the floor.

"Max?" I said. I wanted to know did he invent that he had a dream or something else had happened.

"I don't know." he looked at me. I frowned.

"Amarantha?" Murtagh came behind my back, starling me. I moved away from the kids and took Murtagh's hand, taking him out of the room.

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"I don't know." I said "But do you read Max's mind like you read mine?"

"No." he said "He's my son!"

"And I'm what?" I frowned. That really wasn't nice.

"Ok, ok. Just tell me why you are asking that." he said.

"Can Max have visions?" I asked. Was it possible that my curse passed on all my kids? It was like a damn disease!

"Yes." Murtagh said. I glared at him.

"Since when do you know?" I was angry "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to upset you." he said "Besides, Max is too young. He doesn't really understand it."

"Oh, great!" I didn't know what else to say.

"Besides, I thought you won't find out." he smiled. I wanted to hit him. But try to do that to a Dragon Rider. He would just move away. At least he knew I wanted to do it.

"Max told me he had a dream and that he doesn't know what it was." I said "Could it be the same thing I…"

"Probably not." he said "But I can check."

"Ok. Do it." I said.

"But, you know, I won't be able to read our son's mind whenever we want soon." he said.

"What?" I was surprised.

"I'll teach him how to block people from doing that." he said "I think it's important."

"Oh." I said "Are you going to teach him how to read other people's minds?"

"A Rider needs to know that." he said.

"So, my son will be able to read my mind?" I gasped. So not a good idea.

"Don't worry." Murtagh came closer to kiss me "I'll find a way how to protect your mind too. You'll be just mine."

"Huh, nice." I rolled my eyes "What is so exciting about reading my mind?"

"Well, if you could protect your mind by yourself, you wouldn't be in this situation." he smiled.

"Awesome." I smiled bitterly "Why did I have to fall in love with a Dragon Rider?"

"That's a mystery." he said.

"Yeah, right." I said "I'm just afraid…that I missed something important. And Max maybe…"

"If anyone is coming, I'll know." he said "I told you that already too many times. Why can't you believe me?"

"Because…you know." I said "And where will we go if you see they are coming and it's too late?"

"Thorn will take you away." he said "But only if they mean harm to us."

"You'll stay." tears appeared in my eyes.

"Yes." he said "I can take care of myself."

"But how will you know what they want?" I asked.

"When I see them coming…I'll go to meet with Nasuada." he said "I'll try to talk to her."

"What if she kills you?" I said.

"No, she wouldn't do that." he said.

"Really?" I said "How are you so sure?"

"She loved me." he said "Maybe she still does."

"You ran away from her…to be with me." I said "You have a son with another woman."

"So?" he looked at me.

"So?" I raised an eyebrow "You hurt her feelings! She wants me dead…her soldiers came to kill me. And my children…Maybe she wouldn't kill you. But she almost did last time..."

"They can't get here unnoticed." he said "We will be prepared."

"Right." I smiled bitterly.

"Amarantha…" he hugged me.

"Alright. I believe you." I sighed "Just don't disappoint me, please."


	19. Chapter 19

"Amarantha! Wake up!" I heard someone saying my name but I didn't feel like getting up. I couldn't even open my eyes. Was it morning already? I had no idea. I just knew I didn't get enough of sleep.

"Amarantha, come on!" it took me a moment to realize it was Gerald's voice. What the hell did he want?

"Damn it, Amarantha!" I heard Murtagh's voice and then felt his hands grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. Okay, now that wasn't nice! I blinked.

"What?" I managed to say just to stop Murtagh from hurting me. I hoped he had a good reason for this.

"Nasuada is coming." he said, trying to sound as calm as he could. I opened my eyes wide and sat up in the bed.

"You could have told me that earlier!" I stared at both him and Gerald. They just looked at each other and Gerald shrugged.

"Where are the kids?" I suddenly felt a wave of panic coming over me. Nasuada was coming…Gerald and Murtagh were here with me…oh, great! Leave the kids alone in danger! I wanted to scream.

"Hey! Calm down." Murtagh said "They're safe."

"How do you know?" I almost yelled at him.

"They're not here." he said.

"What?!" I frowned. Part of me hoped I was just dreaming.

"I sent them with Thorn to a safer place." said Murtagh. I thought I was going to faint.

"You…sent…my kids…with…a dragon?" I was shaking with anger.

"Don't worry." he said "Everything will be fine. Thorn can take good care of them."

I tried to picture that. A huge monster taking care of…no! This was just beyond horrible. I had trouble breathing. There was pain in my chest…or maybe I imagined it. I suddenly looked at Murtagh.

"How much time do we have before they come here?" I asked.

"Half an hour. Maybe." Murtagh said. Maybe? Huh. That sounded comforting.

"Well, I suppose you're not planning to die today." I smiled bitterly. I had to convert my anger into something else.

"What?" he looked at me in surprise.

"Umm…you're sure you won't die today." I said "Or there's something I don't know?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." he frowned.

"Oh, you do." I said.

"No. Tell me." he looked deadly serious. Maybe he didn't know.

"You let the kids go alone with the dragon…" I said "If you die…the kids stay alone."

Hm. Maybe that was a better option? But then again…I couldn't imagine Elisabeth and Max completely alone somewhere…and lost! Why I didn't have a vision about this? Or did I maybe? Was this the horrible thing I couldn't remember? I gasped. Murtagh seemed to realize what I was worried about.

"Nothing will happen to them or to us. I swear." he said.

"Why didn't you send me with them?" I asked. Something seemed so wrong about that. Wasn't I supposed to go with the kids? I would keep them safe. And I couldn't do anything to help here.

"I need you here." he said.

"Huh? What for?" I was surprised.

"You are the only one here who can't hide thoughts." he said.

"What that has to do with anything?" sometimes I really didn't know what he wanted from me.

"It's the only way Nasuada can know we just want to talk." he said. I thought about that for a second.

"What?" I really wanted to hit him. How did he dare? I just couldn't believe he didn't ask me anything…Nasuada was going to read my mind and that just…wasn't right!

"I'm sorry." he said "But letting her into my mind or Gerald's would put us in danger…if something goes wrong."

"No." I glared at him "No!"

"There's nothing you can do about it." Murtagh wanted to touch my arm but I moved away.

"You…you can't do this to me!" I yelled, tears forming in my eyes "You can't let her see my thoughts…about me, you, us…and you didn't even ask me if that was okay!"

"If you knew how to protect your mind, you could have an opinion…now it's just decided." he said indifferently.

"I hate you." I said through tears. If he had to choose between hurting my feelings and getting what he wanted…well, we all know now what he would choose.

"Forget it." he said "Nasuada is coming so it wouldn't be nice you keep looking like a hysterical lover."

That was it. I didn't want to see him ever again. I walked past him to the front door. I wasn't planning to return. I opened the door and there she was. Great.

"Hey." I smiled bitterly at Nasuada who just looked surprised. I wanted to say she could have her husband back but I didn't. I just stood there at the door, looking stupid. My eyes were probably red, but I wasn't crying anymore.

"Nasuada." Murtagh was next to me, putting his hands on my waist and gently pulling me away from the door. I didn't feel happy about him touching me but there was nothing I could do about it. She entered the house and I looked better at her. She was beautiful. I sighed. This is going to be long. And I was sure at that moment that I prefered Murtagh staying with me.

* * *

Nasuada refused to check my mind; she said she trusted us. Or better said, she trusted Murtagh. I was sitting in the corner of the room, watching them talk. They were mostly talking about the Empire and the future. Apparently, ruling a country wasn't as easy as I thought.

I was thinking about my children. They were alone with a dragon who could eat them at any moment he wanted, and I was uselessly sitting here. I tried to concentrate on the boring conversation just to stop having ugly pictures in my head.

"Are you sure about this?" Nasuada looked at Murtagh. There was something strange in her eyes...she looked sad, but there was a sparkle of hope. She still loved Murtagh. That's why she didn't come here with the best magicians and soldiers.

She came alone; her helpers were waiting for her somewhere near but they weren't here. Even the last time she had tried to kill us all, she probably changed her mind. Or she realized she couldn't kill me without killing Murtagh, so she gave up her original idea. But she also trusted Murtagh not to kill her, which was a bit annoying because she believed he loved her.

"I'm sure, Nasuada." Murtagh said "I have a child with her."

"I know, but…" Nasuada was almost pleading "I would never try to separate you from your son."

"Right." I smiled bitterly "And I'm a butterfly."

"Amarantha, please." Murtagh looked at me. I didn't like this. Did he really want to have a private conversation with her in front of me? And expect me not to say anything? Well, I hoped he would at least realize he should have sent me with the kids.

"No." I said "She sent her soldiers to kill me and the children. You almost died because of that!"

"That was a misunderstanding." Nasuada glared at me "I apologize."

"You apologize?" I laughed "Don't you realize? You could have killed us all!"

"Gerald, take her out of here." Murtagh said to Gerald who was just sitting there and listening.

"No." Gerald said it before I could "If you really want to marry her, then she has every right to be here."

"Fine!" Murtagh was a bit upset.

"You should listen to both of us." suddenly said Nasuada "Then decide what you want to do."

"Alright." Murtagh said "Nasuada you have the word first."

I hated the way she smiled at him. She was so sure of herself. And this whole thing sounded stupid to me. What was this? Choosing who has a better offer?

"I love you, Murtagh." Nasuada said "I want you to come back with me. We can defeat our enemies together. And your son can come with us. I can give you anything you want."

I wanted to strangle her right there on the spot. She didn't bother to ask was it okay with me to take my son away.

"Amarantha, do you have anything to say?" Murtagh looked at me.

"You know what I think about this." I said "If you choose her over me…you can forget you have a son."

"But you don't even know where he is!" Nasuada sounded amused. Damn! So much about her refusing to read my mind!

"You really think I wouldn't find you?" we both stood up at the same time from our chairs and stared at each other.

"Even if you find us, you don't have any power to do something." she smiled wickedly.

"True." I said "But I'm not afraid of you. My son would come to me."

"You should be." I couldn't even realize what she was doing when I saw the knife in front of my face. I gasped, but before I could do something she stabbed me. I fell to the floor. Murtagh was already holding his sword under Nasuada's neck and she was laughing like a mad woman.

Gerald took me into his arms, inspecting the wound. His fingers touched my chest. The pain was horrible. It felt like someone was tearing me apart. There was nothing more I wanted more than to close my eyes. Only seconds had passed but to me it was like an eternity.

"Amarantha, no! Don't close your eyes!" Gerald was yelling to me.

"She's gone!" yelled Nasuada "Come with me, Murtagh!"

"What have you done, you crazy woman?" Murtagh yelled at her, still pressing his sword to her neck. She had dropped the knife to the floor.

"You made me like this! You!" she laughed at Murtagh's face "I came here, hoping you reconsidered your decisions. Apparently, you love her or you wouldn't be so upset right now. Well, too bad it's too late. If you kill me, everyone will know…and they'll come for you."

"Murtagh!" Gerald yelled "We're loosing her! The wound is too close to the heart!"

"Heal it, damn it!" Murtagh yelled back. I felt something ticklish inside my chest and I would have laughed if I could. I still wanted to go to sleep. It was too hard to keep my eyes open.

"Amarantha, stay with me!" Gerald yelled "Murtagh, come here! I can't do it! It's not working! She's dying!"

I heard something like a scream. I wasn't sure anymore what was happening. The room around me was blurry and I closed my eyes without realizing it. Suddenly I felt some energy coming to me.

I opened my eyes a bit. Murtagh was holding me in his arms, one hand placed on my chest over the wound. There was light coming from it. But I still couldn't breath right. I felt like I was going to choke. It was a horrible feeling. My whole body felt weightless and I couldn't move.

"Murtagh, don't." Gerald said "She won't make it."

"I'll heal the wound!" Murtagh yelled nervously.

"Murtagh, you're going to die if you keep on like this!" Gerald tried to push him away from me, but Murtagh didn't let go of me.

"No! Amarantha!" Murtagh's breathing was too fast and his hands were shaking. He wasn't going to make it. I was dragging him with me and I didn't want that.

"Murtagh…" I managed to say it. I could feel the taste of blood in my mouth.

"Don't speak." he whispered to me.

"Let me go." I whispered, unsure could he even hear me. There were black spots in front of my eyes, or maybe it was just Murtagh's hair. I felt him close, kissing me. I wanted to kiss him too, but it was impossible. I couldn't see him anymore. All I could see was darkness; black, cold and strangely comfortable.

I wanted to tell Murtagh to take care of the kids. I wanted to find my way out of the dark, talk to him…but I was lost and alone.


	20. Chapter 20

One beat. Two beats. Three beats…

It was my heart. I could feel it beating fast in my chest like it was going to jump out. Suddenly, I became aware of my own body. It was a strange feeling; painful.

There was some strange force making me breathe. And I did try to breathe, but it was so hard. The pain. Just horrible, sharp pain in my chest and nothing more. The darkness was still around me and I wanted so badly to get out of it.

Once again, I tried to open my eyes. Ouch. This time I succeeded, but the light blinded me. Great. Why are we always trying to reach the light if we can't look at it? My eyes adjusted after few moments. The room around me was not so bright and full of light as I thought. That was good actually.

"Don't move." someone said next to me, but too late. The pain passed through my body like a lightening when I moved my head to my right side. I felt like it was going to choke me and I wanted to put my hands on my chest, but I couldn't move them. I panicked.

"Amarantha! Don't!" I recognized Gerald's voice "Stay calm, please."

I knew I couldn't speak, but I wasn't even trying. Gerald could read all my thoughts and answer all my questions, at least I hoped so. I tried to remember what had happened to me. I saw images of Nasuada…the knife…pain… I would have screamed if my body was listening to me.

"Amarantha, listen to me!" Gerald said "She's gone! Don't think about it. You'll ruin all the effort…"

Murtagh! Where was he? What had happened to him? Wasn't I dying? How did he…?

"He's here." Gerald said almost accusingly "He almost died because of you."

What? My breathing became so fast that it hurt, but what was this little bit more of pain? I had to look around the room. I tried to move my head to the other side. I wanted to be stronger than the pain. Right. The darkness came back before and I was grateful for it.

* * *

I don't know how much time I was asleep. I woke up, desperate for a drink. Gerald came closer to me, bringing me a glass of water. This time I was glad he could read my thoughts or I would have never gotten what I wanted.

Gerald helped me to raise my head and pressed the glass to my lips. Water felt amazing in my mouth, so cold and refreshing. But my throat hurt badly when I tried to swallow it. I still wasn't in condition to control my movements. My hands and legs felt so heavy.

Murtagh saved my life, probably healing the wound. But wasn't I supposed to feel like nothing happened after being healed by magic? Or maybe magic wasn't what I thought it was?

"You weren't just wounded." Gerald said, answering my thoughts "You were dying. It takes a lot of energy to bring person back to life. You can't have a perfect spell if you don't have from where to cast it."

Oh. I heard stories about healers. Apparently, it could have killed you if you tried to do something like that…I gasped, despite black spots in front of my eyes. Murtagh!

"He's been sleeping since he healed your wound." Gerald didn't seem to be pleased with everything that had happened, but I couldn't blame him for that "Just you woke up already twice, and he didn't."

But I didn't want him to heal me! I didn't ask for it! But then again, I was glad he did. No matter how much I tried to convince myself I didn't want Murtagh to die saving me, my death seemed a lot worse option. And when I remember I wanted to end my life some time ago…how stupid I had been! Just imagine what would have happened if I had succeeded…

Murtagh saved my life already too many times. I was being so damn lucky. But if something happened to him…

"I told him not to do it. But I guess only he knows why he had risked everything…including his own life…for you." Gerald said, but this time without anger or hatred. It was just a plain statement. He realized he couldn't hate me for Murtagh's choices.

"Ah…and if you want to know, Max and Elisabeth are here. They are sleeping in the other room." Gerald said "You should rest more. You weren't supposed to be as hurt as you are at the moment…so it's better to be cautious."

Great. The dragon didn't eat my kids. That was relief. Could this be the end of our troubles? I had enough of craziness for my whole life. If we could just have a nice, normal life like every other normal family…ah, whatever. Normal wasn't the right adjective for our family anyway. I just wanted us alive…nothing else.

A week had passed by before I could sit up in the bed and move my arms. I was still in pain, but after so much time of being hurt…I guess I just forgot how it was not to be in pain. If that was possible…

* * *

Murtagh recovered faster, of course. He was taking care of the kids while I couldn't. But he refused to talk to me about what had happened. He just kissed me and told me we would talk about it when I felt better.

"Murtagh, you've got to tell me what happened! Please!" I said one night when he came to see me "I'm going to try to get up from this bed tomorrow, so it's a sign I feel good enough to hear the story."

"Then I'll tell you tomorrow." he smiled, gently kissing me.

"No! Tell me now." I said.

"Sorry, but I think I won't be able to remove that scar from your chest." he switched the topic so fast that I couldn't even realize it.

"What?" I stared at him in shock. I remembered the ugly white line on my right breast "Why not?"

"The wound was too deep." he said, looking a bit sad.

"Ah, whatever." I said.

"You're not angry?" he sounded surprised.

"Angry?" I raised an eyebrow "Why would I be angry?"

"Because of the scar." he said.

"You saved my life. You risked your life for me again. You think I could be angry because there is a scar left?" I smiled.

"Umm…yes?" he smiled too.

"But don't avoid the topic." I said "I want to know what happened to Nasuada."

"What do you think happened to her?" he asked; his face expressionless. He wasn't going to make this easier on me.

"I saw blood on the floor in the other room when Gerald opened the door. But the blood could have also been mine." I said. It actually took Gerald some time to clean the blood off the floor. He wasn't really happy about doing it.

"I cut her head off." he said coldly, watching carefully my face. I froze a bit. I stared at the face of my future husband, father of my son, a cold-blooded murderer…But Nasuada almost killed me. I would have done the same. Ok, I probably wouldn't succeed in doing it, but I would have tried. Maybe.

"Good." I said. Just hoping I would never be Murtagh's enemy. I don't think he would think twice about killing me if I did something he didn't like. Maybe I was overreacting.

"Do you want to marry me?" he suddenly took my hand and stared deep into my eyes. I was so surprised that I stared at him with wide eyes, not really realizing what was he asking. I took a deep breath.

"Yes." I said "But under one condition."

"What condition?" he frowned a bit.

"I don't want you to get involved with the Empire's politics again." I said. He looked away from me.

"Murtagh." I said "They'll never leave us alone if you try to take over the Empire again. You know that."

"But Nasuada is dead and I was her husband. The throne belongs to me." he said.

"No." I said "I want you to renounce the throne."

"No!" he said "I won't give them what they want! I won't let them win! I'm not a coward!"

"It's not like that." I said.

"I can make the Empire strong…and there is no one better to be the king than a Dragon Rider." he said.

"Then forget it." I said quietly. He looked at me.

"Don't do this to me." he said "I saved your life…"

"And you're sorry now?" I smiled bitterly, tears forming in my eyes.

"No!" he was upset "I'll do anything you want, if you let me do this."

"No." I said.

"I can keep you safe. You don't have to be the part of it." he said.

"Why do you want that so much? Why?" I asked.

"Because I can do it!" he said.

"I know you can do it." I said "You don't need to prove it."

"You don't understand things like that." he said.

"True." I said "I don't care about the politics because I don't know anything about it. But I also feel there is a reason you want this…and it's not a good one."

"There! You said it yourself!" he said "You don't know anything about it!"

"That's not the point!" I said "You're doing it just to prove something to someone! And I don't like it because it puts us in danger!"

"You won't tell me what to do!" he said.

"I'm not trying to!" I rolled my eyes "Choose what is more important to you…me and the kids…or proving something you don't have to!"

Murtagh was about to say something when the door opened and we both looked at Gerald.

"What do you want?" Murtagh said, obviously annoyed. Gerald frowned.

"Murtagh, I want to talk to you." he said.

"Not now!" Murtagh rolled his eyes.

"Well, it will be now!" Gerald said.

"I'm having an important conversation with Amarantha." Murtagh was a bit angry.

"Oh, really?" Gerald looked at me. I smiled stupidly, not knowing what to say. I really needed more time to decide who would be less pissed by my answer.

"Well, it doesn't look like it." Gerald finally said "Come with me, Murtagh. Now."

Murtagh glared at me and left the room with Gerald. Great. I stared at the wall for a moment. No, I couldn't just stay here not knowing what they were talking about. I had to get up from the bed, even it included walking to the door after. Murtagh and Gerald had told me that my recovery wasn't supposed to be so slow.

But, come on, how was I supposed to walk around like nothing had happened if the pain came back to my chest with every step I made? I didn't know why it was happening to me; probably Murtagh did something wrong while healing me…not that I would admit thinking on that. Happy to be alive, remember?

But there were some things I didn't know about and I wanted to know. I was wondering what had happened to Nasuada's helpers. Weren't they supposed to come to attack us if she didn't come back? Murtagh and Gerald were so careful to keep me away from truth.

I got up from the bed. I stood there for a moment, waiting the dizziness to pass. Obviously, I was lying in bed for too many days. The only steps I made were with Murtagh's help. I took a deep breath and started walking slowly.

The way I walked reminded me of the time when Elisabeth and Max were learning how to walk. Funny. I almost laughed, but realized Murtagh and Gerald would hear me. Actually, if they were careful enough to check my mind all the time, then they already knew what I was doing. My only hope was that they were too busy with their conversation.

I got to the door, leaning on the wall next to it. I opened it a bit and concentrated on the voices. What I heard made me gasp. Damn. They heard that. There was silence in the other room and then someone walked to my door. I pressed my back to the wall, completely nervous.

I could have said I just wanted a glass or water…or to see the kids. But all my excuses were unnecessary because they already knew I was thinking about it. Murtagh pushed the door open and looked at me.

"Amarantha, you need something?" he raised an eyebrow. Gerald came right behind him.

"Actually, yes. I need to tell you something!" I said, tears forming in my eyes "You are a monster!"

"I thought you already knew that." he smiled, but I was too angry to think.

"Yes…but this! This is just…too much!" I yelled through tears "How could you? How…?"

"You wouldn't understand it, my love." he wanted to hug me, but I pushed him away. That effort revoked the sharp pain in my chest and I fell to the floor.


	21. Chapter 21

"No! Don't touch me!" I yelled at Murtagh when he tried to help me.

"Amarantha, what's wrong?" he looked at me like I was crazy.

"How could you do it?" I stared at his eyes.

"I didn't have time. It was the only way to stop Nasuada's helpers from attacking us." he said.

"But send them her head?" I cried "No! That's what crazy people do! That's what…monsters do!"

"You're overreacting." he said "Look, I saved your life. I killed Nasuada even I didn't want to! Her helpers could have killed us all…but I managed to scare them away."

"Couldn't you do it…I don't know, differently?" I said.

"Why do you care?" he said "Well, I guess I should have let them kill us all…if that would have made you happier?"

I stared at him for a moment, still sitting on the floor. The pain was fading away a bit, but I knew it would be back as soon as I moved. Maybe he was right. Why was I feeling so bad about it then?

Nasuada seemed to be a good woman when I first met her. But that was before Murtagh. Oh. That didn't sound nice. Would I go mad after all of this? Maybe. But then again, Murtagh was probably in love with her at some point. This was harder for him than for me.

But he did it all to save me. That meant much. It really wasn't time for making panic about that tiny little detail. The Empire was without their queen and Murtagh was still the king. We had more important things to worry about.

"I'm sorry." I said "I guess I was overreacting. But now I know you won't give up the idea of being the king."

"You're right." he said "I made my decision."

"Right." I sighed. This made perfect sense. The king could only be a person everyone is afraid of. And who's more dangerous than Dragon Rider who killed his own wife? Of course, no one had to find out she tried to kill me.

"I didn't plan it." he said "But it ended up being very convenient. But there's something I have to ask you."

I managed to get up from the floor slowly, letting him take my hand.

"Yes?" I said.

"I want you to be my wife and stay with me." he said "Despite me being the king."

"I've told you my opinion about that." I said. He took my hands and looked deep into my eyes.

"Amarantha, I assure you I won't let anything happen to you. And this is something that I want." he said "Maybe, for a second, I wanted to do it for wrong reasons but now I'm sure…"

I glared at Gerald who was standing in the corner of the room, watching our show silently. Somehow I was sure he said something to Murtagh about this whole situation. He wanted Murtagh to be the king.

"Why?" I asked Gerald, moving away from Murtagh.

"What?" he looked puzzled. I couldn't really tell was he just pretending or not.

"You know what." I said accusingly.

"No, I don't." he said casually.

"Okay, play the stupid! Why do you want Murtagh to be the king?" I said.

"Because that's what he is." Gerald smiled.

"Oh, really?" I raised an eyebrow "Didn't you think how dangerous that position is?"

"It's not more dangerous than not being on that position." he said "Do you really believe the enemies would leave a Dragon Rider alive?"

"But why would they want to kill him if he's not the king?" I started to feel tired again, but I couldn't let this go.

"You really don't understand anything, do you?" there was something strange in Gerald's voice. I would say he was making fun of me.

"No, I don't. Enlighten me." I said. He was making me angry.

"The leader of the Empire has to be powerful. It's just how it works. People won't listen to someone who doesn't have the power." he said "But since there is no one more powerful than a Dragon Rider…everyone who wants to rule will have to kill the Rider to prove himself."

"Oh." I said "But if Murtagh is the king…what about me and the kids?"

"You'll stay with him." he said "As a queen or not. It's your choice."

"But if I go with him…and become a queen…" I swallowed hard "Then everyone will know Murtagh's weakness…me. I can't even protect my mind!"

"I told you I won't let anything happen to you." Murtagh put his hands around my waist and I jumped a bit because it still hurt no matter how gently he hugged me.

"I would just distract you from your other duties." I said quietly.

"You don't have to be the queen." he said "I can hide you anywhere you want…"

"No." I shook my head "I don't want to live in the shadows. Besides, people already know about me…They would never believe I left you…or they would be suspicious."

"She's right." Gerald said "You can't hide her. Just like you can't hide your son."

"I don't want you to show our son to the people of the Empire." I looked at Murtagh.

"But I want to do it. I want everyone to know I have a son, not like…" he suddenly stopped.

"Like what?" I put my hand on his face but he moved away from me.

"Nothing." he said.

"No." I said "They already know that so you don't have to show him to them."

"But they need to see him so they would believe." he said "They don't know were those just rumors or not. There have been many things told about us."

"Just because you want to be different from a particular person, you don't have to act stupidly." I said.

"I'm not acting stupidly!" he was getting angry.

"I won't let you to endanger our son." I said "Be the king…but leave us out of it."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" he frowned.

"I want a house somewhere safe far from everything." I said "You can rule in your castle, but after you finish your tasks come back to us, like coming home from work."

"But the king doesn't have a fixed timetable!" he said "People might need me."

"Then I don't know what we will do." I said.

"Amarantha, why don't you want to stay in the castle with Murtagh?" Gerald said "You don't have to be the queen…but you can live there."

"I told you…it's dangerous." I said "Everyone can get in my mind…including enemies."

"But you don't know much about the politics and things like that." he said "There's nothing valuable they could get from you head."

Huh. How nice.

"And what about all private moments? My kids? My life?" I was a bit upset. Not valuable. Right.

"That's not really interesting. If you live there, everyone will know about you and the kids." he said "Besides, we can remove some of your memories."

"Oh, great! Erase my memory!" I rolled my eyes "They'll discover I have visions."

"Well, perfect!" Gerald smiled.

"Huh?" I probably missed something, but what?

"They simply won't believe what they see." Gerald said "They will think you're hiding something and that you are more powerful…because there must be some special reason why the Dragon Rider fell in love with you. Besides, everyone knows the story about Selena and…"

"Don't say that!" Murtagh suddenly yelled "We're not like them!"

"I know." Gerald said calmly "It's just something people will assume. You'll be safer than we thought."

"And what if they discover the truth?" I said.

"They won't…or it will take them some time. I'm sure of it." he said "People are afraid of you, believe me."

I thought about it for a moment.

"Alright." I said "I'll live in the castle. But there is something you have to promise me."

"What is it?" Murtagh asked warily.

"Promise that if this idea fails and we're in danger…that you'll get us all away and never try to be the king again." I said "And…promise me that you won't become the new Galbatorix."

"I guess I can promise you that." Murtagh smiled.

"Good." I said. He kissed me.

* * *

Two weeks later the pain was finally gone and I was feeling great. I was playing with the kids in their room while Gerald and Murtagh were planning how to take over the throne again. We had decided already the big thing would happen in a week.

"Mommy, I want to be a princess!" Elisabeth said.

"Aww, honey. You already are a princess." I smiled at her.

"Mommy, will you buy me a new dress then?" she smiled.

"Sure, honey. Anything you want." I said.

"Can I get a sword like daddy has?" Max looked at me. Tell me I just didn't hear that. Great.

"Why do you need a sword, honey?" I said.

"I want to defeat the bad guys!" Max said.

"Oh." I said "Who told you you have to defeat the bad guys?"

"Daddy." Max said. Ah, yes. Why didn't I just assume that? I seriously had to talk to Murtagh. I wanted our son to be away from weapons and magic, but maybe it was better that he could defend himself. But he was still too young.

"You'll do that when you grow up." I smiled.

"But Daddy said…" Max said. Oh, no. There we go with Daddy said…that couldn't be good.

"What did Daddy say?" I tried to keep the smile on my face no matter what the answer was.

"I'm going to get a dragon! Like Daddy's dragon!" Max was very excited.

"Oh, really?" my attempts to keep smiling failed. But hey, at least I tried.

"Can I have a dragon?" Elisabeth looked at me. I didn't know what to say. How to explain it to her?

"Honey…" I started to say something stupid, but I ended up saying something even more stupid "You can't have a dragon because…girls don't have dragons."

"Why not, Mommy?" she looked disappointed.

"Well…ask Murtagh." I almost laughed, but at least I remembered to use Murtagh's name. I didn't want to remind Eli on her real father. And I wanted to complicate Murtagh's life a bit because he had said stupid things to Max.

After some time Murtagh entered the room and Elisabeth ran to him. She stopped on a safe distance and stared at him.

"Why I can't have a dragon?" she asked. Murtagh looked at her first in surprise, and then he looked at me. I gave him the nicest smile I could. He almost frowned, but Eli was still waiting for his response.

"Umm, Elisabeth…" he looked at me again, probably reading my mind to see what I was up to "Girls don't have dragons."

Oh, good mind reading. But I really didn't know was that the truth or not. I haven't heard of a female Rider so…maybe it wasn't possible. But for Eli it was impossible for sure because her father wasn't a Rider. Not that I was really sad about it. It was better like that.

"Why not?" Eli asked.

"Because…you don't need a dragon." Murtagh smiled uneasily.

"Why not?" Eli crossed her arms. The scene was so hilarious, but I was proud of my daughter. Murtagh's eyes kept searching for me, but Eli didn't move.

"Well…you see…" Murtagh never looked so unsure about anything.

"Why can Max have a dragon and I can't?" she said.

"You can share?" Murtagh said and I laughed. He didn't really mean that. But Eli was still there.

"Can I get a sword then?" Eli asked and I gasped. This wasn't funny anymore.

"Honey, you don't need a sword." I said, walking over to her and taking her into my arms. Murtagh let out a sigh of relief. I smiled at him.

"Why not?" Eli said. Now it was Murtagh's time to grin at me.

"Girls don't need swords." I said.

"Why not?" she said.

"Because we have boys to protect us." I said.

"Really?" Eli frowned "But they are stupid!"

I laughed. Murtagh and Max glared at me, but I couldn't stop laughing. Sometimes Eli was so right.

"Why do you think so?" suddenly asked Murtagh. I was worried he would do a wrong thing, but he didn't sound angry. Just curious.

"Because they can have everything fun and we can't." Eli said.

"Fun?" I asked.

"I heard Murtagh telling Max about…dragons, magic, fighting…" she said "I want that!"

"Eli…these are just stories." I said and frowned at Murtagh. What else has he been telling to my son? And how I didn't know about it? Not a mind reader, huh.

"But I want…" Eli wanted to say and I pressed her closer to myself.

"It's alright, honey." I said "We'll think about it when you grow up."

I was hoping it was just an idea she would forget after some time. I still wanted her to have everything Max had, but just reasonable things. No magic, no swords, no dragons…the list was getting too long. I sighed. Murtagh smiled at me.


	22. Chapter 22

We were sitting in the throne room. It felt awkward. I wasn't sure how exactly Murtagh managed to convince me to do this. I sighed. There were various people coming to see us. I didn't listen to any of them.

Only two days passed by after we had come to this town and this huge castle. I didn't even know how to pronounce the name of the town right! Gerald was actually right when he said people were afraid of us. No one tried to stop us from taking over the castle.

In fact, everyone seemed to be happy there was someone in charge. Even it was Murtagh. I guess some things are harder to do without a king. But Murtagh enjoyed this more than me. Normal house would never be enough for him.

I couldn't say the castle was ugly. It was very pretty actually. There were huge rooms everywhere, marble floor and nice furniture. It definitely didn't look like that when Galbatorix was the king. I wondered which things Nasuada had chosen. But I preferred not to know. Thinking of her was giving me creeps.

The throne room was the biggest room in the castle and really hard to find, especially if you were me. Murtagh had to come for me to our room to take me there. The floor was actually made of some weird dark stone; I didn't know what it was. It could have also been magic.

Actually, this room was a bit pointless. It had only two huge chairs in the middle, made of gold and decorated with rubies. I bet that was Murtagh's idea. There was also a small table in the corner of the room with all kinds of weapons and things. Gerald told me it was just another sign of power for our guests to see.

There were four more chairs, but they were just plain wooden chairs, hidden a bit in the dark. I wanted to make something in there for kids, but Murtagh just frowned at me. How was I supposed to stay sitting all the time in that dark room and listen to people talk to Murtagh? Highly amusing. Yeah, right.

Murtagh finally told me I wouldn't have to sit with him all the time, but only when important guests came. I was wondering when I agreed to do all this. Wasn't I against this idea? Well, I could try. But even though Murtagh said we were supposed to be well-protected, I wanted to make more windows in the throne room.

Murtagh's and mine room was actually the best room in the whole castle. It was nice and full of light. There was also a huge balcony. The floor was made of perfectly white marble and Murtagh made sure everything in the room was new. The bed was huge and painted black, but the covers were white. There was a huge wooden closet in one corner and a desk with chairs in the other. A bookshelf full of some strange books was behind the door, but I didn't mind.

The kids had their own rooms and I was against the idea, but Murtagh didn't want to listen. I just didn't like it because I wanted them to spend more time together. And like this it was harder to keep an eye on both of them. I was also wondering in whose room would they play or talk. It just didn't seem right.

Max's room was closer to ours and Elisabeth's to Gerald's. All rooms were in the same hall, so I couldn't really complain but Murtagh still preferred Max. I wasn't sure how to deal with it anymore; he would never change. Gerald kept saying I shouldn't worry, because soon he would be teaching the kids and they would be staying together.

"Amarantha!" Murtagh almost yelled into my ear.

"What?" I blinked at him.

"Where are you?" he smiled at me "I've been calling your name for a while."

"Umm, sorry." I said "I was just thinking…you know this whole thing bores me to death."

"I know. But now everyone will know you as a queen." he said "My queen."

"Don't you think Nasuada's supporters will want to kill me?" I said "You were her husband just few weeks ago and now you have another queen. It's just not right."

"Well, they all knew I wasn't in love with her at the end." he said "Besides, you're a mother of my son. You can't be here just as a lover."

"Right. Bad image." I sighed "But we aren't even married!"

"Oh, we will be." he said "I'm preparing a huge party."

"Excuse me, do I know you?" I stared at him "Because you don't seem to be the man I used to know."

"Oh, please, my love. You're going to love it." he laughed. Well, I'm glad it was at least funny for someone. I had something more romantic in mind. And definitely not big. But then again, I had my normal wedding once before and look how it ended.

"Whatever." I said "But I don't like you when you act like a king. The power affects you too much."

"Don't worry. I just want to show off my power for a week or two. I'll stop when my enemies realize they can't get rid of me." he said.

"Right." I said. Why couldn't I just believe him? Sometimes it just seemed like I knew him and sometimes like I had no idea who he was. I guess he'd never leave the past behind. Maybe he didn't even realize he was trying to run away from it.

"Gerald wants to see you." he suddenly said.

"What?" I stared at him in shock. How the hell did he know?

"Look, Gerald said to Thorn. Thorn told me. Happy?" he smiled. Ugh, mind reading. Irritating as always. I would never get used to it.

"No." I rolled my eyes "I'm going to see what he wants."

"Sure." Murtagh smiled. I wanted to leave, but he caught my arm and pulled me to him, kissing me gently.

"Never ever think again I'm trying to run away from something." he whispered, still holding my arm. I moved away from him.

"Is that a threat?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, no. Why would you think something like that?" he smiled "I love you."

"Then I'll think about whatever I want and you stay out of my thoughts." I stared into his eyes. He frowned. I left the room before he could say something else. He was really sensitive about a particular topic.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" I asked Gerald when I finally found him. He was in another room with Max and Elisabeth. It was probably a special room for studying. I thought they would be in one of their rooms. But we had too many rooms anyway, so why not use them?

"Ah, yes." Gerald smiled at me "I need to talk to you."

"Mommy!" Elisabeth yelled "I learned a magic word!"

"What?" I frowned at Gerald "You're teaching my daughter ancient language?"

"Yes, why not?" he said calmly.

"We really do need to talk." I said and he followed me out. When we were standing in the hall, I closed the door.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm doing what you wanted." he said "Teaching your kids."

"No." I said "I didn't want my daughter to know ancient language. What will she do with it if she can't use magic?"

"Well, she'll be able to recognize the words or a spell if someone tries to use it on her." he said "And she will be able to read ancient books one day."

I blinked. This was so stupid.

"And what can she do even if she recognizes the words?" my voice sounded strange, almost desperate "She will be affected by it no matter what. Knowing the spell won't help her."

"It can help." he said "Maybe she won't be attacked. Maybe someone else will be…and she will be able to help."

"Help? Help?" I was yelling and I didn't even realize it "I don't want my daughter near magic! How do you think she will feel when Max really uses magic and she can't?"

"I'll explain it to her." he said "She's a smart girl."

"She's a child! My child!" I said "I…"

"You don't know what you want." he said "I promised you to teach your daughter everything I teach Max. I thought about it and now it seems reasonable actually."

"Did you tell this to Murtagh?" I said.

"Yes." he said "He agrees with me."

At the moment he said it, I knew there was something behind it. Murtagh and Gerald had a plan they didn't want me to find out about. Again. Damn magicians and Dragon Riders! It's always about battles or magic. I thought about it for a moment.

I had no idea what my daughter really wanted. She said she wanted to fight and things like that, but she didn't know that she couldn't do it. I sighed. This was a hard decision. One way could make my daughter sad and feeling bad because she couldn't learn what Max could. The other way could make her sad and feeling bad because she would know all but couldn't use it like Max could.

"At least she will knew what she's getting into if someone wants her to promise something in ancient language." he said.

Damn. Gerald was right and he was looking at me with a big grin on his face. I didn't want my little girl to get involved with some bad oaths.

"Fine." I said "Teach her magic. Teach her whatever you teach Max. But don't let my daughter become someone she isn't supposed to be."

"Good." he said "I knew you would understand."

"But what did you want to talk about in the first place?" I asked "Was it about this?"

"No." he said "I wanted to talk to you about Max."

"About Max?" I was surprised.

"Yes." he said "I need you to talk to Murtagh."

"Me?" I actually laughed.

"I don't think Max is ready to become a Rider." he said.

"Umm, I agree on that one." I said. If you asked me, I wouldn't want my son to be a Rider. Ever.

"Murtagh wants it to happen tomorrow." he said.

"What?" I gasped "No, he can't do that!"

"He thinks it's better for the boy to grow up with his dragon." even Gerald didn't seem happy about it "There is a chance that the dragon won't hatch because Max is too young. But we don't know that for sure. You need to talk to Murtagh about it."

"Why can't you do that?" I said "He doesn't listen to me anyway. I know nothing about these things."

"But you are Max's mother." he said.

"Ok. I'll tell him Max is too young and that I don't want it…is there anything else to say? If not, why can't you tell him? I understand I'm Max's mother, but you're his teacher." I looked at Gerald's worried face.

"It's just…" he hesitated.

"Just what?" I asked suspiciously.

"I would do it if I could." he said.

"Huh?" I was confused.

"I made some oaths…" he said, looking a bit sad "Somehow one of these affects this problem."

I didn't understand a thing. What kind of oath did he make if he couldn't even make a suggestion? That was weird. But why would he lie to me? Was that even possible? Stupid ancient language! Did Gerald know what he was promising? Ok, that was a stupid thought.

"Wait a second." I said "When did you promise that?"

"Few days ago." he said.

"Why?" I frowned.

"I had no other choice." he said.

"Really? But you're a magician! And Murtagh's friend!" I said. This was way too weird. Maybe Gerald was doing something he wasn't supposed to and Murtagh got mad. But would he really made Gerald promise something in ancient language? Maybe it was just another lie to make me talk to Murtagh. But he could talk with me any time he wanted without sending me around. I hate it when I know nothing!

"I know. But it's a private thing between me and Murtagh. I can't tell you why or what did I say." he said.

"Can't or won't?" I said.

"Won't." he smiled a bit actually.

"Well, it's none of my business." I said "I'll go talk to Murtagh."

"Do that." he said.

* * *

**Author's note:** Just in case I didn't mention this before; Amarantha's point of view on some things reflects her world and her ideas. Just wanted to say that I don't share my opinion with her, especially not the one about girls not being able to do the same things as boys.


	23. Chapter 23

I went to talk to Murtagh. My son was not going to be a Rider. Well, at least not yet. I couldn't let that happen already, especially if Gerald thought it was wrong thing to do. Murtagh was probably in the throne room.

Throne room. Huh. I stopped in the middle of the hall. Was it right or left? I shook my head; this castle was freaking me out. Finally, I decided to go left. And yes, of course, it was the wrong one. When I finally reached the throne room, I was more than mad.

"Murtagh!" I entered the room, yelling and not caring who was there. Murtagh frowned and some unknown people were staring at me in surprise.

"Amarantha." Murtagh said through his teeth then smiled at the guests "This is my future wife."

"Yeah, whatever." I said "I need to talk to you now."

"My love, can't you see I'm busy?" I could feel the anger in his voice, but I was still more upset than him.

"No, I can't." I smiled bitterly "This can't wait. Now come with me."

"We'll talk about it later." he said.

"No." I looked at him carefully. We were making a nice show for our guests. Good. But I knew Murtagh must have read my mind by now. He knew exactly what I wanted to talk about, but he couldn't let others know everyone could read my mind.

He didn't say anything. We just stared at each other for a moment. I didn't move.

"Alright!" he rolled his eyes and got up from the chair. I didn't wait for him. I went out of the room, leaving him to say whatever he wanted to the people who came to see him. I didn't care.

* * *

"What is your problem?" Murtagh grabbed my arm painfully when we were in our room.

"Let go of me." I said "And I should ask you the same question."

"You can't just do that in front of people!" he yelled and let go of my arm.

"Oh, and you can't make my son a Rider tomorrow!" I said.

"Why not?" he said "I'll do whatever I want."

"He's my son." I said "I won't let you ruin his life."

"But this will be good for him." he said.

"You just don't get it, do you?" I said "It's not just because of me. Even Gerald says Max is too young for this."

"I don't care what Gerald says." he said "He wasn't supposed to tell you."

"You would really do that without telling me?" I yelled "You're crazy!"

"I knew it would upset you." he said "But you must admit I know more about this than you do."

"True." I said "But I still think you're stupid. Our son won't be safer or anything if he has a dragon. It will be more dangerous for him."

"But if something happens to me…" he said.

"No!" I said "Nothing will happen to you! But our son is not ready to have a dragon."

"Maybe you're right." he said "But he wants…"

"I know he wants a dragon. But he doesn't know what that means, right?" I sighed "Just tell me you won't give him the egg. Please."

"Alright." he said, but his voice sounded sad for some reason.

"Don't worry." I said, hugging him gently. He put his hands on my face, looking deep into my eyes.

"Amarantha…if something happens..." he was looking for the right thing to say "Just promise me…promise me our son will be safe."

I blinked at him. How could I promise that? And why? What was he suspecting that could happen? And what could I do even if there was a danger? And wasn't he supposed to promise me that? I was confused.

"I promise." I said "But why?"

"No reason." he smiled "It just makes me feel better, I guess."

Liar. I moved away from him, hugging myself. This was making me feel very uneasy. Something was wrong again. Maybe it was just my imagination, but maybe not. Whichever it was, it wasn't helping.

I just walked out of the room. I wanted to be with Max and Elisabeth.

* * *

My wedding day came too fast. I was nervous, which was strange because it wasn't the first time I was getting married. It made me sad a bit, because I remembered Dorian. I hadn't thought about him lately, but the wedding…

I wasn't sure would he ever forgive me. Probably not. After all, I was getting married to a man who killed him. I stared at the mirror in front of me, while maids and other women tried to make me look perfect. Maybe I should have told them it was impossible to make me look pretty. Ah, whatever.

My dress was white and long. I wanted to have a dress like the one I had on my first wedding, but I knew it would make it all worse. It made me think what kind of a monster I was. It was supposed to be a different wedding, because Dorian and I had the most beautiful one.

I wanted to marry Murtagh, but not like this. Not for whole world to see. But it was his choice and he said it was the only way. I was going to become a queen and I didn't care a bit about it. What was the whole point of it, if my power was fake? If someone dared to check my mind, it would all be over. People would know I wasn't up to it. They would know I wasn't a bit dangerous for them. But Murtagh was sure he could stop it. I believed him.

Elisabeth ran into the room, dressed in a beautiful dressed that was almost like mine. I felt tears coming to my eyes. She was so perfect. My little girl.

"Mommy?" she looked at me in surprise.

"Yes, honey?" I smiled at her.

"Your hair looks weird." she said.

"I know." I sighed. The maids did my hair in some strange way, lifting it up and putting some weird flowers and jewelry in it. I still remembered how my mum made my hair look perfect for the wedding. We were alone in the room that day and we did it all by ourselves. Today I was just standing here and letting unknown people do with me what they wanted.

"Mommy, I don't want you to marry Max's daddy." suddenly said Eli, looking hurt.

"Aww, honey." I bent down to hug her and one of the maids actually yelled at me for moving. I frowned at the maid and she backed away a bit. Good. Maybe they didn't believe I could hurt them, but Murtagh could. That was enough actually.

"Will you still love me, Mommy?" Eli looked at me.

"Of course I will, honey!" I said "I'll love you no matter what."

"But I don't like Murtagh!" Eli said "Don't marry him."

"I love him." I said "But nothing will change if we get married. I promise."

"But Max said…" she stopped in the middle of the sentence, looking away from me.

"What did Max say?" I was surprised. What could have Max possibly said to upset Eli?

"Nothing." she said "But don't marry Murtagh! He will hurt me."

"What? No, honey!" I said "Murtagh won't hurt you! Why do you think that?"

"I heard him." she whispered.

"You what?" I was surprised. Was Murtagh that stupid and Eli so smart, or this was all a misunderstanding?

"He said he doesn't want me here." said Eli.

"I'm sure you heard it wrong, honey." I said. I really really hoped it was like that. I wouldn't stand it if Murtagh really said something like that.

"Umm, I don't know." Eli said "Maybe I dreamed it…"

Oh, great. Not again. If it was a real vision, someone was going to die. If it was just Eli's dream, showing what she feared the most, then I still had to talk to Murtagh.

"Honey, when do you think you dreamed that?" I asked.

"I don't know." Eli frowned. Sure, she was still too young to know the difference between visions and dreams, or even maybe reality.

"Eli, honey, listen to me." I said "Everything is going to be alright. I love you and I won't let anything happen to you, alright?"

Eli nodded and I ran out of the room. The maids protested but I didn't give a damn. I had to find Murtagh.

* * *

"Amarantha!" Murtagh gasped in disbelief when he saw me "You look…"

"Not now." I said "There is again something we need to discuss. Something we talked about for thousands of times but still nothing happened."

"Yes?" he raised an eyebrow, probably realizing I was already too angry.

"Did you ever say you don't want my daughter here?" I stared into his eyes, waiting for some kind of a reaction. Or he would start denying it or he would at least flinch. But he's face remained a perfect mask, no emotions, no feelings, no nothing.

"No, as far as I know." he said calmly "Why are you asking me this?"

"Then Eli might have had a vision about you saying it." I said "Or it was just her dream."

"Your daughter has a wild imagination." he smiled "She just doesn't like me, so she's trying to ruin our wedding. You see?"

"Wait a second." I said "Are you saying my little daughter could be so mean?"

"She's young. But she's smart." he said "And she knows what she wants. Be careful around her."

"What?" I yelled "That's impossible! She's not _your_ daughter!"

"Oh, so you would believe it if she were my daughter?" he said "That's a nice opinion you have of me, my love."

"I'm not…" I stared at him for a moment "I'm sorry. But I don't think Eli would lie…"

"Fine!" he tried to stay calm "She had a dream, so what?"

"You're right. It was a dream." I said "But you promised me too many times you would take care of her, but I see you're doing nothing."

"I can't get close to her. I'm sorry." he said, avoiding my look.

"Why not?" I frowned.

"I'm not her father." he said.

"But you will be!" I said and he looked at me, puzzled.

"I can't make her like me." he said.

"No, you can't." I said "But you haven't even tried! And you promised me! How can I believe you anything else if you lied to me about this one?"

"Alright! I'll try." he rolled his eyes "But I can't influence your daughter…or maybe you want me to…"

"Oh…!" I gasped "Don't you dare to use magic on my daughter!"

"Then be happy I didn't." he smiled suddenly "There were many things I could have done, and I didn't. Because I love you."

He was dangerously getting closer to me. Suddenly I felt so horribly helpless…he could have done anything he wanted with me. He was right; I should be happy he didn't. Scared of my future husband. Who, me?

"I love you too." I whispered as he kissed me.

"Now get back to your room and get ready." he said "The wedding will begin soon."

"Right." I said "See you at the wedding."

* * *

I went back to my room, but it was empty. The maids had left and Eli probably went back to Max or somewhere. I sat on the bed and stared at the wall in front of me.

I was going to become a queen. I was going to get away from normal people forever. My life would never get normal again. I had dreamed about being a princess, being pretty and admired, being loved…

But that just wasn't what this meant. Being a queen or a princess here meant that you could do whatever you wanted, people were afraid of you and there was always someone who wanted to kill you. Beautiful dream, huh?

I sighed. I really hoped no one would discover who I really was. I hoped no one was going to die today. But the wedding was a perfect opportunity for killing Murtagh, me or both…or even our kids. I shuddered. No, I couldn't think about it. We had protection. Monster…I mean, dragon would protect us. Great.


	24. Chapter 24

The ceremony was over faster than I thought. Apparently, Murtagh wasn't _that_ crazy to give our enemies better chance to attack us. Now I was truly Murtagh's wife. It should have made me very happy, but I was worried. I just couldn't stop thinking about the danger around us.

People were coming to me, congratulating and doing some strange moves. It took me few minutes to realize they were bowing to me because I was the queen now. I probably looked like the most nervous and unfriendly queen ever. Or maybe I just didn't know what queens usually did and how they acted.

"Amarantha." Murtagh finally came back to me, after talking with many different people. I didn't care who they were. Murtagh was smiling, enjoying the moment. I sighed.

"Can we go now?" I gave him a pleading look.

"Oh, Amarantha, my love!" he laughed "Don't be like this! Enjoy the party!"

"Right." I smiled bitterly "Can we go?"

"If you insist." he didn't seem too happy about it.

"Yes, I insist." I grabbed his arm and pulled him with me. Four guards followed us through the crowd. I went faster, trying to lose them. But they were too good at what they were doing. Great.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Murtagh asked "You're almost running."

"I just want to get out of here, ok?" I rolled my eyes. When we reached our room, the guards were still behind us. I got really really mad. I didn't want them to follow us so suddenly just because we were officially ruling the country.

"Go away!" I yelled at the guards who looked puzzled.

"Amarantha!" Murtagh pulled me into a hug "Calm down, honey. They're here to protect us."

"I don't care." I said "They weren't protecting us before. Why now?"

"You know why." he said quietly "Now everyone knows about us."

"So?" I raised an eyebrow "You wanted this. Now protect us."

"Come." he said and we entered the room. Murtagh closed the door and I went to the balcony. It was getting dark outside and I could still see people partying. How nice. They were celebrating my wedding, even though I didn't. Murtagh came behind my back, putting his arms around my waist.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked "I don't understand why you're so…pissed off."

"Don't you see?" I said "This is a show for people, not a wedding."

"Don't think about it. You're my wife now." he whispered, kissing my neck "Aren't you happy?"

"Yes, I am." I said, feeling a bit better. Murtagh was right. I was being silly. I took all this too seriously and it was just something that had to happen. I was Murtagh's wife and nothing else mattered.

"Just forget about everything that is going on here." he said "I'll take care of it…"

"Right." I smiled "It's just that I feel so…I don't know…annoyed by everything…lately."

"Don't worry." he said "I love you."

"I love you too." I turned around to kiss him. He smiled at me. The night was already getting better than the whole day.

* * *

The next morning everything was back to ordinary. Maids were cleaning up the rests of the wedding party and Murtagh had already left before I woke up. I just found a note saying that he would be back by noon.

I decided to check on the kids. I got to their rooms, but they weren't there. For a moment I panicked I got lost again, but then a maid told me they were outside. That was strange, because being outside was supposed to be dangerous.

Elisabeth and Max were running around the castle and Gerald was watching them. I got closer and realized they had small wooden swords in their hands. I frowned.

"Hello, my Queen." Gerald smiled at me and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm still the same person." I said "Don't you too annoy me with that queen thing."

"As you wish." he said.

"Good." I said "What's going on here?"

"I'm teaching your kids some basic sword fighting." he said.

"What? You're kidding me, right?" I stared at him. He didn't look like he was joking.

"Don't worry. They won't get hurt." he said.

"Whatever you say." I muttered. Kids finally saw me and ran to me.

"Mommy!" Elisabeth jumped into my arms, almost hitting me with her sword. Max took my free hand and smiled at me.

"Wow, did you miss me?" I smiled at them.

"Yes!" Eli moved away from me a bit "Mommy, look what I can do!"

I watched her jump with the sword and point at invisible enemy. She swung her sword around few more times and smiled at me.

"Umm, great, honey." I forced myself to smile. She was good actually, considering that this was just a child's game.

"Your daughter has a natural talent." said Gerald as Max and Eli ran to fight each other.

"Talent?" I laughed "For what?"

"One day she will be a good fighter." he said.

"No." I said "Not my daughter."

"Don't you understand?" he looked at me "Your daughter has a chance to change things. She can have a better life."

"I don't understand what you're talking about." I said "What better life has to do with fighting? You mean her death would be better than this life?"

"No, no!" he said "I didn't mention death. Why do you put death together with fighting? It doesn't go together."

"But it comes together." I said "If my daughter ever gets to fight anyone, she will die."

"Don't be so sure." he said "That's why I'm teaching her how to beat her enemies."

"But that's stupid." I said "It just won't happen. My daughter won't be a fighter. You'll realize it soon."

"And you prefer her to have your life? Your faith?" he said.

"What are you talking about?" I frowned.

"Do you want her to be helpless? Do you want her to feel scared like you do?" he said "Don't you wish you didn't have to depend on Murtagh?"

I stared at him for a moment, completely shocked. My life was a mess and I did wish I could defend myself, but I never thought about it like that. Everyone made me believe I couldn't do it and I knew I couldn't do it, but maybe if I practiced…maybe I really wouldn't be so afraid all the time.

I looked at Elisabeth. She was smiling and she seemed so happy. But will it be the same when she grows up? I used to be happy too. And I still was, just part of me was always worrying something could happen. There was no complete happiness.

"Alright." I said "We'll see what will happen in future. Teach her whatever you want. Time will show who's right."

"You know I'm right." he said "And you think that too, just your brain refuses that thought. You already saw that life isn't what you thought it was few years ago."

"Yes, well…" I sighed "What my mother taught me about life isn't even close to this. But then again, my mother never thought I could become a queen."

"Does your family know about this?" he said.

"I don't know. I haven't had any contact with them for a long time." I said "Do you think they found out?"

"Probably." Gerald said "Or they will find out soon. There were people here from whole country yesterday. Someone from your village must have come."

"If my mother could see her granddaughter right now, I think she would go crazy." I laughed "She would prefer I taught my daughter how to cook!"

"Well, why don't you?" he laughed.

"Maybe when she's older." I said "Right now I probably wouldn't have the nerves to do it."

"You have time for that." he smiled.

"I hope so." I said, looking at the blue sky "I really hope so."

Suddenly I felt the ground under me shaking. Something was wrong. I looked in front of me and the scenery was getting darker and darker. I wanted to look away, but I couldn't move. Heavy dark clouds were coming at me and some strange feeling went through my body. I couldn't breath, I couldn't see. The world just went black.

* * *

I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Murtagh's worried face. I smiled. I couldn't count anymore how many times I've been in this situation. But Murtagh was still serious.

"What's…" I wanted to ask but my throat felt dry and sore. I swallowed hard. What the hell happen to me _this_ time?

"You'll be fine. Just stay still and point where it hurts." Murtagh said and when I did, he used magic to heal me. I immediately felt better. I managed to sit up in the bed and saw Gerald sitting on a chair in the corner of the room.

"What happened to me?" I asked, getting up from the bed. I felt dizzy at first, but it passed.

"You mean you don't know?" Murtagh was surprised.

"I'm not sure." I said.

"You stared at the woods like you saw a ghost and then you fell down and hit your head on a rock." Murtagh said.

"I just fell?" I was a bit shocked "But what about the earthquake?"

"What earthquake?" both Murtagh and Gerald stared at me in confusion.

"You mean there wasn't an earthquake?" I said and they kept staring "Oh."

"Does that mean there _will be_ an earthquake?" Murtagh looked at me.

"Umm, not sure." I said "But I saw…I saw darkness coming here and it was horrible. I had this strange feeling inside me. I was so afraid."

"Did you see who it was?" Murtagh said "It must be one of our enemies."

"No." I shook my head "In fact, I believe it's not a person."

"You're joking, right?" Murtagh laughed nervously "It has to be a person. Or it was just a moment of your crazy ideas."

"My crazy ideas?" I frowned "I know what I saw! I'm not crazy!"

"No one is saying you're crazy." Gerald said, frowning at Murtagh "We're just trying to understand what happened."

"I don't know." I said "I just know that something is wrong. Someone or something…is against us and it's coming."

"You sound like one of those crazy women who pretend they can see the future, but in fact say nothing." Murtagh rolled his eyes.

"What?" I got really angry. What was his problem? How could he call me crazy?

"I'm just saying that you're telling us all this because we are expecting to hear something." he said "And I'm sure nothing happened. You probably just fainted."

"Do you really think I'm lying?" I got closer to him, staring deep into his eyes. I wanted him to realize I was serious about this. He looked at me for a moment.

"You're serious." he sounded surprised.

"See, I told you so." I crossed my arms "Can you see what I saw too?"

"No." he said "That part of your mind I can't reach."

"Oh, ok." I said "I just can't believe you thought I was lying."

"I'm sorry, my love." he tried to hug me but I moved away.

"Anything you say now won't make it right." I said "I'm your wife! You know me! And you don't believe me…oh, I think I can see the darkness already. And it's right there in your eyes."

"What?" he looked at me "It looks like I'm right too, so let's forget about this. You're probably just confused and tired because of the wedding and everything. I should have known this would be too much for you…"

"No!" I said "I'm not crazy and I'm not…hm, actually I am tired."

"Come with me." Murtagh said "I'll take you to our room."

"I can find it on my own." I said coldly.

"What now?" Murtagh said "You're still mad at me?"

"Yes." there just wasn't a reason to lie.

"What can I do to make it up to you?" he smiled seductively. I stood there, trying hard to keep an angry face. I failed after two seconds. He was just irresistible.

"Uh-huh." I smiled. He took my hand and this time I didn't complain. But I couldn't get my vision out of my head. Something was wrong and I couldn't figure it out what. Maybe it was really nothing or just my imagination.

Murtagh was right; only another person would want to harm us. But even though I hadn't seen a face, it didn't mean there wasn't someone behind this. Maybe I just received a warning to be careful. I had no idea. But this wasn't the right time to worry about it because Murtagh was with me.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's note: **I'm sorry I haven't update this for a while. I've been really busy. Oh, and this chapter is actually taking place much later than the last one and it's not just because I didn't update before lol I had this in mind long time ago. It was supposed to be a sequel, but I decided to keep it here in one. And this story went way longer than I wanted it to be.

* * *

There was an earthquake actually, but two days after I had seen it. Nothing special happened though. I half expected there would be some dark force around it, but no such thing. Maybe I was really getting paranoid. Maybe.

Time was passing by so fast after that. I didn't even know where more than ten years had gone. Yes, more than 10 years passed since I last time had a vision. Maybe I lost my gift, or maybe there were no interesting things to see. I didn't mind.

Everything in our, umm, kingdom seemed to work just fine. Murtagh changed the usual way the kings ruled and it looked better in my point of view. He actually put other people in charge of most of his tasks so he could spend more time with me. It was pretty awesome considering a few promises in ancient language could keep people from turning against us.

Murtagh assured me there was no way someone could get around the oath made and I believed him. He was, after all, the best in avoiding oath things so I guess he knew how to use words to make it impossible for the others. Besides, people in charge were happy with their jobs because who didn't like power and money? And with those positions you had it all.

My kids were growing up too fast and I was getting more and more worried about their future. Max was just like his father. I almost started to wonder did he inherit anything from me. Murtagh, however, was especially proud of his son. He said our son would be a great king. I had no idea how he knew that, but I guess he knew.

Elisabeth was kind of a problem, for me anyway. Murtagh's and Elisabeth's relationship was getting better each day, but even more than 10 years after there was still some tension. I think Eli knew what Murtagh had done to her father and she couldn't forgive it. I didn't blame her for that. What I didn't like was that she was getting involved with politics and the army.

It was just something I thought wasn't for women. Our country was in peace at the moment, but that didn't mean a new enemy wouldn't show up sometime. Gerald, Murtagh's friend and my kids' teacher, was the main person I blamed for my daughter getting involved with men stuff.

I was also worried she wouldn't find a husband when the time came. It wasn't just her involvement with all I mentioned, but also the fact she wasn't good with girl stuff, like cooking and taking care of the house. She wasn't even talking to me much now, and I really missed the way she was as a child.

* * *

I spotted Elisabeth near the castle after she hadn't been around for three days. I had no idea where she was or what was she doing. I was worried, even though everyone told me I shouldn't be. She was 18 after all. She wasn't my little girl anymore.

"Eli!" I said as I approached her. She was just beautiful. She had long dark brown hair now and her eyes held that shine full of life. She wore men's shirt and pants and I frowned. There was even a sword attached to her belt.

"Mother." she said, not really happy to see me.

"Honey, where have you been? I was worried." I knew I sounded like a silly mother who worries too much, but I just didn't care.

"Umm, none of your business." Eli said.

"Eli, I know it isn't…but…" I said "…Murtagh is the king and our family needs to be safe all the time. If I don't know where you are, no one can help you if you're in danger!"

"I can take care of myself, thank you!" she gritted her teeth.

"Elisabeth, please." I said "I just want to know."

"I've been in one village. Someone was killed there and I thought I could see who did it." she said.

"But that's none of your business. Probably someone did it for revenge, or some other usual reason." I said "Besides, how could you see who did it?"

"Well, if that person plans to kill someone again…you know, if it's not normal thing, maybe I could have a vision before it happens." she said.

"But then everyone would know you can do it! They would think you are a freak!" I said, remembering how it was with me.

"I don't care, mom!" she said "I don't care as long as it saves someone's life! Couldn't you predict my father's death? Why haven't you tried? He could have been alive now!"

"Eli…" I said, trying to touch her but she moved away.

"No, don't touch me. You don't understand me! You don't understand anything I do!" she shook her head.

"Then help me understand." I said. I really did want to understand her, but she wasn't doing what she was supposed to. She was going to ruin her life and I didn't want that to happen.

"Then understand I don't want to be like other women." she said "I can do more useful things than just sit around, clean and cook!"

"But then everyone will look at you as not normal." I sighed.

"Mother, haven't you realized I wasn't normal from the day I was born?" she smiled bitterly "I see what other people can't! Isn't that enough? Of course, why are you attacking me when you're also a freak of some kind!"

"What?" I stared at her in surprise.

"Dare to tell you're normal." she said "You can see things just like I can, before they actually happen! You weren't loyal to your husband and you married a freaking king! What are you doing now? Nothing, just nothing. It's actually enough that people start considering you different than them."

"You're right." I said "But my life…I lived different when I was your age. I loved your father and I had a normal life. Destiny changed things for me and now maybe my life isn't normal, but yours can be. And that's all I want for you. I want you to be happy."

"Oh, that's so sweet." she laughed "But I am happy."

"No one will want to marry you." I said "You're scaring everyone off."

"Forget that, I have a boyfriend." she smiled mysterious and my eyes went wide. How come I hadn't known that?

"Is that true?" I thought she was playing with me.

"Yes." she said "Do you want to meet him? Because I can bring him over sometime."

"Who is he?" I asked.

"His name is Aaron." she said "That's all you have to know about him."

"Wait, you have to tell me something about his family." I said. I was so going to tell Murtagh to send someone to check this out.

"Why?" she said "So you can know are they rich or not?"

"I just care does he come from a good family. The last thing we need is that you end up with someone who wants to use you." I said.

"Don't worry. I won't end up like you." she smiled again.

"What?" I frowned. Yup, it was easier to deal with my daughter when she was younger.

"Murtagh used you." she said "He needed your gift, nothing else."

"I won't speak to you about my past!" I yelled, getting really annoyed "That's all settled now. But your future isn't."

"I'll take care of my future." she said and simply walked away. I just stood there, watching her leave. Maybe I was wrong and everyone else was right. Maybe I had to let her do what she wanted. After all, no one told me what to do all these years.

* * *

"Max!" I was so happy to see him in one of the halls in the castle. He was getting taller and taller, getting more handsome every day and looking so much like Murtagh that I had to be careful not to confuse them. Max's dragon also became a huge thing I tended to avoid for most of the time. I never got used to dragons and never would. I was sure of it.

Lately, I got another reason to dislike dragons. Years were already getting visible on my face, but Murtagh's remained perfect. I still wasn't in agreement with idea that I would probably die before Murtagh. That just wasn't fair! Ok, I probably wouldn't be able to live without him either, so maybe…just maybe it was a good thing.

"Hey, mom!" Max smiled at me, coming closer and kissing my cheek. I smiled at him.

"Did you talk with your sister today?" I asked.

"No, not really." he said. They weren't really close. Especially because Elisabeth was so jealous on Max for having a dragon. When I remember how she cried when the dragon hatched for Max! I would have done anything to make it easier for her. I would have even survived having another dragon in the family, as long as it stayed away from me, just to make her happy. But that wasn't in her blood. And Max was jealous because Eli was older than him.

"Do you happen to know Elisabeth's boyfriend?" I said.

"Yeah, I know him." he said. I was surprised. The only thing missing now was that everyone knew that boy except me. Just perfect.

"What do you know?" I said.

"Why?" he raised an eyebrow.

"Because I want to know what he's up to with your sister." I said.

"She's not my sister." he said.

"Max, don't you start too." I sighed "You're both my children. I wish you were closer."

He just shrugged, like he was trying to say it wasn't his fault.

"So, what do you know about that boy?" I said "How old is he?"

"He's 20." he said "Some girls think he's hot, but not like me, of course."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. Someone obviously didn't care my daughter was doing what she was doing. There had to be something that boy wanted from her. I just didn't know what.

"Does he have a job?" I asked.

"Umm, I'm not sure." Max shrugged "I don't think he has one."

Ha! There it was! He wanted my daughter's money!

"What about his family?" I said.

"Ah, they're some rich family." he said and I frowned. So, the boy didn't want my daughter's money? Maybe his family didn't want to give him money because he wasn't working. It wasn't unusual, but mostly rich families didn't have problem with it.

"Oh, ok." I wasn't really happy about it but I had to let it go. For now.

"Oh, come on. She'll be fine." he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, she will." I said "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see dad." he said, not really thrilled about it.

"Oh, he's going to bother you with politics thing again, right?" I said.

"Yeah. I'd prefer doing something else." he said. Politics were the only thing Max didn't like. But when I think better, Murtagh wasn't really fond of it either. That's why he made his politics.

"I know, but you're going to be a king someday. When's Astrid coming?" I asked. Astrid was sort of Max's girlfriend. Her parents weren't really happy about it because they weren't sure about Max's intentions with their daughter. Or maybe it was just because her father saw them together and asked them if there was something between them; she said yes, Max said no. Even I wasn't sure what Max thought of Astrid, but they were too young anyway for something serious.

"Oh, she'll come tomorrow." he said.

"Good." I smiled. I liked Astrid actually. She was blond, blue-eyed, nice and sweet. I knew she could be a good queen someday, better than I ever was. For me being a queen was not more than a title.

* * *

Murtagh and I had the whole evening just for ourselves. I was glad that Murtagh didn't start looking like an elf because it would have really pissed me off. He was supposed to change, but in his case, he didn't age a bit and his skin was just perfectly smooth. I touched his face gently and kissed him.

"I missed you." I sighed.

"Really?" he smiled at me, kissing my neck.

"Yeah. I got used to seeing you all the time." I said.

"Don't worry. I'm all yours tomorrow." he smiled.

"Oh, goodie." I actually giggled.

"What were you doing today?" he asked.

"Nothing special. Elisabeth worries me." I said, as he put his arms around my waist. He looked at me carefully.

"She was here today." he obviously saw her.

"Yeah. She said she was with that boy…Aaron or something…" I said.

"Why does that bother you? Just leave her alone. She can take care of herself." he said "Besides, isn't it funny that both of your kids date someone whose name starts with an A?"

I looked at him in surprise and then laughed. That was a funny coincidence.

"I know. But I just…" I didn't know what to say.

"Times are changing." he said "Elisabeth is a very brave girl. Besides, she's not the first girl who wants to fight rather than hide. Nasuada and that elf Arya were just like her."

"Don't…mention…that…woman in front of me!" I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, ok." he smiled "But you get the point, right?"

"Yeah, I guess I'll just have to let it go then." I sighed.

"Yes." he said.

"But you have to check on that boy, please!" I said "At least I want to know what he wants!"

"Maybe he loves your daughter." he said.

"Umm, yeah, right." I said.

"Ok, I'll send someone to find out everything about him." Murtagh rolled his eyes and kissed me again. I just smiled.


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's note: **I'm really sorry I didn't update this story for such a long time, but I've been really busy and just didn't have time.

* * *

I found out almost everything about Aaron by the next evening. But what bothered me the most was the fact that there was nothing wrong with him. I just couldn't believe it. Maybe he had a secret or paid everyone to keep their mouth shut. Or he…I don't know! Something!

"Why are you trying to find something bad about the boy?" Murtagh almost laughed at me. Was I really being silly? My daughter's safety wasn't a silly thing, right? Right? I sighed. Maybe I was just being paranoid, again.

"I don't know." I admitted "I guess I would be ok with him if Eli had brought him here first."

"Oh, please." he said "She's not going to marry him yet. Why would you have to meet every boyfriend she has?"

"But she could marry him! Just to make me angry!" I said.

"She's not stupid, trust me. If she marries him, it will be because she loves him." he sounded so sure about it.

"I hope so." I said "But that won't make me less suspicious about that boy. I'm going to the town tomorrow. I'll find him."

"What?" Murtagh glared at me.

"You heard me." I said "I'm going to find that boy and see how he is by myself."

"Don't be stupid!" he got close to me, hugging me gently "Are you trying to lose your daughter completely? She would never forgive you if you did that."

I thought about it for a second. My brilliant idea didn't seem so brilliant like it did a moment ago. Great.

"You're right." I sighed "I've done already too many things which got me on her 'unforgivable' list."

"Don't worry about that." he kissed me. We stood in the middle of the room for few minutes in silence, just hugging. I finally moved away from him and stared at his dark eyes.

"Tell me." I said.

"What?" he looked at me curiously "What is it now?"

"What will you do when I die?" I said "Will you marry someone else after?"

"What is wrong with you today?" he frowned "What kind of question is that?"

"Just answer me." I waited for his reaction, but he stayed perfectly calm.

"You shouldn't think about that." he smiled at me "Why don't we go out now? I know a perfect place…"

"Don't change the subject!" I yelled, tears already forming in my eyes "I know you'll be young and live for a long time. And I…I'm already getting old! You might even leave me before I die…"

"Amarantha, come on!" he reached for me, but I took a step back "You can't be serious!"

"But I know it and you know it…and…" I closed my eyes for a second.

"You really have to stop this." he said "You'll have a nice, long life. Why are you always trying to ruin everything?"

"You're right." I finally let him hug me "I'm sorry, but it's hard…I just can't accept it."

"Oh, so you would really love me to die first." he said.

"No!" I looked at him "I couldn't live without you!"

"Then where's the problem?" he said "Just don't think about it, ok?"

"Yeah, right." I took a deep breath. He was right. I really tried to ruin everything; my daughter's relationship, my own life… Why couldn't I just be happy about everything? I wish I knew.

"Come with me." Murtagh smiled "I want to show you something."

"Alright." I said as we were leaving the room.

* * *

Murtagh took me to one place near the river, where we stayed for a while. It was really nice and peaceful there and perfect to stop my crazy thoughts from bothering me. We would have been in the dark if Murtagh hadn't made small light balls around us with magic.

It was already late when we returned to the castle and I felt some strange uneasiness. I just didn't know why I felt like that.

"Something is wrong." I said and Murtagh just rolled his eyes.

"Not again." he said.

"No, not that." I said "Do you feel anything…I don't know…different around here?"

"No…" he said as a maid came running from one of the halls. Something was wrong because she looked pretty worried.

"What is it?" I ran to her.

"It's your son…" she said, trying to catch her breath.

"What about my son?" I could hear my heart's frantic beating ringing in my head. Please, please, be okay!

"They have taken him!" the maid cried. I didn't understand a bit from what she said. I just stared at her, unable to move. Where was my son?

"Who?" Murtagh was upset, but he didn't really show it.

"Sorcerers!" the maid said, sobbing.

"What sorcerers?" I just didn't know anyone who would dare to even challenge my son. He was young, but he was a Dragon Rider and Murtagh thought him lots of things.

"Damn!" Murtagh said angrily as the maid was struggling for words. Sometimes it was nice to be able to read other people's minds. But Murtagh suddenly ran down the hall.

"Wait! Where are you going? What's happening?" I yelled after him.

"I'll kill them!" he yelled.

"Murtagh, no! Wait!" I screamed as pain shot through my head. For a moment I saw blackness and nothing more, but then my vision started to clear. I could see Max lying in some sort of a cave and he wasn't moving. Then I saw something that horrified me; there was a pool of blood under him. I wanted to scream but I couldn't.

I couldn't even close my eyes. I was looking at my son's body and I couldn't do anything. Suddenly the image shifted and I recognized Murtagh…in completely the same position. The image started to switch back and forth until it was going so fast that I couldn't see anything anymore.

"Amarantha! Wake up!" I could hear Murtagh's voice as I tried to open my eyes. I blinked at him slowly and realized he was holding me in his arms while I was lying on the floor.

"They're going to…kill him." I said in panic "They'll kill him! And they'll kill…you!"

"I'll save our son. I promise." Murtagh said and kissed my forehead.

"Who took him? What do they want?" I asked as I tried to get up.

"I'm sorry." Murtagh said quietly "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have thought no one would dare to…I'm sorry."

"What?" I was still confused because I didn't really know what was going on and what really happened.

"These people…sorcerers…it seems they've be planning this for long time and we hadn't even noticed." he said "They joined forces to try to get to the throne."

"What? But how?" I said.

"Some of them managed to kidnap our son while we were away. They just told their requests to the maid. We have a day." he said.

"Wait, what are you talking about? A day for what?" I said.

"They want me to go meet with them and give up the throne. Then they're going to release our son. If not…" he said.

"No!" I yelled "You can't go there! It's a trap. They'll kill you!"

"I know." he said.

"They'll kill you both!" I yelled "I saw it! You can't…"

"And what am I supposed to do?" he yelled "Let them kill Max?"

"No! But…I don't know." I said "What about the dragons? Can't they do something…? Wait! Why didn't they do something?"

"They were hunting. Someone obviously knew well when they're going to do that. And there is enough of them to hide everything with black magic." he said.

"But the dragons are here, right? Both alive?" I asked.

"Yes." he said "Probably so we could know Max is still alive."

"Yeah, but can his dragon sense him?" I looked at Murtagh. He frowned for a moment.

"No, he can't." he said.

"So we can't find out where Max is." I said "But if they're blocking that connection, it means Max might be…"

"Dead. I know. But they'll have to keep him alive at least long enough for me to appear. They can't allow that we think there's nothing we can do." he said "Then I would never give up the throne to give it over to someone of them."

"Then it's important you don't give them what they want." I said "If they just killed you, I would still be a queen. And…where's Elisabeth?"

"But they'll kill Max if I don't!" he said.

"Don't you get it? If you do that they won't need you anymore. Then they'll see you as a treat because of magic and dragon. They'll kill you both!" I cried "Where's my daughter?"

"I'm here, mother." Elisabeth said behind my back. I turned around and saw her and Gerald standing there.

"Oh, you're here!" I let out a sigh of relief, glad that she hadn't been taken too.

"How did you let this happen?" Gerald seemed to be angry on Murtagh.

"That's not important!" I said "We can't just stand here doing nothing! My son needs to be saved!"

"Calm down, mom." Elisabeth rolled her eyes "We'll find him and bring him back."

"But how?" I looked at her "They want to get rid of us! None of our ideas would work."

"Then you have wrong ideas." she said coldly.

"Eli…I know you don't like him, but please, don't…" I said.

"Don't what?" she said, taking out her sword "I know what you saw. I saw it too. And I know where it is. I'll bring Max back."

"What?" I opened my mouth to say something more, but stopped. My daughter had seen everything? And she knew more about it then me. How could it be?

"I know where's that place. I've been there before." she said.

"Wait, what place?" Murtagh looked at me. Oh, I actually forgot to tell him what I saw and he didn't really ask. I guess he though he knew everything and he couldn't really read my visions in my mind most of the time.

"Some kind of a cave." I said "Dark, small place."

"That's not the place where they told the maid I should meet them." Murtagh said.

"Exactly." Elisabeth smiled "So, to make the long story short, they have a really evil plan. But we can ruin it."

"I…I don't get it." I said. Well, I really didn't get it. So what if those were two different places? We still had to save Max!

"Ah, mom." Elisabeth sighed "They probably didn't count on the fact that we can see things. That's why they took Max to one place and most of them is in the other place waiting for Murtagh, to fight him if necessary. Max is probably unconscious or something so there is no need for lot of people to keep him."

"Oh." I said as my mind tried to process that piece of information. Now the plan of the bad guys seemed stupid. Would they be stupid and do exactly what Eli said? I thought about it for a moment. Sure they tried to make this plan so perfect.

They've watched us for months probably, learned when the dragons were going away to hunt…Damn, I didn't know we were so predictable. And of course, they would need full force to fight Murtagh. But why weren't they afraid we would attack with both dragons or with the whole army? Ah, yes, because we wanted Max alive. And that guy or whoever stayed with Max would kill him, just I wasn't sure when or in what condition.

"Tell me where is he." Murtagh got closer to Elisabeth. I looked at him. Was he trying to read my daughter's mind? Because if he was, then I would be pissed, just I didn't have time to think about it right now.

"No." she said "I know where it is. I'm going there. Alone."

"No!" the three of us yelled in unison. Ok, I yelled, Murtagh and Gerald just said it.

"Fine. Then Max dies." Elisabeth smiled.

"Eli…" I didn't know what to say. How could she be so…heartless? This wasn't some kind of game!

"You're going to tell me whether you like it or not!" Murtagh took out his sword and pointed it against Eli's neck in a second. I didn't have time to stop him. I just stared at them in shock. But Eli didn't move a bit, she just laughed.

"Oh, please. Kill me and you'll never find out." she smiled and Murtagh put away his sword in an angry movement.

"Damn it, Elisabeth! What are you trying to do?" Murtagh looked at her.

"Nothing. Really." she said "I'll do what I want, not what you want. Any of you."

She looked at me then, perfectly calm like nothing was going on. Suddenly, Murtagh grabbed her arm and pushed her across the hall, pressing her against the wall. Her sword fell down on the floor.

"Murtagh, no!" I yelled, trying to move him away from Eli but he didn't move. He put his hand on her forehead and she closed her eyes.

"You can't…get…into…my mind." she said. I finally realized what he was doing. It didn't make sense to me since he couldn't read her visions, but he could maybe see the place if she'd been there. Oh.

"Murtagh, stop it!" Gerald said. I've already forgot he was even there. But Murtagh finally let go of Elisabeth, frowning desperately.

"I'll bring him back." she said, picking up her sword "I can't use magic, but I can protect my mind. People use to pass near that place not even knowing it exists, so whoever is keeping Max won't suspect I'm up to something. Plus, I don't look threatening at all."

"Eli, you can't!" I said "I don't want to lose you!"

"You're not going to lose me, mom." she said "But you might lose your son if you don't let me go now."

I looked deep into her eyes, realizing she really was capable of doing that.

"Alright." I whispered "Go."

I hugged her and kissed her and then she was gone. Tears started to fill my eyes as I turned to look at Murtagh.


	27. Chapter 27

"What were you thinking?" Murtagh almost yelled at me. I licked my lips and looked at him, unsure could I really explain it to him.

"Elisabeth is right." I said "She can do it. That's why I let her go."

"Did she do something to you?" he glared at me "Just a moment before you were against her idea! Now we won't be able to find Max!"

"Because I realized something." I said "I trust her. I believe she can do it."

"Unbelievable! She'll get him killed or worse, kill him by herself!" he said angrily.

"She would never do that." I said.

"Ah, no? I killed her father. She and Max hated each other from the first moment." he said "She wants revenge and now she might get it."

"Hm, you also changed your mind a bit then." I raised an eyebrow.

"Well, Max is in danger." he said.

"Exactly." I said.

"Stop it you two." Gerald said and we both turned to stare at him. It looked like he was going to step back but he didn't.

"This is a serious situation." Murtagh said.

"If you two paid more attention to your kids, you would realize they don't really hate each other that much." Gerald said "Elisabeth is able to save Max."

"But she…" Murtagh wanted to say, but Gerald stopped him.

"Do you doubt me? Because, after all, I taught Elisabeth how to fight and take care of herself." Gerald said.

"Yeah, whatever." I said "We could fight whole day here, but we need to help Elisabeth."

"Help her how?" Murtagh seemed a little bit less angry.

"Whoever is trying to bring us down, probably watches our every move." I said "And even though they don't know about Elisabeth, someone might do something if we don't look like we're paying attention."

"Sure. We need to give them what they want so they don't notice Eli." Gerald said "So, what are they expecting us to do?"

"I'll go meet them where they wanted me to go." Murtagh said.

"But they said we had a day, right?" I asked.

"Yes. I'll just pretend I'm going to meet with them and bring the army with me." he said.

"Umm, but won't that make them nervous and they might…hurt Max then?" I frowned.

"It shouldn't actually." he smiled "The army will be a little bit behind and hidden."

"Hm." I didn't really get it. It would just put him in danger.

"Especially because they expect me to do such a thing. I think they'll think I'm desperate, but still hoping to get rid of them. I'm sure they'll discover the army if they're so good." he said.

"Then why take them with you?" I was confused, again. But on the other hand, I was never really involved in planning any kind of actions that involved armies, war tactics and similar things.

"Like you said, we have a day." Murtagh smiled at me "If Elisabeth knows where this place is, it shouldn't be that far from here because she never was that far away. I'll just go to meet those freaks, slowly…and the army will be behind so they wouldn't suspect we have a better plan."

Huh, it actually did make sense. Wow.

"So, you think Eli will save Max before you reach them?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." he said.

"And how will you know she's done it?" I said.

"I won't. But dragons will." he smiled.

"Ooh. Good." I said.

"I think we should start planning our mission. And of course, soldiers mustn't know this is all supposed to be fake. We might have spies among us and not everyone is able to protect their minds." he said "What do you think, Gerald?"

"Well, you're probably right that the place where they're hiding Max is close. They couldn't have taken him far in such a short time and they think we would never suspect it." he said.

"It wasn't only about us suspecting." Murtagh said "Because even if we did, we still wouldn't know in which direction to look for."

"Umm, do we have a plan b in case this goes totally wrong?" I said.

"It can't go wrong." Murtagh said.

"Great." I said. I just hoped this worked or else…

* * *

Murtagh and Gerald went to put our plan in action and left me completely alone. Of course, there was really nothing I could do in this situation except wait at home for news. How sad was that? Actually, not really. I just wanted my daughter and son back so staying in the castle also meant I'd be the first one to know they arrived safe.

As for Murtagh, I was sure he could take care of himself without problems. I just hoped our plan worked because if not…well, that wasn't really an option. I went to the terrace to watch Murtagh leave with the army behind. I sighed, wishing hard for the first time in my life to get a vision. I wanted to know what would happen so bad that it made my head hurt. Maybe it was better I didn't get a vision because it could mean things weren't going well. Yeah, visions didn't tend to be nice.

Three hours had passed by and I had no news at all. I was getting really anxious. What if something had gone wrong? No, I couldn't think that. I tried to concentrate to provoke a vision, but it didn't work. It just made my head hurt.

The door of my room swung open and I had to blink twice to make sure I was really seeing Elisabeth there. I ran to her and hugged her. She really was there. Tears appeared in my eyes as I saw Max behind her back.

"Oh, honey!" I went to hug him. Max smiled at me.

"Mom, where's Murtagh?" Elisabeth asked.

"He's…he went with the army." I said.

"Where?" Max said.

"Umm, to meet with those guys." I said "I mean, not really meet. Just pretend they'll meet…"

"Yeah, whatever." Eli said "We need to get to him so we can kill those people."

"What?" I raised an eyebrow "I don't think that's a good idea."

"It is." Max said.

"Since when do you agree with Eli?" I looked at him.

"Since she saved my life." he said.

"Oh." I said "What happened exactly?"

"Well, since we don't have time for the long version…" he said "I don't remember much until the moment Eli arrived. I guess then the sorcerer's attention faltered so he couldn't keep me sleeping. I woke up. Eli cut his head off and that's about it."

"Umm, wait. Something doesn't fit here." I said "Eli did what? That man had powers. No way she could have…"

"Nice to know you don't believe in me, mom." she smiled "But you're right. I didn't have the power to fight that guy, but my boyfriend did."

"Hm, fine." I said.

"Oh, and the guy spent a lot of his powers to keep me sleeping." Max grinned.

"Yeah, awesome." Eli rolled her eyes "We need to get to Murtagh and fast."

They headed down the hall.

"I'm coming with you." I said.

"No, mom, you're not." Eli said.

"Oh, yes I am." I said.

"That's not a good idea." Max said "We're going to fight some serious freaks. You should stay here."

"No." I said.

"Mom!" Eli seemed a bit annoyed.

"No, Eli." I said "I believed in you that you could save Max. I guess you'll just have to believe me I can come with you. I don't even want to be in the first row, but I want to be there."

"Fine." Eli smiled and we went to get what we needed.

It didn't take me long to find out that Murtagh already knew about Max, thanks to the dragons. Apparently, our own army of sorcerers was blocking the bad guys from knowing the truth. It gave us a huge advantage. And we had a really good plan.

* * *

Our army totally attacked the sorcerers when they didn't expect it. How did I know? Well, Murtagh told me after it was all over. When he reached their meeting point, they thought they still had Max. Of course, they told him they knew everything about the army coming. They also said Max would die if anyone started attacking. So everyone attacked. I would just love it if I could have seen the faces of those sorcerers when they had found out Max was with us.

Murtagh said they were so shocked that we discovered and ruined their plan that some of them didn't even fight. I didn't really care about that. I was just happy my family was safe and unharmed.

* * *

After all we'd been through, I decided my family was everything to me. Yeah, I should have known that earlier. I shouldn't have tried to make Elisabeth something she wasn't or try to find something wrong about her boyfriend. But hey, there was something wrong about him. He actually could use magic! Ok, I know, that isn't really a bad thing. I just hope he'll keep my daughter safe, even though she can do that just fine on her own. The wedding is in two months.

Max is still with his girlfriend and he and Elisabeth are actually getting on well. It was a nice change. I guess they realized they shouldn't hate each other because of the past. Murtagh trusts Elisabeth more now, but I know she will never be able to forget her real father. I can't really blame her for that.

My visions are on holidays again, which is a good thing since they usually bring trouble. Actually, I don't really think someone will dare to confront us so soon since we brought down such a powerful threat.

Murtagh is working on some spell for me so I could age as slow as he was. I don't want to think about that. I've been thinking about it too much during these years and I don't want anything to ruin this perfect moment. What perfect moment? Well, the one where Murtagh is kissing me on the terrace while the sun goes down. Yeah, I so need to get back to that.

The end.

* * *

**Author's note: **And we got to the end! Thanks everyone for reading! Usually this is the part where I say the story ended up too long. Well, this one breaks the record lol. I know it took me forever to update sometimes and I'm really sorry about that. I hope you enjoyed at least some part of this.

**Disclaimer: **In case you don't know yet, I don't own any characters you recognize as Christopher Paolini's, but the others are completely mine.


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